New Beginnings (Sequel to: It's Complicated)

Chapter 48: Help

Shawna's POV

When we got back from taking the kids to the park I went up to the bedroom. I sat down on the bed and cried. I had no clue why and I didn't know what was going on, but I was just so upset.

It's been a week since I lost the baby and every day I found myself crying at random times, and getting drunk every night just to try and forget the pain. I don't feel happy with myself or confident and my insecurities are getting in the way of everything.

I have been overthinking everything and I can't handle it. As I cried I went out to the balcony. Not again. I put my hands on the railing and took a deep breath. I went back in my room and paced back and forth.

"Shawna?" Justin came in the room. "What's wrong sweetie?"

I broke down crying and sat down on the floor up against the bed. Justin joined me on the floor.

"What's the matter baby?" Justin asked.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked him.

"What do you mean?" Justin put his hand on the back of my head. "You're perfect."

"No I'm not," I said. "I weigh 125 pounds and I keep chewing on my nails and I've been crying all the time and I can't be happy and I'm drunk every night-"

"Baby," Justin interrupted me. "Stop putting yourself down. In my eyes, you're perfect. 125 pounds is no big deal, you're tiny and don't need to worry about your size. I know it's difficult without the baby and it's been really hard on you but you're strong enough to get through it."

"What if I'm not?" My eyes finally met his, tears welled up in my eyes.

Justin pulled me into a hug and kissed my head.

Justin's POV

"Scooter, she's putting herself down, and she's gained like 5 pounds, and she's crying and getting drunk a lot." I told him over the phone after Shawna had fallen asleep from a couple beers.

"It's a cry for help," Scooter said. "She needs help."

"I'm trying to help her," I said.

"No, she needs professional help. Counseling or something."

"Scooter, she's going to think she's weak."

"Well she needs it. I'll set her up an appointment."

"Okay," I said. "But you're breaking the news to her."

"I will," Scooter said.

We hung up and he called back a few minutes later.

"She's in tomorrow at 11:00 AM at Doctor Phillips in downtown. I'll meet you guys there," Scooter said.

"Okay, thanks." I hung up.

I laid beside Shawna and cradled her delicate body. She was peaceful.

Shawna's POV

I rolled over when the sun rose and I kissed my amazing husband. I got in the shower and put on some clothes for the day.

"Hey babe," Justin smiled from the bed when I got out of the bathroom.

"MOMMY! DADDY!" Jessica and Carter chanted as they ran into our room.

"Good morning kiddos," I hugged the two of them and kissed them.

"Can we have waffles?" Jessica cheesed.

"Of course!" I smiled.

"Yay!" Carter cheered. The two of them ran downstairs and I followed.

Justin came downstairs and kissed me as I made waffles.