Sneaky Link

Sneaky Link (62)

Sorry guys kind going through it- B

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I added some of my soap into the washer. I sat there. Watching the clothing items spins in about a million circles. My legs were brought up to my chest. I sat there remisnicung and feeling everything out.

From anger to sadness. And joy. Yes fucking joy, I think I might be going insane.

"You okay"? I didn't bother looking up I know who it is.

"I'm great". I said with dry tears smeared all over my face. I am great.

"Would you like to come hiking with me"? I shook my head. "I have to get this done first". I could audibly hear Ellie sigh. "Darling". I crossed my arms in defense. I already know what that tone and nickname means. I was in for a lecture. She was wearing her sweatpants and a really big hoodie. She had just come back from a shoot.

She actually brought me food which was partially the only reason I let her in my house. "Look at me". I gave in. Looking at her. She stood in the hall her body leaning against the door frame. "This is your third time washing and drying the clothes. It's not okay". She walked closer to me. "Can you promise me it's the last time"? I looked at the clothes. She was right. I've been stalling. I've been stalling all day. I was supposed to do it super early in the day. I would just drop them off and leave them no exchange of words or looks. Just leave, like she did.

But I would be doing something she didn't. I would be giving us closure.

"I promise it's the last time". She smiled placing her hand on my shoulder. "Okay good. If you need anything or anyone I'm here. Well actually I can get here. Quen and I are going hiking".

"Just fuck already. I see it and you see it". She rolled her eyes. But I didn't see I lost focus back onto the spinning washing machine.

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Billie pov

"Fuck that danny". I hung up the phone. Now the mother fucker wanted me to publicly say that those photos were for some shoot. Does he think my fans are a bunch of fools. He's the fucking fool.

I ran my hand down my face. I fucking hate this stupid shit. I know I said I made peace with my decision. But that's far from right. I think I'm the stupidest person in the world. If stupidest is even a word.

I leaned against the table. Watching the clock hands move ever so slowly. I could close my eyes and envision her. Her hands wrapped around me. Hugging and protecting me. I could close my eyes and smell her. Her vanilla musk and somewhat fruity cologne. The one I gifted her. I close my eyes and hear her words. Her telling me how much she loves me. Her eyes telling me the same.

There have been days where I wanted to do nothing else other than close my eyes and almost just almost be in her presence. But I couldn't live my life that way.

I couldn't stop living my life. She wouldn't want that, if that much I'm sure. I looked back at the clock and watched as the time went by.

I played with the ring on my finger yes the one she bought be cause I can't let shit go. Yes I have all her shit and I'm keeping it. Yes I'm selfish.

"Billie". Finneas interrupted my thoughts. "You okay"? I shook my head. "Can I fire Danny". He chuckled taking it as a joke. I don't think I'm joking though. Maybe a little but deep down I wanted that man gone.

"Come on let's finish skinny". He held onto his waist and sucked in his stomach. He's such an idiot sometimes. I laughed and grabbed his now extended hand. We walked into his studio where skinny played on these fancy ass speakers that I asked him to add to this studio. This room is like my music wet dream.