A Loveless Alliance

Chapter-64 [Happy pain]

SIDDHARTH'S POV

A sigh escaped my heavy chest as I leaned backwards. My jaw tensed, a stretched tongue roughly gliding against my inner cheeks and fist shut, clenched.

“You look tense.”

I hummed and rubbed my palm against my thighs, straightening my back. “It's because I am tense.” Cracking my stiff neck for the nth time, I leaned forward and placed both my elbows near my knees, staring dead at the street in front of me like it had any solution to my restlessness.

My own breath fumed my frustration. These invisible shackles of the promise to her that bounded me outside pushed me to the feeling of helplessness, the one which I despised the most.

“Myra di is strong. She can handle them alone.”

I stood up swiftly, like an animal pouncing straight on its feet, and turned to look at sanvi. “I know that, but just because she is capable of handling it all alone, doesn't mean that she has to carry it all alone!”

Especially not when I was here, so near yet confined in a space too far to reach her.

A rugged breath came out of my mouth, lips slightly parted like every cell in me was restricting against sitting relaxed. I sit back down on the bench, letting my fist clenched against the arm of the bench.

The vein from my forearm to neck stretched, flexed in a way like it could pop any minute. Anger was one thing but the feeling of restlessness swirling in the pit of my stomach was pure torture.

I had never found myself this worked up and stormy; like calmness and patience, the two qualities I usually possess forgot their way to me.

Sanvi was chilling beside me, enjoying her ice-cream while I looked like I was five minutes away from a heart attack.

We had just gotten back from a nearby clinic, after she felt like fainting and now she sat, chillin’ like we were on a school picnic.

Forget a picnic! If anything I felt like I was stuck in a nightmare, where I wasn't able to stand behind Myra while she fought the battle.

Loving her wasn't a decision I made. I wasn't half before her, and I wouldn't call it fate either. She came to my life like a fresh sunray, and I, who used to love the night, spreaded my arms wide open to embrace it like it was the only thing I ever craved, needed and could survive upon.

There was one thing I had learned about it, about love.

Love never comes alone, it dreads loneliness so instead it carries a loyal companion with it; such a companion which never goes away, he who comes to stay, stays even after your flesh turns into ashes–pain, that's what the companion is called.

It was terrifying considering how much distraught another person's pain could make me feel yet there was a strange mellowness in this ache of my heart, and the sole reason being that the ache had a name and it spelled out her.

Even this ache felt addictive.

I was still in my mind, glorifying pain when something told me to lift my eyes up away from the green grass below my feet.

And there she was, walking towards us, not in any hurry but like a tired human returning home at night.

I sighed a deep sigh as if some kind of fresh oxygen flew around me. Sounds ridiculous? I didn't care. Standing up from the bench, I took two steps forward–not more, not less.

There was a sense of peace slowly taking over me as I watched her walking towards me. I wanted to savour the feeling deep inside me and cage it under my bones or something.