Class S: Beyond the Classroom

Chapter 366: Falling Star

Hikaru POV

What does it take for someone to become a star?

Looks? Talent? You get the idea.

However, my life as an actor...or I was an actor has put me through some extremely horrible times.

And it's not because I'm poor or anything. 

It was...much worse. 

I look back at my time as a teenager and I've realized that I could've honestly followed a different path if I decided to not get myself involved in the entertainment industry. 

But it is where I met her.

My true shining star in the darkness that I'm forced to live in.

All the shit that I've been through.

I know it was slowly pushing aside when she came into my life.

I was so happy to be with her.

However, do you know that feeling?

That feeling that your own inner darkness. This depraved side within you, slowly creeping in. It's like a cancer that doesn't just go away. It's there...lingering...waiting for it to grow and make you suffer.

I ended up stooping into my perverted fantasies with the girl whom I genuinely liked.

She was the only one for me.

The only star that deserves to shine in the sky.

No one else mattered. She was mine.

Of course, before I even knew her. There was someone else...but I was 11 goddamn years old at that time. I was just a dumb kid. I knew better despite that, but I still resigned myself to letting that woman get away with her misdeeds upon me.

But anyways, enough of the past. Let's talk about the present. 

Yeah, I've been evading the legal system for years.

They knew who I am now.

Do I give a fuck?

Of course not.

I've been pushing a disgusting lie for 15 years.

And it finally caught up to me. Even so, I'm still trying to figure out if I did regret everything that I did up to now.

What if I didn't leak my wife's address to that one deranged fan?

Would I be in a much happier life now?

Well...

It's complicated.

But here I am.

I'm living in this shithole called reality.

Ai's dead, my children probably hate me, and now I got myself into this terrorist plot orchestrated by some psychotic Russian.

I know right?

I went from being an actor, serial killer, to aiding in terrorism.

I really am a messed-up lunatic.

Then again, what's new?

I was looking at the bigger picture and yet I allowed myself to go with it and not bother to change at all.

All I cared about is fulfilling that genuine love that will never come back to me.

I am far gone, I'm irredeemable, I'm a blank slate of humanity.

Ai...

Why did it all go wrong?