ODDS OF LOVE : SEASON TEN

Episode 59

Gerald heard the knocking at the door and swallowed a curse as his hand lingered over the pistol before him.

" Go away, " he retorted sharply.

But the person didn't go away. The door slowly slid open and in walked with his oddly halting movements on his walker Alfred Giadello. The man kept walking into the study until he stopped before the desk , effortlessly turned his walker around, pulled out the padded seat on his walker and sat down with what sounded like a grateful sigh. Then his eyes noticed the gun on the desk and they narrowed.

" What are you doing here, Mr. Giadello ? "

Alfred looked at him abruptly. " What's this here ? ," he asked bluntly as he waved his hand at the gun.

" I'm cleaning it," Gerald lied. " I want you to leave my house. "

Alfred laughed harshly. " I'm not going anywhere. And I'm not stupid. My body is shit but my brain still works. If I leave I am calling Faith Lane. "

Gerald sighed deeply. " Why would I require that woman? "

" Because I know a damn suicide attempt when I see one. "

Gerald shook his head. " I'm not.... I'm just going to clean it. I don't require the police or .... you. Please leave my house. Now. Besides if I did ..... what would it matter? I have nothing left. I have nobody left. "

Alfred swallowed fast and then let out one frustrated breath. " Cut the pity party shit , Gerald. I know what a suicide attempt looks like. Intimately. I tried to kill myself when I was sixteen. Jumped out  of a car one day. I survived. Don't know why but I did. "

Gerald was stunned as he sat back in his chair. " I'm sorry. Your life matters though. Mine ? Who cares about my life ? Even me. "

Alfred was quiet for a long time. His dark eyes focused on Gerald's face so intensely that the older man began to feel very uncomfortable. It was almost like the man could see right through him. See all his flaws. His weaknesses. His secrets. Everything. And why did he want Alfred Giadello to see it all ?

" My life? ," Alfred asked with bitterness dripping from his voice. " My life didn't even matter to my father. He hated what I am. I was nothing to him. I felt.... like the lesser Giadello all my life. The only people in my life that treat me like a whole man with a brain are my mother and my step father. Although my mother can be a little overprotective. My sister, my little sister, loves me but she treats me like one of her children. It's one reason I left Pennsylvania. To get away from her cloying smother mother performance. Dodie means well but..... I probably won't live to be an old man. I've made my peace with that. I've accepted the medication and the operations and the walker and everything that comes with my life. I still yearn for death. But I still wake up every morning and try to find a reason to keep going. So will you. That school is not your whole life. You're still a fairly young man. You're well fixed. " He waved his hand about the study. " You're intelligent. You're well read. You have a staff that cares about you. We all care. We all think you got a raw deal. Richard Norland fought for you. He fell on his sword for you. He resigned from the board after they fired you. "

Gerald furrowed his brow at the information he did not know. He was unaware that Richard had resigned. Not that it made a difference. Did it?

" You're good looking fellow as well," Alfred continued on. Those words made Gerald want to laugh. He wasn't aware that the man had any issues seeing but he must if he considered him to be good-looking. Not with what he was engaged to.

" You can easily find a new wife after a mourning period. But you can't do it, rebuild your life, if you.... you do this. Don't do this, Gerald. Please. Look. I understand. Maybe not exactly but I understand. Put this aside tonight and let's have a bite to eat. The cook said you have not eaten. Neither have I yet. I'm craving those scones of yours. "

Gerald looked into the man's concerned almost pleading eyes and felt torn. He wanted to live for some reason. No. He wanted to live for this man that he barely knew.

" Let's eat ," Alfred said. " Then I will leave you alone. But I am taking that gun with me. And I don't care what you say about it. I'm taking it to a pawn shop and selling it. Don't worry. I'll give you the money. But it's not staying here. Not now. "

Gerald couldn't help it. He laughed out loud. " You overstep a lot? "

Alfred smiled in an endearing self conscious manner. " Only with friends. "

Friends? Gerald examined his face for sincerity. Was he serious? He didn't have many friends. Colleagues yes. The closest was probably Richard and their relationship only went to a point really.

Gerald said ," Fine. But make sure you get a good deal. And I could eat a little something. But only because you need to eat yourself. I noticed you barely ate at the dreadful dinner."

Alfred laughed faintly. " My medicine side effects make me not want much food. I try though. Now shall we have a nice meal and conversation? "

Gerald sighed deeply. " Why not? "