| | Indefinite Hiatus | |
I hope to return to this project someday, but it isn't feasible with my current health issues and life circumstances. I have to cut things from my workload so I can breathe. However, I still intend to complete my current li...
Title: SHAADI by Uditasree Source: Gardenia: A Review Shop by -Chrysalis_Realm Genre: Short Story Secondary/subgenre(s): Romantic comedy Mature: N LGBTQIAPK+: N Status: Complete First impressions: 32/40 Digging deeper: 66/100 Final thoughts: Complete
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Content/trigger warnings (instances and mentions of):
- Abuse and Relationships: Arranged marriage
- Death and Loss: Loss of a loved one
- Language: Mild; rare
- Violence and Crime: Disappearance of a loved one
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First impressions: 32/40
Title: 9/10
I had to use Google Translate for this, but for all those who don't know, "shaadi" means "marriage" in Hindi, and that seems appropriate, given the content of the blurb. I've mentioned before I don't like all uppercase titles, but otherwise, I think this is a good, intriguing title.
Story description: 6/10
My first observation with this blurb is that it has a lot of question marks. It starts with a question paired with an exclamation mark, which gives me the impression of excessive exuberance. It seems like you're going for a fun, casual tone in this blurb, and that's fine. But I'd cut the exclamation mark from the first sentence. Punctuation marks like question marks and exclamation marks are great for emphasis, and questions in particular are good for hooking readers, but they lose their effect when they're used too often, and a lot of these questions seem more general to real-life scenarios than specific to the story, if that makes sense. Actually, a lot of the blurb feels like that to me. It's like the plot is an afterthought, which is, of course, not what you want.
