Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)

Chapter 55

It was Thanksgiving and, as usual, you were having this dinner party at home with some family members (your aunt, a couple of uncles, their wives, their children); Blake, Ryan and their children: Betty, James, Inez and the baby; along with Tree and her family. You were more terrified than happy to see them all and gather around the table.

While you were getting ready, you recalled last year's dinner: how everyone complimented on how good you were looking, how you were already worrying about what you ate (yet you still thought it was just a diet and that night, although you didn't eat pumpkin pie because it was 'too high in calories', you were able to "cheat" and eat some ice cream, you just convinced yourself that you needed to 'make up for it' the next day, which meant exercising more and eating less). You sat down on your bed, with your black skirt and your white crop top on, you were feeling extremely self-conscious. You remembered how one year ago you were happy and excited to see everyone downstairs, but this year you'd rather stay in bed all night and not see anyone.

Tears started to stream down your face as you tried to remember but couldn't determine when or how everything span out of control so quickly... everything seemed fine by last year's Thanksgiving: you felt healthier and happy...but everything changed so fast: by Christmas eve it was obvious that you were not enjoying food or life at all. It was obvious for you, not for those around you (or so you thought). That night, on Christmas, you felt awful after eating, but kept pretending that you were fine, then you went upstairs to your bathroom, and it was the first time you stuck your fingers down your throat to throw up. You felt even worse after doing it and you knew that it didn't get rid of everything you ate, so you decided that you were going to do it only when it was really necessary.

You didn't know it, but people started to notice and get concerned way before you fainted at school, around Christmas, however they didn't say anything, but you caught them staring. Your mom was in denial until Taylor spoke with her that night, but deep down she knew that something was wrong. After Christmas you decided that, since you didn't want to throw up, you needed to exercise more and cut on food. Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Andrea who was knocking on your door:

- "Lizzie, sweetie, are you ready? Guests are going to show up any minute"

"Shit" you thought, you lost track of time. "How much time has passed since I was here crying and reminiscing, instead of getting ready?"

- "I'm almost ready, mom, I'll be downstairs in 10 minutes" you replied and quickly stood up to wash your face. You did your eyeliner instantly, then curled your lashes and applied some mascara, chose a red lip gloss and went to Taylor's bedroom to borrow some gold earrings and ask her to do your hair. Taylor's door was open so when she saw you standing there, she signaled you to just walk in.

- "Hey Tay. Can I borrow those gold heart shaped earrings please? And would you do my hair too?"

- "Of course, baby" she said looking for the earrings and handing them over. "What would you like me to do to your hair?"

- "Maybe something like half up half down with a braid?" You suggested.

- "Perfect. Sit down and I'll get it done"

While Taylor was braiding your hair you decided to tell her about your feelings:

- "Tay... can we talk? I'm not feeling good.... I'm scared"

- "Oh baby, sure, what are you feeling? What are you scared of?" The blonde asked stroking your hair.

- "Well... first of all, obviously I'm scared and nervous about the food... you know I used to love pumpkin pie, but last year I didn't eat it because it was 'too high in calories'. Also, tonight's dinner it's like a buffet, I don't know what to eat or how much...what if I'm eating too much?" You said panicking.