Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)

Fake a smile so (they) won't see

This was a request made by @thetrafficlights1313  ,please tell me what you think of it. I'm super open to any other requests or ideas you have. Thanks for reading <3

You were back to restricting, but you were being really careful about it not to be so obvious. It was about feeling like you were the one in control: every bit of food you left on your lunch plate at school, every bit of snack that you were able to throw away when your friends were not looking, every minute you could spend secretly exercising; were a sign of your willpower. At home you were slowly turning more into lower calorie options and safer foods, that way you were not not eating, but being more careful with what you ate. Even getting the scales from your mom's bedroom and weighting yourself without getting caught was something to be praised for; you were closer to being perfect, you felt more in control.

You were losing weight, slowly. And it was so frustrating, because you were able to lose a lot of weight during that week that you were sick, but now it was being so slow. Yet, you knew that you needed to keep a low profile to avoid alarming the people who were with you most of the time. It needed to be cautious, planned and meticulous, even if that meant a longer way to get to the desired results. You were great at faking and saying what your therapists wanted to hear, you concentrated on small details that were not really important to pass the time of the appointment.

Yet, as it was expected, your mood declined considerably. You were becoming easily irritated, withdrawn and getting brain fogs constantly. You were slowly isolating whenever possible, trying to save energy for faking when you did have to deal with people, either at home or at school. One day, a girl from your classroom was leaving to study abroad for six months and your class threw a farewell party at school, everyone was bringing something to share and you offered to bring some cinnamon rolls. The afternoon before Taylor helped you making them and when they were ready, she suggested sharing one.

- "We could share one, taste the final product" the blonde said.

You panicked, you really wanted to try one, but it was too scary, plus you already had eaten afternoon snack: - "Hmmm... I already ate my afternoon snack, Tay"

- "Sometimes it's good to eat outside of your meal plan, nothing bad is going to happen if you let yourself eat out of those rigid rules once" Taylor said trying to convince you.

- "What are you talking about? The meal plan was made for something. If I eat less than what my meal plan says, then that's not good; but if I eat more than what my meal plan says, then that's alright? Are you out of your mind?" You snapped back immediately in an irritated tone.

- "Hey, it's okay. No need to get mad. Meal plans vary according to each person, there might be who benefits from staying exclusively within the meal plan rules, but I think that you could benefit from trying to move away a little from them. It's good for you to be more flexible"

- "No need to say things you know nothing about" you said with rage in your eyes.

Taylor backed up, confused about your attitude, but mostly worried. She tried her best to hide the hurt in her voice - "Okay, then let's let them cool and then I'll put them in a plastic container for you to take to school. You said you were going to clean the kitchen, right?"

- "Yeah. I'll do it. Don't worry about it" you said sharply, and Taylor left to the living room without trying the cinnamon rolls herself.

You knew you fucked up. You didn't know where all that rage came from, but now you knew that you needed to talk to Taylor, tell her how sorry you were for reacting that way. You felt the lump in your throat and the tears coming, so you decided to clean the kitchen first and prepare yourself to talk with Taylor while you did that. 15 minutes later you were done and made some tea for both of you, then you walked to the living room and found Taylor scrolling on her phone. You approached her slowly