| | Indefinite Hiatus | |
I hope to return to this project someday, but it isn't feasible with my current health issues and life circumstances. I have to cut things from my workload so I can breathe. However, I still intend to complete my current li...
Source: Feedback request Genre: Romance Secondary/subgenres: Comedy, Drama Mature: Y (addiction, alcohol abuse, anxiety, blood, depression, dysfunctional family, emotional abuse, explicit sexual content, frequent strong profanity, gambling, illicit drug abuse, infidelity, loss of a loved one, needles, physical abuse, physical assault, prescription drug abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, smoking, stalking, suicide, verbal abuse, violence) LGBTQIAPK+: G (brief mention) Status: Complete First impressions: 38/40 Digging deeper: 96/100 Final thoughts: Complete
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First impressions: 38/40
Title: 10/10
This is a great romance title with many applications, and I'm really curious to see how it plays out in a romantic comedy. Tackling serious and humorous matters at the same time can be tricky, but if done well, can create a very full, realistic story with strong emotional investment from readers.
Story description: 9/10
I like the short logline at the beginning to hook interest from someone glancing at the blurb preview. The next two lines seem like semi-loglines, if that makes sense, but they work to transition into the blurb proper. Then the rest lays out the initial plot conflict, hints at humor and tragedy, and continues the odd blend of light and dark I'm seeing in the title and cover. It's clear this won't be a simple, fun jaunt in the park. There's some depth to it.
My only grammatical critique is with the commas following both instances of "but." The first one isn't necessary (third paragraph after the section divider), and for the second one (next paragraph), it should move up to come before "but," not after. Otherwise, this is pretty solid, with plenty of intrigue to pique reader curiosity.
Cover: 10/10
This is an interesting cover for me, because the black background makes it feel darker and heavier than I would expect with a romantic comedy. But the almost cartoonish pieces of hearts cut and taped together like a child's art project restore some lightness to the overall impression, and the cutesy, curly font for the title and your names add to the lighter feel as well. I will say your name isn't immediately visible over the tape, thanks to the close colors, but it's apparent when I actually stop and look at the cover, and you don't want your name to be the first thing to draw a person's eye, anyway. The graphics and the title should do that, and they do. So, I think this is a great cover. Very intriguing.
First chapter: 9/10
Solid start. This definitely doesn't open like a typical romantic comedy. First, we have Cassius, bitter, beaten down, hopeless, sobering up for his security job; second, we have Quinn, zoning out while her boyfriend admits his infidelity and breaks up with her. Neither really seems to care about anything. They're just getting by. Fractured.
