Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)

Chapter 43

The following week went well, at least that's what Taylor and your mom thought. You ate "everything", because you managed to throw away at least 1/3 of each meal. It was a good thing everyone thought you were doing better, since now they were less strict. You were slowly losing weight and engaging into some behaviors again, your mind was screaming loudly.

When Monday came you made sure of drinking a lot of water before the weight in and the scales showed you had gained another 2.4lbs, also your heart was working the same as last week, so it was stable.

- "Am I getting discharged?" You asked eagerly.

- "Yes Elizabeth, you will be getting discharged. You've worked really hard" Dr. Khan answered with a huge smile on her face. You almost felt bad for tricking her and lying, but you couldn't stay another second in that hospital anymore, they just wanted to make you fat. After all, your heart was doing better, there was nothing to worry about anymore. Or so you were convinced of.

Dr. Khan texted your mom as soon as she saw your weight so your family could come earlier than visiting hours normally to surprise you. The doctor acted as if she needed to go somewhere else before pushing you back to your room, she even took you to another wing of the hospital, pretending to need to fill some paperwork. You didn't complain, though, it was fun to be outside of your room and it was nice to see the hospital for one last time before never going back (or so you thought). When you got back to your room, Taylor and Andrea were waiting happily for you and they even decorated your room with some balloons.

- "Hey Lizzie!" Taylor said running to you to hug you.

- "We're so proud of you darling! We know it was hard, but you were so brave into taking the first steps into your recovery" Andrea said smiling.

- "Hey Tay! Hey mom! Thank you!!!" You said, once again feeling bad because of lying and not being completely honest about your recovery.

- "So, Mrs. Swift, will you please come with me to fill the necessary paperwork for Elizabeth's discharge?" Dr. Khan asked your mom and then looked at you - "You can stay here with Taylor and pack your things, get everything ready, okay?"

Your mom nodded and followed the doctor while you and Taylor played some music and started to pack your clothes and all the stuff you brought. You were trying to move as much as possible, but Taylor noticed and quickly put you to rest:

- "Why don't you fold clothes sitting in the bed and I'll get everything from the bathroom?" Your sister claimed after raising her brows.

- "Fine" you said rolling your eyes at her.

After about half an hour everything was ready, but it took another half an hour for your mom to get back, so Taylor got into bed with you, and you played some Grey's Anatomy on your iPad. A couple of minutes after your mom came back a nurse brought your morning snack. She said that after eating it you were free to go.

- "Last meal in here!" You said cheerfully.

In that moment Andrea's phone rang and she went outside to take the call. Taylor noticed you were moving your spoon around the bowl without actually starting to eat but decided not to say anything for now. When Andrea came back, she had panic written all over her face:

- "There's been a problem with the pipelines at the specialized clinic and there's no room available for you"

Taylor and you stared confused at her. Then Dr. Khan came in.

- "A nurse told me you needed me, Mrs. Swift"

- "Yeah. Thank you for coming. I just got a call from the specialized clinic; they say there was a problem with the pipelines, and they had to close a whole ward. There's no bedroom available for Elizabeth" Andrea said.

- "Hmmm. Sorry to hear that. There's no other clinic that can take her in?" Dr. Khan asked.

- "No. Besides, I really wanted this one for her, it's the best around here." Your mom replied.

- "Well... I guess that Elizabeth will be going home for some days... since you already signed the discharge paperwork, we couldn't admit her again right now" Dr. Khan claimed nervously.

- "REALLY? I get to go home?" You said excited.

- "Just until the clinic fixes this" your mother said.

- "YESSS!" You said making a little dance and Taylor softly laughed at your reaction.

You ate your morning snack, a nurse brought the wheelchair, and you sat down on it, Taylor carried your stuff while your mom pushed you. Your mom and Taylor thanked the staff and said their goodbyes. Dr. Khan kindly walked you all to the car. When you were about to stand up to get into the car you turned around to thank Dr. Khan:

- "Thank you so much for everything Dr. Khan. Sorry about all the times I was mean. You were really kind to me and made an actual effort to know me and get what I was feeling. I really appreciate that"

- "I'm glad to hear that, Elizabeth. Don't worry about the times you were mean, I know that that wasn't you being mean, it was your illness screaming at me. Like I said, you're a special young woman. You're intelligent, incredibly generous and loving. Right now, it's difficult for you to see it, because your eating disorder is still in control most of the time, but there are great things waiting for you out there. I hope you know it. You're wonderful and I hope you can see it someday. Good luck in the rest of your recovery" the Dr. said as her eyes watered a little.

You both hugged and you felt extremely guilty for how you treated her and for lying to her and everyone. Getting the chance to go home was a great opportunity to fight your eating disorder, prove your healthy self that there was a point in living. Dr. Khan and everyone around you was on board with your recovery, it was time for you to get on board too.

Andrea drove home with Taylor sitting in the front passenger's seat and you sitting in the back. Once you got there you were so thrilled to be back home. You got off the car and ran to your bedroom to lay in your bed.

-"Slow down, Elizabeth! You are not supposed to be running. You know that!" Andrea shouted both irritated and worried.

-"Mom, she's excited to be home. Don't be so hard on her" Taylor claimed defending you.

When morning snack time came around you got really anxious, don't knowing if you were going to be able to eat it all. You were organizing your room with Taylor's help and Andrea came to ask what you would like to have for morning snack.

- "I'm not that hungry" you responded.

Andrea looked at you serious and straightforward: "You know you have to eat, Lizzie"

- "Yeah, I know... it's just... maybe I could have something light?" You pleaded.

- "You're having what your meal plan says you have to eat" Andrea said.

- "But that's an old meal plan, I might be needing way less food now" you claimed.

- "Don't be ridiculous! You've only gotten worse since you got this meal plan at the outpatient treatment program. You have weight to gain, almost the same amount you did when you started at the outpatient program" your mom said irked.

- "Fine. I'll have an apple and greek yogurt" you said defiantly.

-"An apple WITH peanut butter, honey and greek yogurt" Andrea said before leaving you and Taylor in your bedroom.

- "What is it, baby?" Taylor asked rubbing your shoulder noticing you were evidently irritated.

- "Nothing. Let's get back to this" you said sharply. You didn't want to have a talk right now.

Andrea called both of you downstairs and you all sat down at the dining table to eat. You noticed they were not having peanut butter with their apples, so you started to complain, you hated feeling like you were eating more than everyone else around you.

- "Why aren't you eating peanut butter, but I have to? You spoke.

- "We are not recovering from an eating disorder. You are having what your body needs, Lizzie" Andrea answered.

You complained but ended up eating everything. Then you and Taylor finished organizing your room and sat down to put together the puzzle you couldn't finish about two months ago because you got hospitalized. When lunchtime came Andrea called you downstairs and as soon as you saw your plate you started to freak out: it was pasta with shrimps. The same dish that you ate before going to hospital.

- "It's okay, baby. You can do it" Taylor said stroking your hair and gently guiding you to seat down.

It took you about 45 minutes to eat half the plate, Taylor and your mom were already done eating. You started to claim that you were full and couldn't eat anymore. But your mom quickly shut you off saying you needed to eat it all. An hour later you were done eating but your stomach hurt so much you started to bend yourself in pain.

- "I'll make you some tea if you'd like" your mom said, and you thankfully accepted.

When it was time for your afternoon snack you begged your mom to push it a little later, because you were still full from lunch. Andrea accepted, because it took you long to finish your lunch, but said she will only give you 45 minutes more before calling you downstairs. The meal went awful, tears started to stream down your face when you were 1/4 through it. However, you were able to get rid of half of the meal by hiding it in your sleeves. Neither Taylor nor your mom noticed that you were hiding food, but Taylor could sense that you were not okay. She tried to talk about it again, but you quickly cut her off. You were able to throw away about 1/3 of your dinner and then secretly work out in your bedroom before going to sleep. You didn't know why you were even doing it, you really wanted to try to get better, but the voice in your head was screaming vociferously.