I Don't Care If Heaven Won't Take Me Back

Chapter Twenty Eight

I feel like it's going to be a while before I will get this feeling of constantly wanting to cry out of my head. I haven't though and that I'm proud of. Last night was horrible and I'm ready to get me and Stella out of here. I started packing some of our things hoping to get done before jack got home so I wouldn't have to speak to him, but with how my luck is going I just heard the front door shut and foot steps walking down the stairs.

"No.. Kate no" jack came storming in the room once he saw me packing trying to take all my clothes out of the suitcase "you can't leave! I won't let you leave me"

"Dammit jack what did you expect" I yelled grabbing my clothes back from him. He dropped to his knees I front of me and started crying. All I thought was pathetic I had no feelings towards it. I ignored him and kept packing.

"I will tell you everything, I can fix this. We can fix this" he cried standing up.

"No we can't" I quietly said zipping up my bag "go say goodbye to Stella were going to be gone for a few days"

"Kate please don't take her away from me" he cried harder.

"You have five minutes, I have to go grab some stuff from upstairs"

I left the room before jack could speak simply my tough front is now starting to crash down. I hate this, I hate what's happening, it shouldn't be like this. I walked into the kitchen where everyone was sitting quietly, I ignored them all and started to pack all of Stella's bottles, bibs and other things.

"Your leaving" Madeline asked shocked as I packed everything up, I ignored her.

""We should have told you" Johnson added on.

"What's done is done" I said quietly zipping up the bag, then making my way back down stairs.

Jack was holding Stella to his chest letting small tears fall, I tried my best not to look as I walked into what was once the room we shared to grab mine and Stella's thing. I brought them up to the car where Sammy and skate were standing.

"We know you hate us" Sammy spoke first "we wanted to tell you so badly but were afraid this is what would happen."

"We love you Kate, we just wanted you happy"

Like I have been doing I ignored them, I just walked right back down stairs. Nervously I walked up to jack and grabbed Stella out of his arms.

"I love you so so much okay baby daddy loves you" he said grabbing ahold of her hand kissing her cheek. I turned around to walk upstairs when Stella started crying almost causing me to loose it right there.

I'm not taking her away from her daddy forever just a few days, he needs to realize that she is number one not some girl named Maddison. Jack walked up with us as I placed her in her car seat kissing her one last time before walking to the drivers side to me.

"I'm a fuck up, I always have been. But you and her, are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can't believe I let that slip away. I will prove it to you Kate that I can be good enough for you. Please I just need you to tell me that I can have one more chance, you can go home clear your head and when you get back we can start over a fresh new start, I just need you to give me some hope."

I got in the car and buckled up my seatbelt in the few seconds of time I had I thought of what I could say to him, something not harsh but to get the point across. I turned on the car putting it in revers but stepping on the brake, I rolled my window down so I could speak to him.

"Thank you. Thank you for giving me Stella, thank you for bringing me into your family, for being so excepting of me, and thank you for all the memories. But I can't promise you hope jack, because I no longer have any" I bit my lip to the point I could taste blood just so I wouldn't cry "we will talk about arrangements with Stella when I get back, will make it work being separated parents and someday we will move on meet new people find new love" as I said those words I don't think I was trying to convince jack but more myself.

Before jack could say anything els and I broke down I took my foot off the brake and left. I left everything behind, the person who I thought was the love of my life and some of my closet friends. There's no going back now, I'm on my own no more Kate and jack.

We got to the airport and I got my ticket to Omaha, I placed Stella in my lap she was just waking up looking at me with those beautiful chocolate brown eyes that I love so much. I look at her and I see my world, my peace, my light, my everything.

"What do you say baby" I tickled her tummy "I think we should go to grandmas. I don't think you have ever met her." I sighed "shes my mommy, she made a mistake once but when you entered this world she came and apologized and right now I think I need my mom, for the first time in a long time mommy needs her own mommy"