Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt (fight)

TW: this chapter contains a sh description.

After a couple of months of being better, weight restored, and just attending for weekly appointments, everything was being hard again. You didn't know why it was happening, but you just felt like life was feeling heavy once more. You were waking up tired and with bags under your eyes yet going to bed late because at night you couldn't fall asleep easily. Eating was becoming a struggle again, nothing too alarming, but thoughts of calories, numbers, having to work out to make up for what you were eating were constantly occupying your mind. You were eating, but after being done, guilt and failure feelings were present. Hopelessness was feeling your soul, and you didn't know what to do, you just wanted to feel okay again, but didn't remember when was the last time you felt alright.

You felt like you were trying your best to not fall back into old habits, trying so hard to stay okay and not worry those around you, but it was VERY difficult to do it and sometimes you'd cry at night when nobody could listen, or when taking a shower. You thought you were doing a good job, but one Wednesday night everything exploded.

You were cleared for low impact exercise three times a week while you proved that you could maintain that healthy weight. Dr. Sach said that when she knew that you were ready and she felt confident that you were maintaining a healthy weight for a prudent period of time, she was going to let you introduce more exercise more regularly. You had booked a Pilates class for Monday afternoon 4pm, but 10 minutes before the time, your mom asked you to go with her to pick up some curtains she had bought. You agreed but felt incredibly nervous and anxious about missing your Pilates class. That night your head was killing you, it was screaming at you, telling you how fat and the failure that you were for being so weak. Now that you were cleared for exercise you missed out on opportunities to exercise. Back in time you would've refused to help your mom and fought to attend your Pilates session. Back in time you would've fought to meet your exercise goals and your head expectations, but you weren't doing that. You saw it as a weakness. The next day you woke up exhausted from a very hard night, you were so anxious that woke up several times that night and you even had a nightmare related with food. You had rescheduled your Pilates class Tuesday afternoon. All day long you psyched yourself into thinking that it was okay that you ate your meal plan, because you were going to exercise and make up for it later in the day. When you arrived from school you had afternoon snack and prepared yourself to go to Pilates when a massive thunderstorm hit. It was out of nowhere, one minute it was sunny and ten minutes later it was raining heavily. When you came downstairs you found Andrea chatting with Taylor in the living room:

- "I'm ready" you said as you finished your ponytail.

- "Darling, I don't think it's a good idea to go out in this storm" Andrea said taking a sip of her coffee.

- "What? No!" You said clearly in distress.

- "We can make some hot chocolate and chill" Taylor suggested.

- "I've got homework to do" you pouted.

- "You were not going to do homework for about an hour and a half while I took you to Pilates, you had your class, and we came back. You can chill for an hour with us" Andrea said trying to convince you.

- "I don't want to" you replied annoyed and climbed the stairs back to your room, went to look for a hoodie, you were freezing.

Taylor climbed the stairs after you and knocked gently on your door, you let her in.

- "Hey"

- "Hey"

- "Are you okay? You seem angry" Taylor said sitting on your bed.

- "I'm not angry. I'm fine" you said irritated.

Taylor decided to ignore your attitude: - "How much homework do you have? You can do it and then chill with us"