You really don't know how or when it got like this. It started with 'just taking care of what you were eating'. You didn't even wanted to change that much the way you looked. You started exercising, more and more each day. You actually thought you were healthy, that each time you declined a food offer meant you were doing a good thing, that each time you hesitated (and ended up not going out with your friends because you had to work out) was actually a sign of your willpower.
But here you were: standing in front of a tray of chocolate chip cookies offered as snack at school, debating on if you should eat one or not. After some minutes you decided to give it a try. One cookie wouldn't hurt, right? It wouldn't toss all your progress away... you extended your arm to grab a cookie. But to your surprise you couldn't move your limb more than an inch away from you. You tried telling yourself it would be okay, it was just one cookie. You tried again, but fear was running all over your body, you just couldn't do it. Your friends were standing right beside you and started to get impatient:
-"Are you not going to grab the cookie Lizzie?"
-"Can we get going? It's a sunny day, I want to lay down on the football camp"
You quickly grabbed an apple and told them you were ready to go with them. You sat down on the grass and tried to focus on the conversation your friends were having, but all you could think of was about that damn cookie. As you stared at the apple and ate it into tiny bites, your mind was screaming: Why couldn't you take it? What was this strange thing burning inside your chest? Was this fear? Were you afraid of a cookie? What the hell just happened?
The bell rang: recess was over. You said goodbye to your friends, they were in the other classroom, so they had english and you had to go to gym class, you were going to meet them again for lunch time.
You were still thinking about the cookie while you were all stretching and warming up to get ready to run, suddenly you heard your teacher trying to chat with some girls in your classroom:
-"How many cookies you had? They were great, weren't they?"
-"Yeah! They were. I had two and a half, I just couldn't stop". A tall skinny girl from your classroom answered.
You stood there, following the warm up exercises and thought to yourself how could that skinny girl eat two and a half cookies and still be skinny? How could she say she couldn't stop while you were unable to even start. Your thoughts were interrupted by the teacher calling your name and saying:
-"Wow... I guess I haven't been paying much attention, but you are so much thinner, Elizabeth! Keep it up! You look great"
-"It's true Lizzie. Look at your small waist. It's amazing". Said a classmate that was close by and heard your teacher comment.
Then it hit you: maybe you weren't meant to have that cookie after all... Maybe that tall skinny girl could have as much cookies as she'd like and keep being skinny, but you couldn't.
The rest of the day went quite normally. You were heading home and as you got to the front yard you saw your sister's car parked in the street. TAYLOR WAS HOME, SHE SAID SHE WAS NOT COMING UNTIL 2 WEEKS LATER, BUT SHE WAS HERE.
You unlocked the door and saw your mom and Taylor sitting in the living room. They turned around and you ran to hug your sister.
-"Taylor! I missed you so much! I thought you were not coming until the end of the month". You said almost screaming.
-"I missed you too, baby. I thought I might surprise all of you by coming home early. Was it a good surprise?" Taylor said hugging you.
-"It was! I love you so much. We haven't seen each other in a bit more than a month, since my 15th birthday". You said as you washed your hands in the living room's bathroom and went to the kitchen to grab a snack. You opted for a green apple, which you cut into tiny pieces and placed them in a bowl.
-"I know! It felt like an eternity to me. I love you too. How was school? I was thinking that we could bake together some cookies and then binge watch Grey's Anatomy?" Taylor asked.
You really wanted to spend time with your big sister, but you had to work out. You couldn't miss your run. Besides, you also had homework and studying to do. You knew you could be done with your homework in about 30 minutes and then bake with Taylor and sit down for the rest of the evening. But just thinking of that made you feel again that burning thing in your chest...
-"Ummm. I'd really love to Tay. But I have homework to do and I need to study for my chemistry test, also I need to workout. We can watch one or two episodes after dinner. How about that?"
-"Okay! I'll bake the cookies myself then. Good luck with homework and working out. See you later sis". Taylor said.
You headed upstairs as you heard how your sister and your mom kept talking about the new songs Taylor was writing for her new album. You got to your room, sat down on your desk, turned up some music and ate your apple with a fork while you played candy crush. After 15 minutes you were done, so you changed into some workout leggings and a dry thru shirt, put on your sneakers and went downstairs.
As you were heading to the sink to clean the used plate, Taylor said:
-"Whoa, you already finished your homework? That was fast".
-"No, she usually studies and does homework after working out. She was probably playing candy crush". Your mom said.
-"Yeah. What she said". You replied giggling.
Taylor frowned when you were standing backwards while washing the plate and gave you a concerned look. She was thinking about how small your thighs looked in those leggings. She did not remember you looking so skinny two months ago. As soon as you closed the front door and said your goodbyes, Taylor asked:
-"Mom, has Lizzie lost weight?"
-"Yeah! She has lost a bit of weight, but she's looking amazing. Doesn't she?"
-"I think she looked amazing and was pretty a month ago too". Taylor said.
-"Of course she's pretty and amazing and was pretty and amazing a month ago, I just think this weight loss makes her even more pretty and amazing".
Taylor just ignored her comment and continued with their conversation.
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Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)
FanfictionTaylor's little sister, Elizabeth, is struggling with an eating disorder. Lizzie is 15 years old and Taylor is desperate to help her. Trigger warning: this story will contain topics related to eating disorders, depression, self harm, anxiety and m...