I Don't Care If Heaven Won't Take Me Back

Chapter Twent Nine

"Kate?" My mother asked as she opened the door, I stood there not really sure what to say it has been a year sense me and my mother have had a civil conversation.

"Hey" I quietly spoke "I was wondering if me and Stella could stay here for a few days?" I managed  to choke out at this point I don't know what I would do if she said no.

"Stella" she said looking down to her granddaughter "she is stunning Kate" I did something I never thought I would do, I picked her up out of her seat and gently handed her to my mom.

"It would just be for a few days" I smiled bring up the previous asked question.

"Honey, you can stay here as long as you want" she gestured for us to come inside.

I took a look around, everything looks exactly how it did when I was kicked out. One thing was missing, my father. I remember her saying that she left him at the time I guess i just didn't believe it. After zoning off for a moment I looked at my mom memorizing  Stella, she was sound asleep in her arms. She must know that's her grandma.

"I'll go lay her down upstairs then we can talk" my mom said standing up. I sat down on the couch that I used to watch endless basketball games on remembering all the memories made. It's weird being here when I got off the plane I felt like I should have gone to David and Katherine's I know I'll have to face them at some point just not yet.

"Here" my mom said handing me some water before she sat down next to me.

I was shocked when instead of saying anything she took my hand and pulled me into her so I was resting on her shoulders. Thats when I finally broke, I finally cried after everything that has happened in the past few days I let it all out and didn't hold back.

"He broke your heart" she sighed rubbing my back "but your not ready to let him go are you?" I shook my head into her chest. I'm not ready to say goodbye to jack no matter how much I say I am I'm not.

"He cheated on me" I cried "he lied" I sobbed harder "but all I want is to be in his arms"

"Can I tell you a story?" She questioned, I sat upwards so I was facing her and shook my head yes.

"When I first met your father I was so in love. It took one look and he had me" she smiled "he was Beautiful, sweet and so charming I just couldn't stay away. Long story short, we were in love we got married and right away had Tessa, when you sister was two years old I had found out your father had cheated on me. This was before he was apart of the church he didn't have the same morals he has now." She spoke defending him.

"I left him and like you ran to my mom, I didn't know how to think or what to do, but I knew one thing I wasn't finished with him yet. He still had my heart, I wasn't ready to let that go. So I went back to the house when I walked in he had his head in his hands and tears running down his face afraid of losing me and your sister. He made a mistake Kate, one that after time I was able to forgive"

"What I'm trying to say is your father always had my heart, until he broke the heart of one of the things I love the most, you.. When it hit me, everything we did to you all the pain your must have gone through I finally I knew he didn't have it anymore because you and your sister did."

"I don't get it" I sighed I mean I understand what she is saying it just confusing "what's the point?"

"My point is, if you love jack you wouldn't be stupid for giving him another chance. He will always be your love weathers he's your first or last until he does something, if he does something that impacts your daughters world then he will always hold your heart in his hands"

"I do love him" I said "how do I forget everything he's done"

"You don't, you just forgive"

Me and my mom sat on the couch and talked until two in the morning. We caught up on life, she told me about everything she has been doing like finally becoming a nurse, she wants to start going on mission trips with Tessa. I told her about Stella how much she has grown and the things she has done, I told her about me and jack and how we grew as a couple in the last year. I at one point even thanks her for kicking me out because if she hadn't who knows maybe me and jack would never have been together. After a while we both decided to go to bed, I'm planning on staying for a few days so we have a lot of time to talk.

I was just about to fall asleep when I heard my phone ringing. I ignored it the first few times but it wouldn't stop, I finally grabbed it to see jack was calling, and after what my mom said tonight I was glad he was.

"Hey" I answers the phone.

"Hey" he sounded calm and collected "can we talk?"

"Yes, but can I go first?" I asked

"Yea" he sounded surprised.

"Okay.. I know what I said in the driveway was harsh but I didn't mean it. I love you jack I really do and I'm not ready to let that go. We're a family right? I don't want to give up on that. I can't  forget what you find but I'm willing to forgive you. Because I am so in love with you jack gilinsky"

After poring my heart out he stayed silent, I was expecting him to be happy and excited but I guess he is just taking it all in.

"Kate" he spoke softly "I love you, but I have been doing some thinking"

"Oh" was all I could say, what was he thinking about?

"I have been sitting here trying to come up with excuses to get you back, but i come up with nothing" He sighed through the phone. "I don't want to stop seeing Maddison" The line went quiet as I was trying to process, after everything he wants to be with her?

"So I Mean nothing to you? All the things you have said about me being the one sense elementary school, the note I found in your locker. What was all that then?"

"I thought I was in love with you, I mean hell yea of course I love you I always will. But I look back on that and think now maybe it was just a crush." I heard him sighed frustratingly through the phone as I was tempted to throw it at the wall.

"I love Stella and I wish I was able to love you the way you love me but I can't, I need to figure out what I want and with you around I can't do that."

Wow way to be harsh jack. I felt my heart brake into a million little pieces with every word he spoke. "I guess all this time I was thinking you were so in love with me when it's the other way around" I managed to speak though my tears "if that's what you want I can't stop you"

"We can figure out arrangements for Stella" he said ignoring my sadness.

"Yea sure"

"I'm sorry Kate.. I just need time" and with that the line went dead.

As of tonight me and jack gilinsky are officially over. I wish I would have never gone to the party that night because if I hadn't then maybe he would still be mine. Even though he would have had someone on the side I would have been the one who could have called him mine. Now all I can do is sit here, I guess I never truly knew what heart brake felt like until this moment. I'm broken, and have no Idea how to put the pieces back together.