Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)

Chapter 14

School went well the following days. As predicted, on Thursday afternoon you were sitting again on that waiting room. They called your name and you got to meet Dr. Pine, a psychologist. He did some tests on you and asked you about your family life. At the end of the appointment the Dr. called in your mom and said they had gathered all the information to decide what step to take next, the only missing thing was taking a look at all the blood tests, ECG and bone density scan results, which were predicted to be ready on Thursday night or Friday morning. Your mom said she would forward them as soon as she got them, so they scheduled for the next morning the final appointment with all the professionals in which they would tell you what kind of treatment you needed.

Taylor had called Blake and asked her to take you in for dinner that night, since your mom had a dinner with her friends. Your mom dropped you off at Blake's.

- "Hey Lizzie, how are you doing?"

- "Hey Blake, I'm fine, what about you?"

- "Everything's okay too. We've got the evening to ourselves, since the kids are with Ryan's mom and Ryan is working. What would you like to do?" Blake said excited.

- "I don't know. Whatever you'd like it's fine" you answered.

- "What do you think of cooking some homemade pizza? You loved that when you were little."

Anxiety hit you. You really wanted to have some homemade pizza with Blake, it was the best pizza. But you were so damn scared. You didn't want Blake to worry, and you didn't want Blake to tell Taylor that you were struggling. You needed to prove them wrong, at least for a little while. You wanted to show your family you were okay, that you didn't need whatever treatment they suggested at the center, so you could go back to doing what you were doing in peace. You needed them off your back. So, you accepted the pizza.

- "Yeah! That sounds great."

It was awesome. It had been so long since you enjoyed cooking, but with Blake it was impossible to not do it. She played some music and you both danced while cooking, it was incredibly fun. As time to eat approached, you got more and more anxious, but you managed to control your thoughts. After pizza was ready you and Blake sat down and ate. It was delicious. You had missed this. After eating, Blake told you she was going to clean the kitchen a bit and said you could sit down in the living room and relax while she did it, you were going to watch a movie after she was done. You offered to help her, but she refused.

You tried to sit down, but panic was building rapidly: you could feel the fat going to your thighs and filling your cheeks. You excused yourself, went to the bathroom and stuck your fingers down your throat. It had been long since you last forced yourself to throw up before, you didn't like it, but desperate times called for desperate measures. At first it was though, but after a couple of tries you were able to do it. You lost track of time; Blake finished cleaning and heard a noise coming from the bathroom. She approached and heard you throwing up.

- "Lizzie, sweetie, are you okay?" Blake said.

You panicked. No answer. But at least you were done throwing up.

- "Lizzie, come out, darling".

You flushed down the toilet. Blake knew exactly what you were doing.

"Just a minute, Blake. I'm coming"

You stood up, washed your face, took some mouthwash, and reached for the doorknob to open the door, but your vision went blurry. Dizziness hit you. You opened the door and Blake noticed you were pale and about to pass out, she helped you walk to the couch.

- "We need to talk; don't you think so?" Blake said with a straight face.

- "There's nothing to talk about. It's nothing Blake, I promise" you said trying to catch your breath. "The pizza probably made me sick".

- "Lizzie, I know. You don't have to lie. I know you've been struggling with food. I know you made yourself throw up". She said with tears building in her eyes and held your hands in hers.

You just couldn't deny it to her. You just started to cry.

- "I'm sorry. I really am. This is the first time that I do it (another lie, but you weren't going to admit it) Pleaseee don't tell Tay or my mom. I've got it under control. I promise" you said begging.

- "Shhhh. It's okay. Talk to me" she said calming you down.

You broke down.

- "I just don't know what to do. I don't know why I did it. I haven't had pizza in so long, I really didn't want to ruin this, but guilt took over me. I'm sorry, Blake". You said sobbing.

- "You haven't ruined anything, sweetie. But I don't think you have any of this under control. You are starving yourself, making yourself sick, over exercising to the point of passing out. You are not okay". Blake said still holding your hands.

- "I don't know how to stop Blake. I just feel disgusting. I don't want to worry Taylor, I know she asked you to look after me, to bring me here today. But it's not enough. I don't feel sick enough".

- "Honey, you'll never feel sick enough. Not before the eating disorder kills you" she said.

- "I don't have an eating disorder, Blake. I just lost a bit of control" you snapped back.

Blake's heart broke.

- "You're right. I'm not a doctor, but you know I need to tell Taylor and your mom about this. I love you. You need help and I cannot keep this to myself" she said.

She knew that you were clever enough to start an argument saying she wasn't a doctor and could not diagnose you with an eating disorder. So, she just saved it and hugged you until you fell asleep in her arms.

Before your mom came to pick you up, Blake texted her asking her to have a word at the front porch, so they didn't wake you up. When your mom got to Blake's house, they sat at the front porch and Blake told her what happened.

"I don't know what to do. It just seems to be getting worse. I feel so out of my league" Andrea said with a broken voice.

- "I'm sorry. I know this must hurt so much. I'll call Taylor later to catch her up. What about the therapy? Has she started going yet?" Blake asked.

- "No. Tomorrow morning we have the appointment in which they're going to tell us what treatment she should follow. I just got the results of all the tests they sent her. I don't understand much, but from what I've been researching, it's not good". Andrea replied.

Blake gave her a sad look and hugged her.
- "She will get through this. I remember when Taylor was struggling, it was awful, we had to push her a lot, she denied everything at first, but eventually she started to accept that she needed help. It's a tough process."

- "Sometimes I ask myself when did I go wrong... I know that motherhood is not perfect but having my two girls struggling with an eating disorder... it must have something to do with me" Andrea said sobbing.

- "Hey, this isn't your fault. Of course there must be something that affected them growing up, but this is no one's fault. You will probably address the family dynamics on family therapy. But do not blame yourself Andrea, it does not help you, neither does help Lizzie".

- "You're right Blake, thank you so much for keeping an eye on her. And always being there for Taylor and our family".

- "It's my pleasure. You're my family too".

They hugged until Andrea calmed down. They gently woke you up and Andrea took you home to rest. You needed to sleep for the appointment next day.

I'm sorry that I didn't update yesterday, I was waiting for TTPD, which I loved! What do you think about it? I loved I can do it with a broken heart, I absolutely relate. Tell me about your favorite songs on TTPD! Anyway, I'll probably upload another chapter today xoxo.