It's nice to have a friend (part 3)

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For the next couple of days you stopped eating at school, you hid in the bathroom and waited until everyone left to the cafeteria and then went to the library to study. On the third day you came home and had afternoon snack just to throw it up right after. You were feeling dizzy and weak, so decided to do homework instead of working out and then directly head to sleep. After you were done with homework, you felt the anxiety rising, and decided to throw on some shorts and a sports bra and follow a 30-minute cardio workout on YouTube. Lou had replied to your mom's message with a short but blunt: "Lizzie has definitely relapsed. She's lying to everyone. You should talk to her, it's bad".  Andrea knocked on your door to talk to you but since you had your Air Pods on you didn't hear her knocking. She opened the door either way and was shocked when she saw you overstraining and red-faced while working out. She was able to see you without all the layers of clothes you had been wearing. She was shocked at the sight of your ribs sticking out, and your skinnier thighs.

- "Elizabeth!" Andrea said almost in tears.

You just looked at her with your eyes wide open and ran into your bathroom to lock yourself inside. Andrea followed you but you were fast enough to close the door.

- "Elizabeth, open the door!" Andrea said firmly.

You didn't answer. You started to look yourself in the mirror and for a brief second saw some of your bones sticking out and your sunken eyes. You turned around and saw that your mom was trying to open the door, then turned again to the mirror and suddenly didn't see that sick girl anymore. She was replaced by the horrible thing you had been watching. The doorknob stopped moving and you relaxed for a bit trying to figure out what happened. Then you heard your mom trying to unlock the door. She had gone to get the key to her room. You froze until your mom opened the door and started shaking. She was very upset, even furious, she planned a whole outburst in the 40 seconds that took her to get the key and open the door, but as soon as she saw you standing in there, shaking in fear, she opened her mouth and couldn't say anything. You looked at her and started to cry loudly. Her heart broke and she just hugged you.

- "Come here darling" she said approaching you.

You just hugged her and fell down to the floor sobbing.

- "I'm sorry. I'm sorry" you repeated.

- "Shhh. It's okay. You are going to be okay" Andrea said while holding you tight and stroking your hair. After about 15 minutes you were able to stop the sobs and now, they were just sniffles. Andrea helped you stand up.

- "We need to talk about this, Liz"

- "I know. Let me change first" you said wiping your tears and walking to your closet to grab some other clothes. You put on some joggers on top of the shorts and a hoodie on top of the sports bra. Your mother watched as you changed and then you invited her to sit on your bed and you sat beside her. After a minute in which none of you spoke you decided to break the silence:

- "I don't know what to say, mom"

Andrea turned and held both of your hands and squeezed them tightly, her eyes watered and even though she tried her best not to cry, a tear escaped and fell down her cheek

- "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't cry" Andrea said wiping her tear away and with a broken voice.

Your heart broke. You knew your mom was hurting because of you. It was your fault. 

- "I'm sorry, I just don't know... I'll get better" you said looking at the floor.

- "You don't have to be sorry, darling but I would like to know what happened" your mom said.

- "I don't know" you replied softly. You were too ashamed to tell her about the New Year's resolution, she would think that it was stupid, because you had been, in fact, stupid when making that decision. You didn't want to tell her about your friends either.

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