Temporary {Camren}

Chapter 8

Lauren had fallen asleep before Camila, so Camila had the honour of watching her new fiancé sleep without her keep complaining she was staring. Fiancé..Camila hadn't even expected Lauren to take her out on a date let alone propose to her, yes she was flattered, but she still couldn't see why Lauren would have even thought Camila would turn her down. Camila always thought that she had showed Lauren enough love so that she believed her, she tried to whenever she was around and even when she wasn't. Camila loved Lauren with all her heart, of course she would marry her. Camila adored Lauren and the entire night was so perfect. Especially the end of course, Lauren was her fiancé, yes, she liked the sound of that. Still it was mutually decided that Camila wouldn't be wearing the ring until they were both ready. Their engagement would strictly stay between them, that's just typical of Lauren and Camila though. They were a couple who liked to keep their privacy, they weren't the type to go and flaunt their relationship. But it didn't stop their kisses and long hugs in public, they weren't that lowkey. "Camz stop staring at me." Lauren mumbled in a sleepy voice and a blush made its way to Camila's cheeks. "I can't help it, you're so beautiful when you sleep. No, scratch that, you're so beautiful all the time. So forgive me if I want to stare at my perfect fiancé." Lauren grinned at Camila "Wow..I love hearing you say that." Camila giggled "Well, you are perfect Lauren." Lauren huffed "No I'm not, I'm average at best. I was referring to you calling me your fiancé." Camila frowned in spite of Lauren's words. "I think you are, you're so perfect to me. Why can't you see what I see?" Lauren lowered her eyes, breaking eye contact with Camila. "Baby please look at me." She stroked her hair out of her face, she bit her lip and was still when some of it came out on her hands. Lauren's eyes widened and she gulped heavily. "Laur it's not that bad. Just a little, the doctor said it would happen.." Camila tried to be comforting but Lauren's bottom lip was already trembling "But he said it would be gradual, I'm not ready." Her voice shook, Camila sighed and opened her arms. "You'd never have been ready for it babe, it's just one of those things." Lauren began to raise her voice at that statement. "Having cancer is not one of those things, Camila. That's fucked up and you know it!" Camila bit her lip as her eyes filled with tears, she had kind of expected the outburst. But she didn't like it when Lauren shouted at her, the two never shouted at each other but if they ever did, it triggered her anxiety. "Babe, no no I'm sorry, come here I'm sorry I didn't mean to shout like that." Lauren quickly brought Camila into her arms. "Please don't cry baby I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to." Camila sniffled and just gave up trying to hold back her sobs. Shouting always brought back the terrible memories for her, but she knew Lauren didn't mean for that to happen. Lauren squeezed Camila in the hug and held her tightly. "They hurt me Laur, it hurts to remember." Camila sobbed, it broke Lauren's heart when Camila was crying. She hated it just as much, if not more than Camila, and that was a hell of a lot. "I know Camz, but you're safe. I won't let anything hurt you." Camila nodded and simply buried her head deep in Lauren's neck, she was focused on her escaping the outside world. When she was in Lauren's arms, she was home, it was as if they were in their own little world, with just them and nobody else. As much as she wished it were better circumstances and she wasn't the one who caused Camila to cry, holding the girl in her arms was one of Lauren's most favourite things in the world. She was so perfect, and Camila thought Lauren was perfect but the green eyed beauty could never seem to understand why. Lauren didn't think so highly of herself as others seemed to do, like family and friends. "Lauren?" Camila spoke in a softer voice "Yeah Camzi?" Lauren whispered in a small voice, she rested her chin on Camila's head as a way to show she was listening and still awake. "I love you, and even when it all falls out I'll still be here, reminding you of how perfect you really are." Camila promised as she wiped at her eyes and composed herself. She didn't pull out of Lauren's hold, but she just positioned herself to be able to see her. "I love you too.." was all Lauren could seem to get out after a brief hesitation. Camila wished Lauren saw the good in herself that everyone else did, she wished she would rebuild her confidence again. Camila vowed to help her with that, especially now, the events to come would surely take a harsh toll on her self confidence and self esteem. Lauren shuffled closer to Camila, moving into her body; she was practically forcing Camila to hold her. She didn't need to though. "You want me to hold you?" Camila asked gently, Lauren gave a small nod without words being spoken. Camila easily wrapped her arms around Lauren and let her hide her face in her neck. Lauren didn't like to be seen when she was crying or about to, and Camila already knew this was coming. Camila knew it was going to be very tough on Lauren, she loved her green eyes first and foremost, but her hair was also very important to her. Lauren let out her first muffled sob and clutched onto Camila top desperately. Camila wanted to take Lauren's pain away, but there was nothing she could do, she had to leave it to the doctors to do that. "This date really turned to shit tonight, didn't it?" Lauren mumbled "No Laur, it was perfect. It is perfect, if you need to cry then you go ahead, I love holding you in whatever way it is." Camila said, Lauren kissed Camila's neck before she lifted her head up. Lauren's green eyes were red and puffy from crying, but Camila still thought that she looked breathtaking. "You know, you really are something Camz, I love you." Camila smiled uncontrollably just at seeing her face. "I love you too Lauren." Camila giggled. Lauren connected their lips in a suggestive kiss, Lauren's lips were still trembling though. "Lauren, you don't have to do this baby." Camila urged trying to pull away but Lauren refused to let her. "I want to Camz." Lauren croaked. "No, you just want to escape what you're feeling. You can't run away from this Lauren, it's real." Camila cupped Lauren's face in her hands forcing her back. "Camila don't, please, I don't want to feel right now." Lauren begged her fiancé "You'll have to accept it now Lauren, your hair is going to fall out, and you're going to get sick. You're going to struggle, and I'm going to be here. So for God's sake let yourself feel because you have to do it sooner or later." Lauren shook her head wildly and covered her face with her hands. "Don't-" Camila ignored her "You-" Lauren became desperate now as she refused to listen to her "No just don't say it Camila!" Camila raised her voice over Lauren's mumbling to herself to drown out Camila's voice. "YOU HAVE CANCER LAUREN!" Lauren glared at her with glassy eyes. "...and you have to accept that babe." Camila whispered. "I don't have to stay and listen to this shit. Fuck this." Lauren stood up and went to unzip the tent's entrance. Camila got up and followed her. "Lauren you can't run away from this!" But Lauren did, she ran so fast and so far she ended up in the middle of the woods. Camila was nowhere in sight, she couldn't hear her screaming her name anymore, nothing was in sight except for a load of trees, and there was no sound filling the air. Lauren was all alone, and she felt it too.