I Don't Care If Heaven Won't Take Me Back

Chapter Fifty

"Will you just please let me talk! You won't even let me explain!" Jack yelled.

Okay so let me play out for you how the last twenty four hours have gone. Kicked jack out of the hotel room, got zero sleep due to the babies and Stella kicking me. Oh an let's not forget that my husband and father of my children might be having a kid with someone else any day now and I just found out about it, so I think my excuse for no sleep is valid. Well then there was this morning when Madeline came to get Stella so we could talk, I'll catch you up. Jack will start speaking and me being the bitch that I have been the last few months won't let him Finnish. I have this thing about me when it comes to getting the last word in.

"There's nothing to explain jack! She's pregnant with what could be your kid! What more could there be?"

"The fact that I just found out about this a few weeks ago!"

"Oh wow" I sarcastically laughed "you were pissed when I put off telling you I was pregnant, but it's okay when you do it... Especially when its Madison's kid"

"You know" he huffed "I try Kate, I try so damn hard to always say the right things, to do what's best for this family. Sorry if it wasn't the easiest thing to tell you. I was going to okay! But sometimes you make it so fucking hard to tell you things, because to you everything is my fault"

"Because it is jack" I screamed walking towards him "it's your fault! It's always your fault! Everything that has happened between us has been your fault!"

"I'm sorry! What more do you want me to say? It's not like this baby is going to change anything if it's mine or not. Your my family, you Stella and the babies"

I sat down taking it what he just said. Could he be more or a dumbass to even think that's okay to say this out loud especially to a mother. Especially when he already have kids of his own.

"Who the hell are you?" I quietly spoke looking up at him "you pretty much just said that you would pretend like this child doesn't exist"

"I can't love something or someone especially knowing if that someone isn't as much mine as it is yours" he said sitting down on the chair across from the bed looking me in the eyes.

"Jack" I said soothingly " I'm selfish enough to not want my kids to have to share their dad" I sighed looking down at my hands "but if this baby is yours that means they have a brother or sister they deserve to know.. And that means that you would have someone who is a part of you.. You can't just ignore that"

"But I don't want to lose you Kate"

I sighed looking up at jack. The news of all of this doesn't make me happy at all. And to say I hate Madison is an understatement that girl has done nothing but cause us trouble from the second me and her first locked eyes. Then again me and jack weren't together at the time, I had no control. Does it hurt knowing he was romantically involved with someone else? Of course it does, but it's not like I didn't know that. When I think of Madison's baby and that it could possibly be jacks it sucks, but hearing him say he wants to pretend like this child is nothing hurts even more.

"The pain that you felt when you lost your parents was unbearable and you said you hoped Stella would never have to feel that pain" I looked to jack and he nodded his head "well I know what it's like to have a father who wants nothing to do with me, I see him and he walks the other way pretending that I am just a stranger. Every Time I think or see him the pain that I feel hurts more then anything I have ever experienced, it makes me wonder what I did so wrong to make him think that way of me, it makes me wonder how he could just ignore the fact that I am his daughter but he wants nothing to do with me. I might not talk about him a lot but I think of him everyday.. So tell me, would you want this baby to feel that way?"