- super sad content
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It's been the most 3 brutal days of my life. I lost the love of my life. He got hit by an idiot who was on her phone. I'll never forget how I saw his lifeless body. I haven't left the couch. I refuse to sleep in the bed without vinnie. Matter fact, i haven't even slept. I haven't stopped crying either.
But his funeral was today. So I had to get up and put on my best face. I got off the couch and started the shower. I waited for the water to get warm before i removed my clothes and stepped in. I saw his shampoo, body wash, conditioner etc. i opened the lid to his shampoo and smelled a little of it. I miss his smell. He was never a cologne kind of guy. He liked to smell natural. The body washed he used smelled like rain.
I did what i had to do, and stepped out wrapping a towel around my body. I placed both hands on the sink and looked to my right which was his side. he was never did a lot to make his hair look good, never used all kinds of hair spray or gel. So it was mainly a hairbrush, toothbrush, etc. I brushed my teeth and went into our closet. I ended up getting lost on his side. I saw the black outfit he wore on our last date before he died. I snapped out of it as best as I could, and pulled out a black dress.
I put it on and looked in the mirror fixing my hair. I can still hear his beautiful laugh last time we were in here together. I wiped the tears and headed out the door. It was 6pm, and it started at 6:30. I got in my car, and it was up to his level. I sighed with a laugh at the end. I haven't been in my car since everything. We always took his. I adjusted the seat how i like it and started the car.
I headed over there, holding back tears. I eventually got there. The clouds were dark. I shut the car off and took a deep breath. I got out and walked inside the church and over to his parents immediately hugging them both. His dad let go of me, and his mom stayed glued to me, crying into my chest. "Im so sorry.." I cried softly, rubbing her back. "Im sorry too." I placed a gentle kiss on the side of her head.
She let me go, and everyone else came and hugged me. I couldn't smile. I was miserable. My heart was hurting. I couldn't turn around to see his dead body in the coffin. I kept my back turned and tried talking to people. While everybody had their back turned, and I closed my eyes and turned around, standing in the middle as I heard people trying to lighten up the mood in the back.
I finally opened my eyes and walked up to him His hair was natural and he was wearing a suit. "hey baby.." i whispered through my tears. His hands were on top of his stomach. He was cleaned up. Like nothing ever happened to him. "I miss you.." i rubbed my thumb over his cold lifeless hand.
I placed one last gentle kiss on his forehead. "I love you.." I said, sitting in the front where everyone started sitting. I looked down at my hand and saw my beautiful wedding ring. I put my face in my hands and sobbed quietly. The whole church was full now. My sister came and sat next to me rubbing my back.
I looked over at her. She pulled me into a hug. All i wanted to do was get in the coffin with him and hold him while I die. so we can just be together again. After the pastor talked for an hour, and everyone else did, it was time to go to the cemetery. It was now 7:45pm, and everyone got into their own cars. No one was leaving anytime soon. Before they closed his coffin, I walked over to him.
"I love you so much baby.. I'll see you again soon." i placed a long kiss on his forehead. Rubbing my thumb against his cheek. And I walked away. I got into my car and followed everyone from the cemetery. I looked over on the passenger side. wait.. how? I can see him.. wearing the suit, looking at me with a smile. It's not real.. it's just my mind messing with me. I got chills and suddenly felt something on my arm. I looked down but when I looked back up he was gone.
