Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)

So Long, Lizzie (part 6) (final)

The next morning you had some yogurt with berries for breakfast and waited patiently for your family to come. They arrived at 10am and you had just calmed down after a breakdown because a nurse told you what brand the yogurt was, and you discovered that it was not the brand that you usually had at home and this one had more calories.

As they entered smiled with your puffy eyes and as soon as you spotted Tree, extended your arms to hug her:

- "TREE!!!"

Tree approached and hugged you, as soon as she did you started crying. She was confused and wanted to cry too, she fought against the urges to break down completely and bit her lower lip, looking at the ceiling and pressing her tongue against the roof of her mouth to avoid crying.

- "Lizzie, honey, I'm so glad to see you" was all she was able to say.

- "Me too. I'm sorry, I don't know why I am crying" you said wiping your tears away.

- "It's fine"

- "Hey mom, hey Tay" you said, and they went to hug you.

- "Hey baby, how are you?" Taylor said stroking your hair.

- "Meh, been better"

- "Do you want me to do your hair?"

- "Yeah! That'd be good. Thanks" you replied and asked your mom to get the brush from the bathroom so Taylor could do it. She braided and when she was done, Dr. Koll, the psychiatrist, entered the room. She greeted your mom and Taylor and met Tree. Then she asked the nurses to bring two extra chairs for Tree and for her. She organized three chairs at the right side of your bed for Taylor, Andrea and Tree to sit and the other chair at the left, where she sat at.

- "Let's start with you, Elizabeth, I'll be here in case that you have trouble in communicating, but I think that a good start is to tell your family what you told me yesterday"

You looked at her frightened, took a deep breath and pulled out a paper in which you had written everything you wanted to say, you started reading: - "Mom, Tay, Tree: I'm so sorry about what happened, I'm sorry for worrying you all. I know that I've been pulling away from you and I don't want to do it... it's just that I see that you're hurting because of me, and I feel guilty, I don't know how to deal with all this guilt...You've been supporting me since the first day and I just keep relapsing and disappointing you. I don't know why I keep destroying myself and everyone around me

(Your voice broke. And you had to take a deep breath again)

I feel like I'm so broken, that you will give up on me eventually and I'm really scared of that because if I can't do it with your support, how am I supposed to do it without you?

(Tears started to stream down your cheeks, you looked at your mom)

I heard you, mom, talking to Tay saying that you don't know what to do anymore and that you were desperate. I would like to tell you that I'm absolutely sure of wanting to get better, but I'm not; my head is a mess: sometimes I do want to be happy and healthy, but other times I just feel comfort in doing this

(You wiped some of your tears away)

You don't deserve to be worried all the time, you don't deserve to fight about food at every meal, you don't deserve to spend your grocery shopping watching me walk to burn calories, you don't deserve to take me to endless doctor appointments

(You looked at Tree)

Tree, you don't deserve this, I love you and I love that you care about me, but you don't deserve this"

(You looked briefly at Taylor)

And Tay, you don't deserve to live with a constant trigger. I thought that it would be easier for everyone if I just...you know, if I just wasn't here anymore