Chapter 19 - Hydrangeas

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I watch one of the nurses carry the newborn baby boy toward his mother

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I watch one of the nurses carry the newborn baby boy toward his mother.

She gently presses the side of his face against his mother's, who isn't able to move at the moment because I just performed a cesarean section on her. The woman tears up kissing the side of her baby's face. I smile behind my mask at how precious and beautiful these moments are.

After a few moments of making sure everything is well I make sure the mother is feeling fine. I make sure she is comfortable and I answer any questions her and her husband may have. I then excuse myself, leaving the other staff to finish their work.

As I'm removing my surgical attire a person comes to mind. The man who I haven't been able to stop thinking about since that stupid brunch with my friends. He makes it so hard for me to not feel anything for him. I can't explain the sensation I felt when he said that I was the woman his heart desired. He even told me he would completely avoid women just so that I wouldn't be jealous.

I obviously responded negatively to all of it and I once again made sure he knew that I didn't want him. I think the more I try to convince him of that the more I am trying to convince myself of it as well. This is slowly leading to a disaster that I know will blow up in my face.

Orion also suddenly comes to mind. I always think about him every time I deliver a baby boy. It makes me feel a little sad to know he isn't a baby anymore. He doesn't love me anymore either. I just know that I love him, and I always will. He'll always be my baby.

I've never regretted having him even if I never planned of it. I was in shock because it all happened so fast, but I loved him immediately. I just hate who his father is and I hate who mine is. Mine has managed to ruin the beautiful relationship I had with my son and I'm sure that if Kane ever comes into the picture, he will destroy the small pieces that are left of it.

As I walk into my office, I realize I haven't heard from Kane in at least two weeks. There hasn't been any sign of him at all. I would like to think that it is a good thing but I'm sure it isn't. He's quiet. Quiet isn't necessarily anything good when it comes to him.

He isn't dead either because if he was Silas would have informed me. He assured he would.

 He assured he would

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