Give Me || Suga FanFic

Forty-Five.

Rae tugged at her necklace, twirling the M initial between her fingers as she thought about her first question. She felt a pang of guilt that she was getting information beforehand about Min's family, whereas Min bravely met the Clarks unannounced and unprepared, but she was grateful he was willing to help ease some of her curiosity and anxiety surrounding his family. Even just knowing their names would help to calm some of Rae's nerves, so she settled on that being her first question.

"What are their names? I haven't researched much on the internet about your background, because I wanted to hear it all from you, but it doesn't seem like you or the other members talk about your families much."

Min nodded in confirmation while placing his hands behind his head, still casually laying on Rae's bed. "We don't, especially me. I keep my family out of the public eye as much as possible. They have never wanted to be recognized by others, and I've managed to keep their names and identities from the press. Sang-hoon and Eun-ju are my father and mother. You can call them abeoji and eomma. My older brother, Geum-Jae, I have shared a bit about him, but for the most part, my family relationships are kept from the world's view."

Rae did her best to absorb and hang onto every bit of information Min was willing to share. 

"Can you tell me a bit more about your mom?" Rae pressed.

Min paused for a moment, his eyes set on the ceiling fan that was spinning in circles above his head. He took his time in deciding on what to say, and finally exhaled, settling on the direction he wanted to answer. 

"My eomma, she's a good woman. Growing up, she was sick a lot. She did her best to take care of us, she even worked at a department store for a time, but when she was too sick or too busy to care for Geum-Jae and me, she would take us to our grandmother's house. My grandmother is who initially got me interested in music. She had a piano at her house, and I fell in love with it. I began to teach myself how to play, and then I eventually started writing and composing music."

Rae smiled. "Is that when you started pursuing your dream of becoming an idol?"

Min's face was difficult to read as he answered Rae's question. "I was 13 when I started producing music. With BigHit that's what I originally auditioned for, was to be a producer. Being an idol wasn't my intention. So to answer your question, yes, I pursued it, but it was a process. My dream wasn't supported by my parents." Min's jaw went slack after he muttered the last sentence, the memory clearly being difficult for him to talk about.

Rae could feel her heart beginning to race as she saw the visible lines of worry spread across Min's forehead. "What do you mean they didn't support your dream?" Rae managed to get out the words that felt stuck in her throat, her eyebrows creased with concern from Min's reaction.

Min hesitated, his jaw still tight, and his eyes unmoving from the ceiling. "My upbringing was far from easy and idealistic," Min's voice came out in a hushed tone, and he winced as he sat up, his eyes looking at Rae's in desperation. "I want to share all of this with you, but I need you to make me a promise before we go any further."

"What is it?" Rae's voice croaked from the pressure she was beginning to feel from the heaviness in Min's demeanor. 

Min exhaled, taking Rae's hand delicately in his."I don't want you to pity me, or be angry or sad. I've grown a lot from my past, and I've worked through the obstacles it set in my path. I know you are aware of my medical history. The OCD, the anxiety, the depression, all stem from my childhood. I don't want you to be sad for me, especially over something that no longer controls me. So as I share this all with you, I ask that you keep that in mind. Can you do that for me?"