New Beginnings (Sequel to: It's Complicated)

Chapter 50: Depression

"...okay," the nurse said. "But she's extremely weak and needs some time to heal."

I felt so relieved.

"But she can't go home," she said. "She needs professional help before she goes home. She's extremely depressed and it's very unhealthy. We have a few rehab centers that she can go to."

"I will figure all that out before she leaves," Scooter said.

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"Yes, she's waking up right now."

"Thanks," I said. "And sorry for yelling."

She smiled and I followed her into Shawna's room. Shawna looked over at me and I sat down beside her.

"Baby I'm so glad you're okay," I grabbed both of her hands and brought them to my lips.

"I'm so sorry," she started to cry.

"No it's okay. We just need you to get better."

"IS SHE OKAY?" Alfredo shouted as he ran in the room.

"Yes," I said.

Alfredo hugged Shawna, "stop giving me a heart attack. I'm going to put you on a leash."

Shawna laughed, for the first time in weeks I saw her smile. Alfredo, Scooter, and Jennifer sat down.

"How are you feeling?" I asked Shawna.

"Very tired," she said. "But I'm better. I feel a little stronger."

"You shouldn't have let yourself get like that," Scooter said.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"No sweetie it's fine," he said. "You scared all of us, especially Justin."

"I know," she said. "I just couldn't find a happy place. Nothing was helping."

"Well in order for you to get better you have to go to rehab," Scooter said.

"I'm not a drug addict, or an alcoholic," she said.

"Well the treatment for you is there, and they help depressed people."

Shawna sighed. I squeezed her hand a little tighter. She looked at me.

"Can I talk to Justin alone?" She said without taking her eyes off of me.

The three of them left, and Shawna and I sat looking at each other for a long time.

"Justin I'm so sorry," she finally said. "I just couldn't find anything that was worth it. Those girls ruined my self esteem, and part of my future. It just all added up. There's a lot of pressure in this world for the two of us and we're under the spotlight. I can't do my own thing without the entire world finding out and I'm so grateful for everything and everyone but it's just so exhausting."

She had tears in her eyes and I put my hand on hers to comfort her.

"Baby, I know. You scared me really badly. But I'm just grateful you're okay. I don't know what I'd do without you, I'm just glad you didn't give up. And I know the feeling, it's so stressful and exhausting but the fans and supporters make it all worth it. And don't worry, I will be by your side through all of this."

We spent hours talking and she cried more than she laughed. I felt grateful that she was okay, but I was terrified that she would do it again or that something worse could happen to her. Scooter had her checked into a rehab place for when she got out and she would stay there for a few weeks.