I Don't Care If Heaven Won't Take Me Back

Chapter Fourty One

"Let's get married"

The second the words left my mouth I knew I had said something that could possibly change my life for the better good. But first let's get one thing straight, in no way did I say this hoping it would make everything better. I know that something like us getting married can't mask the pain of losing Katherine and David, but maybe it could help us mend our pain that we have created. Jack just laid next to me confused with his eye brows scrunched together and at this point I wish I knew what he was thinking. Thankfully just as I was starting to feel like an idiot he spoke.

"God I love you" he said pinning me down on the bed kissing me passionately.

This was like no other kiss we have shared before. I could feel the wetness from the tears on his cheek, I could feel the hunger we both had for this kiss one I know I have been waiting months for. The feeling of his lips feel almost foreign due to the fact it has been so long. I could feel the love that he had for me, the love he has denied up until a a couple weeks ago, I could feel the butterflies fluttering around in my stomach like the use too, it almost as if this could be a dream. But it's not..it's reality.

Katherine told me something would bring us together again, something that would make me realize jack the one I love would be the person I would want to spend forever with. I just wish it wouldn't be under these circumstances. Her and David are the ones that brought us back together again, not in a happy way not even in an okay way but through death.

As I feel jack taking off my clothes I know what's coming. I have always said sex should never be a way to get things off your mind but in this case it's different. Maybe it's because this is the first sexual moment we will have shared in months or maybe it's because he needs to get the loss of his parents out of his head only if it is for fifteen minutes. Tonight I'm okay with it, because I need to get the same thing out of my head. Also because I will finally get to have him again, all of him.

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I woke up to jack sitting only in his boxers at the end of the bed. He was holding a picture of him and his parents that they took probably when he was around the age of ten. I could only see him from the back but I didn't miss the year that fell on the frame. A broken boy looking back on what once was a happy put together family.

"Hey" I said bringing the sheets up to my chest to cover myself then scooting over to jack linking my arms around his neck. "I love you" I spoke quietly kissing his cheek.

Jack just sat there with a blank expression staring at the picture. I wish there was something anything I could do. In all honesty I want to brake down and cry but I know I have to be sting for him, someone does. He was the strong one for me when my parents kicked me out, he always knew the right things to say yet I'm sitting here stuck on my words.

"Talk to me" I said rubbing his shoulders hoping he would tell me how he feels, it's not good to hold things in.

"This was my eleventh birthday" he took his thumb and dried off the tears that have dropped on the picture "just me, mom and dad went on a little road trip to yellow stone park"

"tell me about it, what did you do?" I said taking the picture from his hand, then sat on his lap.

"We did what anyone would do there" he sighed as he tried not to cry "on the way back dad pulled the car over on the side of the road and had me get in the front seat. He let me drive for a mile or so, mom sat in the passengers seat smiling as dad would tell me what to do.. Up until now I took that moment for granted"  he broke down into my neck while I rubbed his back and let him cry, what else am I suppose to do? I only wish I knew.