Part Of Me (Ereri / Riren)✔️

Timeless.

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You know that one couple? That one couple that always snuggles, giving sweet Eskimo kisses; happy and in bliss? That's what Eren and I used to be. Eren is what I had lost. And frankly I was scared I was going to lose him again, the second time. I was no longer his Prince Charming, the one who swept him off his feet and away from the danger when he was in need. He needs me; at least; I think he does. I'm angry, confused, sad and very lonely. I don't know if I'll ever be able to run my long fingers threw his hair, threading them softly and unknotting the small kinks in his messy waves of brown hair. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell ever again that I love him. No one else. I only loved eren. But I don't know if he is even alive anymore. I don't feel warmth through me. I feel.....

Empty.

Lost.

Alone.

Afraid.

Empty; my heart feels empty, confused and dark. It doesn't feel like its pumping blood or even beating, constantly thumping harshly against my strong and muscular chest. It doesn't feel like anything. It just feels empty. So very empty.

Lost; I was lost. It was like I was in a foreign universe. I don't know what to do, or say, or think. So I stand there, looking off into the unaware space and unfamiliar surroundings.

So as you sit there, peering over at that couple, jealous of what they have; you know how I feel. I envy the two happy people. Their warmth swarming their minds and eyes as they just get closer and smile in bliss. I miss that.

"Levi." The voice called. I kept staring at the desk, peering at the table that Erwin, Hanji and I were sitting at with a grim feeling in the air. "Levi!" Erwin shouted, making me flinch and look up at him, scoffing blandly. "We may have the slightest idea where he could be.." Hanji explained with a small and sad smile. It was a reassuring one. I laid my head on the table, wanting just to curl up and cry in the corner of a dark room, alone. No light, no warmth. "Just....." My tiny voice cracked multiple times, tears brimming my red and blood shot eyes that were a bit puffy and dark from the lack of sleep.

"Find him..." I finished, breathing out mad feeling my throat clenched. I 'tch'ed again at the flowing rivers and pools of emotions and tears I was showing. I felt so valuable and weak. I felt dirty.

I got to go home soon after the brief meeting. I just sat in the car, rested my pale forehead on the black leather steering wheel and shut my eyes tight. "Eren..." I spoke as if he was sitting in the passenger seat. "I, had a really bad day." I whimpered, clenching my hands into fists and letting the tears flow down my cheeks. I drove home after. Although my vision was a bit foggy from the tears in my eyes. I walked into the apartment lazily shutting and locking the door. I walked into the kitchen, grabbing the cupcake mix. My brain was clouded with emotions and foggy memories. I was thinking of one as I cracked the egg into the mixing bowl.

-memory time-

I was cuddled under Erens arm, sighing heavily. I had a stressful day and nothing was more relaxing than watching Netflix and eating cake while cuddling with my love Eren. I laid my head in his lap and nuzzled him. "I had a really bad day." I huffed, my cheeks puffing out just slightly. Eren smiled, kissing the top of my head before poking my side, randomly. My eyes shot open as I let out a quick 1 second laugh and let my hand slam over my mouth just after. Did I just...?

Yup.

Eren raised a eyebrow, poking me more at my sides and silently giggling at my squirms and laughs I was attempting to hold back. I arched my back up and threw my head back laughing harder as I felt happy tears brim my shut eyes. I blinked them away as I pleaded him to stop. Eren placed a soft and gentle kiss on my lips; surprising me. I kissed back, automatically sitting up and straddling the younger boy whom was taller than me. Ugh. I wasn't short, I was vertically challenged. Duh. Eren pulled away, nuzzling my neck and inhaling my scent softly with a small felt on his lips as he kissed my collar bone. He knew that was my weak spot. That damn brat.

After a few mesmerizing kissing and silly giggles we pulled away, rubbing our scrunched noses together. Eren started it after I had licked the tip of his nose when it got some cake frosting. I just couldn't resist. He scrunched his cute little nose and rubbed it on mine, smiling at my fake gasp and scrunching up mine and doing the same, as if to mock Eren. We sat like that in silence for a couple short minutes until we both bursted into a fit of laughter about how silly we were acting.

That day i dont think I have ever laughed that much or even that hard.

-flashback over-

I pulled the cupcakes from the oven, already mixing my icing and waited for them to cool. I added the food dye to the fluffy white and sweet frosting. I stirred and stirred until it was at the perfect and familiar shade that I loved so much. I craved just to pick up the spatula that was covered in the colored frosting, and lick it; just like Eren would do. But I resisted. I just placed the creamy frosting in a frosting bag and swirled the icing in a circular motion, creating a delicious cupcake with pink frosting. Just like I used to. I only made two cupcakes. One for me.

One for Eren.

I specially plated it and set it on the coffee table, smiling at how pretty it looks. Eren would nod gratefully, licking the tip of the cupcake and then taking a big bite, getting globs of gooey icing all over his cute face. I would smirk, ruffle his hair and wipe his mouth. But now, in reality...I sat here. Alone. With two cupcakes. I carefully unwrapped the cupcake wrapping around it and placed it on my plate, careful with handling the warm and delicate cupcake. I looked at the cupcake, some stream still rising up Into my nostrils. A single, glistening tear ran down just one of my eyes, as I bit into the cupcake. I missed Eren so much it made my head hurt. I finished my sweet and tasty cupcake that will never live up to the standards of Erens tender and sweet lips I found so delicious.

I looked at Erens cupcake. "Eren." I cried out. I laid my head on the pillow, tears still pouring out of my eyes one by one slowly and steadily as i spoke, as if I were laying on his lap. "Eren." I said again, slower this time, taking my sweet time to let his name roll off my tongue.

"I had a really bad day."