| | Indefinite Hiatus | |
I hope to return to this project someday, but it isn't feasible with my current health issues and life circumstances. I have to cut things from my workload so I can breathe. However, I still intend to complete my current li...
Source: Message board Genre: Romance Mature: N (death, torture, violence) LGBTQIAP+: N Status: Complete First impressions: 33/40 Digging deeper: 83/100 Final thoughts: pending
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First impressions: 33/40
Title: 10/10
Initially, I thought in terms of literal queens, as in royalty, but reading the blurb, it looks like the queens are actually strong women perfectly matched to handle the strong Oberoi men. Either way, I love royalty, and I love strong women, so this is a great title.
Story description: 7/10
This is an interesting blurb, because it's three in one. Three couples, three stories, all inextricably tied together. So, while I normally don't like a quote to start a blurb, you need something like that to pull readers in and give a broad introduction to the blurbs that follow.
I like how you set a pattern and a structure for all the blurbs right away. That creates consistency for the reader, which lends a polished effect to the blurb as a whole. However, the NAME X NAME heading for each blurb feels too informal to me. I understand why you do it, so the reader knows exactly which couple each blurb pertains to, but you always follow a paragraph format that introduces him first, her second, and the hook questions third. So, the couple's names are easy to pick out without the blatant headings. It's fine for you to leave it as is, but I would consider replacing those headings with a section divider. That could be something as simple and clean as a short of asterisks (*****). To me, that would make the overall visual effect cleaner and more professional looking.
Starting with Ahaan and Amyra's blurb, the only suggestion I have here is regarding the capitalization of certain unnecessary words. They work really well to create the matching but contrasting statements for each character (Darkness and Light/Sunshine, Devil and Angel, Black and White), but you don't continue using capitalized words like that to emphasize important points in the following two blurbs, so I'd make everything lowercase here except for the proper nouns. As for the content, these two characters couldn't be more different, and a relationship between them is guaranteed to come with conflict that readers will just eat up.
Moving on to Reyansh and Ruhi, you continue the matching and contrasting statements, this time adding comparisons of Reyansh and his older brother, Ahaan, to further emphasize this is all one story. The script flips here, so Ruhi is the dark character in this pairing, not Reyansh. These two aren't complete opposites like Ahaan and Amyra, but they have their differences, and whatever secrets Ruhi is hiding will definitely cause trouble for the two. So, again, there's a good hook to draw readers in here.
