A Lost Creation

In Safe Hands

"Mommy, wake up." You call, shaking her shoulder gently.

She was in one of her half sleeps, where she would kind of respond to you touching her or talking to her, but you never got anything coherent out of her really.

"What?" She murmurs without opening her eyes, her head lolling to one side.

"I'm hungry." You inform her.

You'd learned quickly that complaining didn't get you any further with her when she was like this, tears didn't work either, and in fact they just annoyed her.
You knew realistically that telling her wouldn't change the outcome. She'd be like this for a little while, maybe slip into a proper sleep, and then when she was awake again she'd probably be mad at you for one reason or another again.
But you couldn't help but hope that this time may be the time that your basic needs woke her out of her daze.

Of course, they didn't.
You being hungry, cold or scared never did wake her out of her daze, but you couldn't help but hope every time anyway.

She just grunts at you, waving her arm around loosely as though she doesn't quite have full control of her body. It kind of feels like you're a fly that she's trying to swat away, a nuisance that she's trying to get rid of.

"Mommy, we don't have any bread left." You try coaxing.

You had been eating mouldy bread for at least two days, and obviously it wasn't nice, it made your tummy hurt, and made you feel a little queasy, but it was the only thing you were really capable of making for yourself, a little bread and what you could scrape out of the also mouldy jam jar.
She grunts and swats at you again, even though you'd wrapped your arms around her neck instead of continuing to shake her shoulder, searching for a piece of comfort or love from the only person who could give it to you.

"Please mommy..." You can't help but whine.

Your stomach really did hurt from eating the mouldy bread and jam, but the hunger pains you were all too familiar with were arguably worse.

"Fuck off." She groans, her words barely coherent.

It stings, because it always stings when she pushes you away like that. You just wanted a cuddle, and maybe some food. You'd even eat her low effort meal of undercooked rice and soy sauce if it meant eating something new.
You were trying to be good for her. You wanted her to stop taking the medicine that made her like this, and you'd convinced yourself that if you stopped being bad, and stopped upsetting her boyfriends then maybe she wouldn't need to be sleepy all the time anymore.

"But I love you. I just want some food." You reply, your voice cracking.

And just like that, she goes limp. Just like she was when you first found her that fateful morning. Her mouth hanging wide open, her head rolling awkwardly, as though her neck wasn't rigid bone anymore.

"Mommy." You call, panicked, moving her hair away from her face to check she's still here.

And then bugs are crawling out of her mouth again and she's wheezing while you scramble away from her, falling onto your back and winding yourself. You feel the tears filling your eyes as you repeat the same nightmare over and over again.
And that alone brings a moment of clarity for you as you scrape the bugs flooding out of her mouth off of your body.
This was just a nightmare.
Mom wasn't here anymore, this wasn't real.

"It's okay, Starshine. I'm here." You hear Dabi say from behind you, a warm hand atop your head. "Let's get you outta here, yeah?"

You spin around, seeing the familiar sight of Dabi's bright blue eyes almost piercing through you, standing out in contrast to the dark purple marred skin that covers his face, neck and arms, as well as the black hair that pokes out in every which direction.
You throw your arms around him immediately, needing the comfort you know he always brings with him. His arms wrap around you too, his warm face burying into your shoulder.