I Don't Care If Heaven Won't Take Me Back

Chapter Thirty Nine

Other then meeting up with jack to get Stella we have not seen each other much. And in the two seconds we did it was awkward I don't think either of us knew what to say. We both said horrible things to each other and we're both to suburban to apologize. Other then that we haven't spoken, and it's been almost a week. The boys and Madeline fly back tomorrow night then Stella's birthday is the next day, so we will have to face each other then. As for now I'm going to spend a peaceful day with my beautiful daughter and best friend Cameron at the zoo.

"Look at her sleeping" Cameron said nudging me, I turned around to see Stella in her car seat with her eyes closed and sunglasses hanging off her nose.

"So cute! I have to get a picture of that" i reached down in between my feet on the car floor and grabbed my purse looking for my phone. One thing about being a girl with a huge purse you can never find what your looking for. Makeup don't need that, diapers I'll need those eventually, wallet glad that's in here, a sucker? Okay I guess it's cherry so mind as well keep it, but cell phone is no where in sight. "I can't find my phone" I said frustrated while still looking.

"Did you leave it at home?" He asked looking around the car.

"Shit I think I left it in the bathroom, I was listing to music while getting ready" I complained, I never forget my cell "can we just take pictures on your phone? Will you send them to me?"

"Of course" Cameron smiled as we pulled into the parking lot of the zoo.

I have always wanted to take Stella to the zoo, she loves animal epically penguins, she has a stuffed one name mark, don't ask about the name, Johnson named him. Regardless she sleeps with mark every night and cries without him.

Once the car was in stop me and Cameron got out, he opened the trunk for me so I could grab Stella's stroller and get it all set up so she could sleep for a minute longer. Once it was I went to her side of the car taking her seat out and buckling her in tight. She opened her beautiful eyes to look up at me still tired but I think she got the sense we were about to do something fun because she didn't cry.

"Stella look at all the birdies" I said in my baby voice as we walked into the zoo after we paid. It was a net ind area with wiled life flying around. She sat in aw as I pushed her stroller around the park while me and Cameron talked.

"So how are things with you and jack?" He asked braking the silence as we kept walking.

"Still haven't talked" I sighed " I just don't understand if he wanted me back so bad why he would say such hurtful things"

"Maybe he was tired of trying" Cameron said shrugging his shoulders.

"I have only been home for a few weeks.. And plus I gave him chances and he chose her.."

"When are you going to let that go" he complained as we stopped in front of the lion exhibit.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I questioned raising my voice a little too much. Stella didn't notice but the lady next to me and her two older sons looked at me like I was crazy. I whispers a quick "sorry" as they walked off and Cameron laughed.

"It means, your obviously in love with the guy and he said he was sorry.. Plus you slept with Kian"

"After me and jack broke up!" I defended myself.

"Like two seconds after" he huffed.

"Are you on his side?" I asked looking at him, I mean I understand they are kinda friends but really is he trying to make justice for everything jack did.

"No" he laughed "what the dude did was fucked up.. It's just we all know you guys are bound to end up back together so wouldn't it be easier if you just got it over with and stopped all the awkwardness and fighting.. Love ya Kate but it's getting old."

"I can't trust him"

"But you love him"

"Oh Stella look penguins" I said changing the subject walking faster to get ahead of Cameron so this conversation will stop.

"Stop running from it!" He yelled from behind me. "JACK AND KATE SITTING IN A TREE KISSI-"

"Dammit Cameron shut up" I said grabbing his shirt pulling him closer to me so we were face to face "you don't understand the pain jack put me through. Yes I slept with Kian and that wasn't the smartest thing, but he was sneaking around with Maddison for months and when I was willing to forgive him the first time he still chose her. I'm still picking up the pieces, do I love him yes, do I want us to be a family.. Of course. But am I ready to forgive him for everything that has happened in the past and more recently, no I'm not. If there comes a time and place where I know we could be what we once were then maybe. But for now the answer is no"

Cameron just looked at me taking it all in. I don't think he expected me to say everything I just did. I have said it a million time and I'll say it again, I love jack. That doesn't mean what he did was okay and simple sorry is going to make it all better. He ruined what was once a great relationship.

"I can't wait to say I told you so" Cameron said cracking a smile and walking away from me with Stella to go look at the Penguins.

I just stood confused, I just told him what was on my
mind and he laughed in my face, friend much? But Cameron is also a guy and doesn't get it. He was right when he said all we do is fight and there is awkwardness but what's that have to do with him?... Oh god I bet him and all the guys talk about us, that's embarrassing.

We walked around the zoo for another hour or so. We watched the dolphin show witch Stella loved. Every Time water would get splashed she would giggle loudly as if it was the best thing in the world. We stopped for ice cream and let's just say her face was covered in chocolate, I took Cameron's phone to take picture to send to myself sense I forgot my phone at home, great day to forget it Kate.. It's not like you kid is smiling every five seconds..

"I'll call you later" I said as I got out of the car carrying Stella in gently into the house so she wouldn't wake up.

I opened the door quietly trying not to make any noise, I didn't even risk turning on the lights, once a she wake up she will be up for a while and it's already nine at night. I walked carefully into her room and set her in her crib. Once she was down and covered up I went into my room and got into some pajamas to get ready for bed. As I was doing so I heard my phone beep letting me know I had a voicemail. I almost forgot I left my phone here all day, in a way it was nice not having it for once.

I grabbed my phone to see I have 3 missed called from jack, 8 from Sammy and Skate, 10 from Johnson, 11 from Emma jacks sister, 16 from Molly jacks sister and over 50 from Madeline. What the hell is going on, with all these missed calls only one voice mail from Madeline. I pressed listen not prepared for what I was about to hear.

"Kate please answer your phone. We are on our way to Omaha, Katherine and David were in a car accident. It's bad Kate, it's really bad."