A Way to Heal

Part 5

"Shijie"

No her shadow was there a light very transparent shadow of his pretty Shijie. He didn't understand why his mind was playing with him.

" How "

" Did you actually thought I could go leaving my precious didis here alone?"

It could be his mind Playing games or him hallucinating. It might also because of the thought he is engaged in nowadays. Whatever the reason might be, right now at this point his Shijie was there. In front of him. His legs with a newly gained power ran towards that shadow. He couldn't touch her but she was there. He could see her.

" Shijie, Shijie I'm sorry Shijie. Please forgive me. I couldn't save you. I couldn't save your husband. I couldn't take care of your son. I couldn't save your parents. Please forgive me. Shijie please forgive me"

He was crying and asking for forgiveness. All these years of pent-up sorrows was coming out of his heart. He could cry all he wants. Because the one watching him would never judge him.

" Ooo my little a-Xian, look at you crying like a baby. My Xian Xian is still three years old ",              Her voice was still soothing. After all these years it still helped to calm his mind.

" My little a-Xian is asking for forgiveness but Shijie doesn't know what you did wrong "

" I couldn't save anyone, I chose to the wrong path. I'm the reason everyone is still living in misery "

"A-Xian, it was not your duty to save us. And it is impossible for a person to save everyone in this world", paused for a while she continued,

"Everything in this world has an order. Birth and death are the two sides of this simple life. Whatever happened, happened because of the choice they made.

Sending you away from Lotus pier was the choice our parents made.

Going to stop his cousin was the choice Jin ZiXuan made.

Trying to save you was the choice I made.

Sacrificing themselves to repay your kindness was the choice of Dafan Wen.

We chose our fate. Not you. You are not responsible for our pain. It's because of our own decisions.". 

She looked at him with love and adoration.

" But you know what A-Xian, even if I have choose again, I would still do the same. I never regret the decision I made there. I'm sure the other's didn't as well "

Wuxian looked at her. She is still the kindest soul. Even the death could change that.

"But do you know what made me sad ?", she asked him.

" Is it because watching Jin Ling growing up all alone ? "

"Jin Ling didn't have us to look after him, but my son got so much love from ZiXuan's mother and Jiang Cheng. He was spoiled because of the love he was getting ",  she chuckled. Still  Wei Wuxian saw a glint of tears in the corner of her eyes.

" It's you who made me sad. A-Xian I thought you might live a long life . But you never valued your life. After that night, You should have still lived your like before. But you chose to end it . With the Stygian Tiger Amulet you ended your life as well."

He was quite. When Wei WuXian was a teenager he believed with a clear and conscious mind nothing could go wrong in controlling the negative energy. But his life turned out to be the biggest example to prove otherwise.

"A-Xian, that amulet was born out of your desperation to live, three months in burial mound could have killed you. But you came back more powerful than any cultivators alive. Where was that strong mind and will power  go when you needed it the most? How could you let yourself down without even trying?"

"I tried", his words were barely audible.

"You tried ...  for others. I'm asking why didn't you tried for yourself ? Why didn't you tried to save yourself like you did for others?" , there was still no answer. She knew her brother never valued his life. He always regarded himself as a shield, to protect others, the head discipline of Jiang sect .

" A-Xian, don't believe them when they say you chose wrong path. Right and Wrong are always conditional. The wrong path you said, helped you to save people. The right path they said, ended up killing the innocents. So think about it again, which path is right? "

isn't it the same question he asked to Lan Wangji that time? What is right? What is wrong? What is Black? What is white?

"Also for you to abandon the swordsmanship and choose a different path, wasn't there a reason for it? Don't forget this A-Xian, this path seems difficult and more criticized because it is less travelled. people don't know the possibilities waiting ahead. It is up to us, to decide whether to be kind at heart or Cruel."

She was right, there was a reason for him to choose this path. And he never used the endless possibilities for his own advantages.

He couldn't take this anymore. It was a lot. So he asked,

" Shijie, can't you just come back to us. Jin Ling, he needs you. Jiang Cheng is all alone in Lotus pier. Cant you please come back??? ", His tears were still flowing from his eyes. The shadow raised her hand, seems like trying to touch his cheeks.

" What about you? Don't you miss me? "

" I.... I don't... I don't have the right to miss you."

"Aahhhh .. I don't understand how Lan WangJi is taking care of this kid ", she teased.

"I don't have an answer to that. I'm already dead but I can't seem to get out of this place. I don't know how my soul got trapped here. If I could I'd definitely comeback to you all. "

Wuxian was going to ask something when he heard the rustling from inside the cave.

" Go. They must be hear for you"

" Who ?"

" A-Xian, Shijie knows you have lot of questions. But we hope you will get the answer for all your questions before you leave this place. I'll be here with others. "

"Others, who?"

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