Teenage Love

Chapter 48: Trapped

I feel trapped.

I'd never give up an opportunity to play for my country at a tournament like the euros but when you have to be in the same place with the same people with really no personal space it's starts to get really tiring and you start to feel trapped.

I have been managing to get a few hours of sleep which is better then nothing, my football play hasn't been affected from my sleeping pattern as it's all I've ever known but still I can feel my legs going as the days gone on

Hoping that I'll get more sleep before I eventually collapse, I need to play these euros

I'm draining myself quicker because I'm making sure I'm keeping up to my normal standards but that means that I may be affected quicker if I don't find a solution

I sighed as I watched Alex sit at her table with Leah, Beth, Lotte and Georgia, she had her hood up like most mornings recently

She was slouched in the chair and not really getting involved in any of the conversations

I and the girls could see something wrong with Alex

She isn't her normal bubble self, she can't even act happy now, she isn't trying to tease Beth or anything

She's there but she isn't really there...

I watched as she stood up, I quickly got up and made my way over to her

I ushered us out of the room and into the hall

I leaned close into her as I tried to hold eye contact with her

Her eyes were scanning my face, never staying still yet refusing to look me in the eyes

"Alex" I said softly as I put my hands on her chest

I felt her shallow breathing on my face as she looked down at me

She was calm in a way, she didn't seem upset she just seemed tired

"Mhm" she said

She moved her eyes up to mine, her normal sparkle in her eyes wasn't there, covering it was a deep blue shadow covering her normally light blue eyes

But yet behind that shadow of deep blue I could still she how her eyes soften when looking at me, the way I could see the love in her eyes

She wasn't like this with anyone else, her eyes wouldn't soften, her breathing wouldn't be shallow like it is now

With everything going on in her life she still managed to show the love she had for me

The fact that she's only calm around me, the fact she needs me to help her, the fact that her eyes do all the talking makes my heart beat that little bit faster

Alex might come across as this girl who you don't want to mess around with but once you start to get to know her you see this completely different side of her, she's a child at heart, any chance she can she will try and tease someone, even if it's sarina.

Now I'm not forgetting about high school or college because if she was still the way she was especially in college then she might have gone of the rails by now, I've put my trust in her and hope she hasn't gone back to smoking when it gets hard, she tells me she hasn't so why wouldn't I believe her...

I'm not stupid I know Alex has a side of her that when she's annoyed she can lose it easily and start on people but I know in those moments she isn't thinking straight and needs that guidance in those times.

"Are you okay" I said softly as I slipped my hand under her jumper and top, placing it on her stomach so she had a little bit of skin on skin contact, something I know helps her in tough times

She nodded her head hesitantly

I knew to leave it there, if I pushed her any further to talk she would snap and crumble

Alex is delicate and if she doesn't want to talk and she feels like she's been forced to talk she will snap and in this moment of time I need her to stay on track, we are at the euros and we need her to be focused, if she feels likes she's being pushed and she's already in a bad mindset then she could easily spiral and possibly lose her position on the team.

"Okay" I said softly before leaning up and pressing a kiss against her cheek, I heard her let out a deep breath she had been holding

I felt her wrap her hands around me bringing me closer as she shoved her head into my neck, I allowed her take as long as she needed before she pulled apart and smiled softly at me

"Come on let's go" I said as I moved my hand that was under her jumper and shirt out and moved it to hold her hand

"Get off!" I heard Alex shout as she pushed Beth away from her

Leah and I walked swiftly over, trying to get control of the situation as fast as we could

I gently put my arm around Alex, telling her it was me so she didn't try push me off, I walked her out of the room and into the gym

She sat on one of the pile of mats, her head in hands as she tried to calm her breathing down

She was crumbling right in front of me and I didn't know what to do

"What happened?" I asked softly as I moved so I was stood in between her legs and her head placed against my stomach

"Beth just wouldn't leave me alone and then when I started to ignore her she held onto my shoulder causing me to turn around and push her" Alex said as she mindless messed around with the bottom of my top

"I know she wasn't trying to annoy me and that's why I feel so bad for reacting, I shouldn't have pushed her I just lost it and wasn't thinking straight" Alex added

"I know and Beth knows, I'm sure if you talk it out with her she will understand, she knows that you wouldn't just randomly push her with out it being a joke" I said as I ran my hands up and down her back

"How about you have a minute to your self and then when your ready come back and talk to Beth?" I suggested softly

She nodded her head against my chest

I smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead before leaving her to have a minute

I smiled as I watched Beth and Alex hug it out, I watched how the line in between Alex's eyebrows disappeared telling me that she had relaxed again

Alex walked over to me once she was finished talking to Beth, she placed her hands on my shoulders as I looked up at her

"I'm just going to go to my room for a bit" she said with a soft smile

I nodded my head with a smile before she walked off and went up to her room

I knew she needed some time alone and to be honest I would rather her be alone then possibly snapping at someone else.

As the day had gone on I had started to realise she was feeling trapped, she was someone who needed to see different things, like during covid she started to feel trapped because she was seeing the same walls every day with out being able to go out and escape the house, in the end that's all she's ever done, try an avoid being at home for as long as she possibly could to avoid her dad

She needs to get out and see something different then these same walls every day

Maybe that was why she hasn't been sleeping while, she's restless and when she's restless she can't sleep as she doesn't feel like she's done anything apart from the same thing every single day for the last few weeks, she needs a change and I think I've got a plan to solve her restlessness...