Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)

Chapter 28

It was Monday's morning and you had just showered and threw your uniform on. You were so anxious: on the one hand, you were nervous about the weight in appointment. There was this perfectionist part of you that didn't want all that effort you did to go wasted, you worked hard; therefore, you wanted that effort to pay back all the tears and discomfort you had been going through. But there was also this part of you that knew that if you did gain weight, you were going to feel like a failure and that you were letting go all your control. On the other hand, you also had a math test at 9am, you studied a lot, but math was not your forte. You sat down to have breakfast but as soon as you saw your plate you felt like throwing up.

- "You okay?" Taylor asked.

- "Yeah, just a bit nauseous. Probably because of the math test. You know, I want to score perfectly" you answered.

- "Is it just your test?" Andrea asked.

- "The weight in too" you answered ashamed as you took a piece of scrambled egg into your mouth. You immediately blushed.

- "You've been trying so hard. I'm sure it'll be okay" Andrea said and then she went upstairs.

Your face changed and you blinked your tears away.

- "What is it?" Taylor asked rubbing your shoulder.

- "I want it to be okay. But I don't want to gain weight, though. I feel huge, I know I might have gained like 15 lbs." you replied.

- "You know that that's not possible. You are expected to gain a minimum of 2 lbs. a week on the meal plan" Taylor said rolling her eyes.

- "Exactly. A minimum" you interrupted her.

- "Liz, I get that you're anxious. I know that you feel huge. But I need you to fight back those feelings and thoughts that your brain convinces you about with facts. You feel huge, you feel like you've gained 15 lbs. But let's focus on the facts: 1) You're on a measured meal plan that aims you to gain at least 2lbs. A week, right? We don't know if it's possible to gain 15 lbs. on it, but today you can ask Dr. Sach if it could happen, just to clear up any doubts. But I'm almost a 100% sure that the answer will be negative. 2) Even if you did gain 15 lbs. What's the worst that could happen? That wouldn't change how much mom loves you, how much I love you; how much Erin or Lou love you. It wouldn't change the fact that you are Elizabeth Swift, a sweet, intelligent and wonderful 15-year-old woman" Taylor said kindly but straightforward.

- "Wow" was the only thing you could say.

- "I don't know if it helps you. But fighting back those feelings and twisted thoughts with facts, that I know that they are real, with logic, helps a lot. It worked for me back then" Taylor replied.

Taylor's words made sense. You were still anxious but were determined to ask Dr. Sach and logically fight back or prove right your fears.

- "Actually, Tay.... Would you come to today's appointment? I love how you support me, it would be nice if you were there" you asked softly.

- "Of course Baby, I'll be there. I'll always be with you as close you want me" she replied.

You slowly finished your breakfast and went to catch the bus. You got to school and did your math test; it was easier than you thought it would be. After everyone in your classroom was done you talked about the answers and you were relieved because you got the same answers as Lina, the best girl in math in your classroom. You spent your recess, as per usual, with Lou and Erin and for morning snack had some yogurt and strawberries. The rest of the day passed quickly and before you knew it you were already in the car with Taylor in the front passenger seat and your mom driving to the treatment center. You got off the car, rang the doorbell and started walking to that consulting room at the end of the hall with Taylor while your mom arranged something with David about some bills. Before knocking the door, Taylor pulled you into a tight hug and said:

- "I'm so proud of you, Baby. I love you to the Moon and to Saturn. It will be okay, but if it's not what you're expecting, I want you to know that I'm still here for you, okay?"

You sniffed and nodded, then knocked the door and you were greeted by Dr. Sach. Andrea got there on time.

- "How did this past week go, Elizabeth?" The Dr. asked.

- "I'm feeling horrible and huge, but I did follow my meal plan, though" you replied.

- "It's normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at first, Elizabeth. It will ease. Your vitals record doesn't show any improvement, not the ones we took here, neither the ones your mom took at home. But at least they seem to be stable, they show no improvement but no deterioration either. This could be a good sign. Let's weight you" the Dr. said.

You stood up shaking and went to the bathroom to stay in your underwear and wear the robe. Taylor and Andrea were almost as anxious as you were. They saw all your effort, they supported you, but they were scared that it wasn't enough, and that Dr. Sach would still advise either hospital or an inpatient treatment at a clinic for you. You got out and walked slowly to the scales but were unable to step on it.

- "Come on Elizabeth, you've done this lots of times already" Dr. Sach said a bit annoyed.

Taylor stood up quickly and grabbed your hand. She gently guided you to step on the scales after giving you that forehead kiss you loved. You stepped on the scales and breathed in deeply. You looked down terrified, it was lower than the last time you saw your weight, but then remembered that you didn't see your weight last week, so the weight you remembered was the one from 2 weeks ago. You looked terrified at Dr. Sach, waiting for her to say something:

- "You gained 1.5 lbs. since last week, well done, Elizabeth. It's less than what we would've expect on the meal plan, but we know that you've been working hard. Now, please step down and I'll do a checkup" she said.

Taylor helped you to step down, walked with you and helped you get on the gurney Dr. Sach did the checkups in. You extended your arm, and she took your blood pressure, temperature, and heart rate. She checked your throat and your back again, just as last week.

- "Your heart rate is still at 40bpm, all your other vitals are the same as last week's. Your throat is looking good and the bruises on your back are less visible. Congratulations, Elizabeth. It's evident that you've been doing your best, even though we'd like to see an improvement in your vitals, they're maintaining, and you've also gained weight. No the expected, but it's a step" Dr. Sach said.

- "Does that mean I'm not going to hospital?" You asked anxiously.

- "Yeah, that means that we will hold on the hospitalization option for now. But you need to keep up with the good work, okay?"

- "Yeah, I promise" you replied. Running towards your mom to hug her.

You went inside the bathroom to get dressed and were quickly dismissed to the dining room to have lunch, but Dr. Sach stayed chatting with your mom and Taylor for a while.

- "This is good news, of course. But we need to keep an eye on her, she needs to keep on with the weight gain. Her vitals must improve till the next weight in appointment."

Andrea and Taylor thanked her and headed out to have lunch themselves, they were finally seeing a bit of light in the midst of all the dark.