Give Me || Suga FanFic

Fifty.

The morning drive to Myung-Hee's home was beautiful. The snow had settled in on the rooftops of Hannam-Dong like a thick, caressing blanket. The snow was so fresh from the night before that hardly any footprints or signs of the snow melting, even under the rising sun, had a chance to begin. 

With the holiday, it was like Hannam-Dong had universally agreed to rest, to stay inside, and enjoy time with family, friends, and loved ones. The streets were so quiet, the drive peaceful as Rae pulled into the driveway, parking next to a new shiny black Mercedes that she assumed had been someone's Christmas present the week before, as she hadn't noted it the last time she visited. 

Je Jum, Myung-Hee's father, answered the door within a few seconds of Rae ringing the doorbell, his tired eyes whirling with surprise and relief as he beheld Rae standing on their snow covered porch. 

"Nurse Rae, thank you. Thank you for coming on such short notice, and on the holiday. You don't realize how much this means to us,"Je Jum said in Korean as he opened the door widely to motion Rae inside, ushering her through the familiar foyer. 

Rae waved a dismissive hand. "I was going to be in the area today, this was just a short stop on the way," Rae reassured him as she followed Je Jum down the grand hallway to Myung-Hee's room, passing by the master bedroom.

"How is Hong-Joon doing?" Rae asked as she looked at the closed bedroom door, reflecting on the patient that had originally brought her to this house as he had been put on hospice after his most recent chemotherapy treatments for his pancreatic cancer. 

Je Jum's walk slowed, his eyes down trodden as his face stirred with unshed tears. "That is part of the reason why Myung-Hee wouldn't let us take her to the hospital after her fall on the ice. Just before Christmas, my father went into cardiac arrest," Je Jum choked on his words, composing his face before he continued. "Once the ambulance arrived, there wasn't much that could be done, but they took him to the hospital anyway, and that's where. . . that's where he passed." Je Jum whispered the words to Rae, as if he was worried the memory he was reliving would drift down to Myung-Hee's room next.

Rae's throat became tight as she watched Je Jum's eyes assess his fathers door, like Hong-Joon might walk out at any moment, like Je Jum couldn't fathom that the words he had spoken were real, like it was all a bad dream. 

Rae had gone through her own scare with Miles right before Christmas, but she had a happy ending. If things had gone differently . . . Rae couldn't even imagine the pain Je Jum's family must have been going through. The happiest time of the year, met with such a sorrowful event. 

Rae reflected once again on why she didn't enjoy working with hospice patients; because when they did pass, it left a pain that Rae could hardly process. Rae wasn't great with words, especially words of consolation, and it made her feel rigid, unhelpful, and weak when she couldn't comfort the loved ones that remained after the passing of someone they cared for. Rae's job was to help, to fix what was broken, and seeing the pain and heartache in the after math of losing someone, seeing that hurt reflected in the eyes of those that had come to cling to hope that she might give them of extending their loved ones stay on earth just a bit longer, or easing their pain just a bit more, it left Rae drained. Useless. Powerless. Defeated. 

"I am so sorry for your loss, Je Jum. I'm sure the holidays have felt empty without him," Rae said, offering her best condolences as she fought back her own surge of tears.

Je Jum cleared his throat. "It has been. The nature of his passing, and seeing him at the hospital. . . it is why Myung-Hee refused to see a doctor in the emergency room. She's afraid if she goes in, that she won't come back out, just like grandpa, in her own words," Je Jum explained, his face grim as he tore his face away from Hong-Joon's room, and started walking again to Myung-Hee's.