Temporary {Camren}

Chapter 30

Lauren was exhausted in every sense of the word. Camila and Dinah were just in front of her animatedly chatting, it hadn't crossed their minds Lauren was trying to actually get a couple hours of sleep in with her painful headache. But right now, Lauren wasn't feeling very sure about which headache was worse, the one from the chemo or the two girls in front of her. She never thought there would be a time where her wife actually annoyed her, but today was proving her wrong. "Can you both shut up?" Lauren groaned as she turned over lazily. "Are you okay Lo?" Camila asked worriedly. "No! Ow-" her face contorted into one of pain making Camila nearly leap out of her seat to help until Lauren held her out in protest. "I'm exhausted, and my head is hurting more than either of you could imagine, so for the love of God, please just be quiet for a bit, or go in another room and talk, but I just need to sleep for a while, okay?" Camila and Dinah looked at each other and nodded to Lauren. "Sorry Lauren, do you need anything.. some medicine maybe?" Camila asked hesitantly. "No, that's okay. Just go, both of you, that's all I want right now." Camila was hurt to be honest, so she just rose from the seat, with Dinah following and the door was shut behind them, leaving Lauren alone. Lauren did fall asleep, and when she woke up she had only slept for an hour, but she felt better. Her headache was finally gone, so she decided to go and find the girls. Camila turned her head when she had heard Lauren coming and looked at her with a sad expression before turning back to Dinah. Lauren shrugged it off and leant forward onto Dinah's back as she desperately tried to engage herself in their little conversation after being ignored completely by Camila. Dinah leant back so Lauren had no choice but to get off and Lauren stumbled back, only just steadying herself. "I'm sorry." Lauren tried but she was ignored again. Lauren frowned and sat in Camila's lap, she had to look at her now. "Caaaamz, come on, look at me." Dinah tugged on her arm. "Lauren, not now." But the girl ignored her best friend. "I said I'm sorry." Lauren pouted as she tickled underneath her chin, and then she felt it, the wetness of tears. "Camz?" When Camila turned her head, Lauren could feel her heart deflate. "Baby, what's the matter?" Lauren asked as she wrapped her arms loosely around her neck. But Camila couldn't speak, she had nothing but a black expression and tears rolling down her cheeks. "Dinah? Do you have any idea what's happened to Camila?" Lauren asked and Dinah nodded. "Her father didn't come to the wedding for a reason." Camila dropped her head and leant it on Lauren's shoulder, Lauren didn't make a move just yet though, she knew Camila. "Why?" Lauren asked as she waited nervously. "He's dead." The Polynesian muttered awkwardly, the green eyed girl hadn't expected that of all things. Lauren's eyes grew wide and she turned back to Camila in an instant to look at her. "Camz.." Lauren gasped softly, wrapping her arms around her slim frame. Camila forced herself to wrap her arms around Lauren's waist tightly, returning the girl's hug. "How?" Lauren asked, her voice low from the shock. "He had a heart attack." Dinah sighed as she rubbed Camila's arm. "Oh my god." Lauren breathed and looked at her wife who still hasn't said a word. "Camila..come on, please say something." Lauren sighed as tears brimmed in her eyes. It was torture seeing her so closed off, it had happened before, but definitely not often. But Camila didn't say a word, not even when Dinah left, and Lauren was still holding the girl, who's lap she was still in; Camila said nothing. Lauren timed it to have been three hours since and Lauren was growing increasingly worried for her wife. "Do you want to eat something yet babe?" Lauren asked, suddenly breaking the silence. Camila shook her head. "Not even pizza?" The Cuban shook her head again. "So you don't want anything? Anything at all?" Camila pulled Lauren closer to her and nuzzled her head further into her neck. "You do want me to hold you." Lauren noticed and Camila nodded weakly. "I can do that." Lauren agreed and kissed her temple. But she wished she could do more. "You have to eat soon though, promise me you will." Camila nodded weakly and tightened her hold on her wife for security. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere, I wouldn't do that to you." Lauren mumbled as she stroked her fingers through Camila's hair. Camila wasn't crying, she was quiet, but she was hurting, and Lauren knew that. "I love you." Lauren mumbled more of a question, to test if she would say it back but Camila was stubbornly smart in her silence. Since Lauren was wearing a crop top, Camila traced an I, a heart, and then a U, on her wife's back as a response. "Oh Mila.." Lauren mumbled as she also buried her head in her wife's neck. "You're so stubborn, you're cute, but mainly stubborn." Camila aimlessly traced light patterns on her back. It was relaxing for both of the girls, Camila was upset, but she also wanted to feel like she was giving back. Lauren was probably still feeling awful too from the chemo but she didn't want to show it. That's the kind of person Lauren was, selfless. Camila wanted to relax her as well. Lauren placed a soft, innocent kids on her neck since Camila refused to look at her, and it hurt her heart that while Camila would usually smile at the act, this time she didn't. "Todo va a estar bien, estoy aquí para ti." Camila shook her head at Lauren's words. "No, no it won't be okay, don't fucking lie to me." She croaked. "Camila, I'm trying baby, I don't know what to say to you." Lauren sighed. "I know, I'm sorry Lolo, it just..I shouldn't feel so hurt? Is that what this is? I shouldn't feel like this after all he did to me.." "You don't have to know what you feel, grief doesn't make any sense. Don't be sorry, you've got nothing to be sorry for." Camila sighed and looked at Lauren with the saddest puppy dog eyes she's seen from her in all the three years she'd known her. "Are you okay baby?" Lauren asked as she stroked the hair out of her face, behind her ear. "I will be." Camila smiled for a second. "It's just a shock. I didn't think it would happen this soon." Lauren smiled sympathetically, she was in Camila's position before with her grandmother, except Lauren was very close with her and her death hit her like a ton of bricks and then twenty buses. Dinah could tell you, Lauren didn't leave her room for weeks, her house for months, and she missed a shit ton of school attendance wise, but somehow still graduated with perfect scores in all of her subjects. "Do you want anything to eat? I can make you something?" Lauren offered. "What? Toast?" Camila smirked. "Very funny, hey, I've cooked us spaghetti before and you loved it." "Actually it was too salty." "What?" "I was being nice." Camila chuckled but Lauren pouted and got up from her lap, unusually hurt by the comment. "Fine." Camila frowned. "Babe I didn't mean it, it was great, I was messing with you." "No you weren't." Lauren huffed as she turned around. Camila jumped onto her back but Lauren didn't react in the slightest so Camila slid down in defeat. "Come on Lolo, I was honestly kidding around." Camila said as she turned her around to look at her. "Are you okay?" Camila frowned, Lauren looked like she would faint at any second, and she did. When Lauren woke up just minutes later, she was reluctant to even open her eyes. "Lauren?" Camila asked as she knelt over her. "Sorry." Lauren mumbled making Camila frown. "Don't be stupid. Come on, get up." Lauren groaned. "Nooo, I don't wanna." Camila giggled and lifted her into her arms instead. "Kiss." Lauren demanded sweetly, Camila pecked her lips and smiled. "Better?" "Much better, what about you?" Camila smiled and nodded to her wife as she put her down on the couch. "Me too." Lauren patted her lap and Camila obediently crawled into it. "How do you feel about us going over to Ally's for the night?" Camila grinned and nodded excitedly. "Does she have her glorious food over there?" Lauren laughed at Camila's question. "She's Ally, when does she not bake? Right, you hop in the shower and I'll let her know we're coming." "Aren't you coming with me?" Camila raised an eyebrow. "I had one earlier." Lauren politely declined. Ally texted back that she couldn't wait to see them and that Dinah and Normani were there too. "Of course they are." Camila chuckled. "Be quick." Lauren said as she went outside to the garden while Camila went to take a shower. It was peaceful watching the sun set, Lauren didn't know how long she was sat there staring into the sky, thinking about everything until Camila sat in her lap fully ready to leave. "Are you alright?" Camila frowned. Lauren snapped out of it and nearly jumped when she realised Camila was right in her face. "What?" Camila gently kissed Lauren's nose. "Are you ready to go yet babe?" Lauren nodded quietly and then motioned for Camila to get off her lap. The drive was silent, even when Lauren and Camila got to Ally's, Lauren hadn't said a word. "You helped me today, can I do the same already? Come on, what's the matter?" Camila tried as she linked their hands. Lauren sighed and leant her head on her shoulder as they stared at the door. "I'm just tired." Camila knew it was more than that, but she figured Lauren needed some time. "Tell me when you're ready." Camila settled on saying before she knocked on the door for Ally to let them in. Ally pulled the girls into a hug and smiled widely. "The girls are in the kitchen eating my brownies, help yourselves." Ally said as they went inside. "YAY BROWNIES!!" Camila shouted out excitedly, releasing Lauren's hand. Lauren let it dangle loosely as she leant onto Dinah's back behind her until she turned around. "Hey Lauren." She smiled before she noticed her mood. "Cuddle?" She offered and Lauren nodded as she wrapped her arms around her. "How's Mila?" Dinah asked. "Better, we talked it out and I think it's just taking its time to hit her now." Lauren said, and Dinah nodded in agreement. "Probably. But for now she looks happy enough." "Of course she's happy, she's shoving Ally's chocolate brownies down her throat. Who wouldn't be happy?" Lauren said with a smile. "That's all I want for her, I just want Camila to be happy." Dinah pouted at Lauren's words. "She is, she's very happy." Lauren hummed and went to get herself some water, with Dinah following her out. "Are you spending the night here with us?" Dinah nodded. "Mani is too, Ally even got drinks in." Lauren grinned and then looked over at Camila. "Don't let her take it too far in the grief, I don't want her to make the same mistakes you did." Dinah warned and Lauren gulped. "Right. Don't worry I'll watch her." She downed the water and the pair joined the trio in the living room. "Hey baby." Normani grinned as she pulled Dinah down into the couch with her, kissing Dinah in greeting. "Hi Mans." Dinah smiled like an idiot. "Hey baby." Camila mocked them, pulling Lauren into her lap. "Hi Camz." Lauren smirked as she did the same. "Shut up! We weren't mocking you guys at your wedding!" Normani pointed out. "Fair enough." Camila nodded. "Alz can we order pizzas?" Camila pouted and Ally laughed. "Yeah Mila, if you all want to." Lauren tackled Ally to the floor in a hug making the girl gasp in shock and wrap her arms around the girl for safety. Ally stared up at Lauren in pure shock while Lauren grinned down at Ally. "Did I scare you?" "Just a little!" Ally breathed as she rolled her eyes. "Sorry, I didn't get to hug you properly, so this is my hello." "Hello Lauren." Ally smirked. "Hello Ally." "Oh get up, you weirdos." Normani pulled Lauren off Ally, now laughing. "I wasn't done Mani!" Lauren pouted as she pulled Ally into another hug. "You're in a clingy mood today aren't you?" Ally observed "No, I just missed you." "I missed you too." Ally pouted and kissed Lauren's cheek. "Have you seen Camila?" Lauren asked as she let go of Ally but held onto her hand. "In the kitchen with Dinah, Lo." "Okay, thanks. C'mon Alz." Lauren tugged on her hand. "I guess I'm going too." Ally chuckled as she had to follow Lauren out. "Camz?" Lauren called and Camila turned her head. "What's up?" "Whatcha doing?" "Talking with Dinah, what're you doing?" "I have an Allycat." Lauren raised their hands. "Sorry about Lauren, she's in a weird mood." Camila laughed. "I'm not, I'm just appreciative, okay?" Lauren stuck her tongue out at her wife. "It's weird to think you guys are married, since you're so young and all." Ally hummed. "Well we had our reasons." Camila said as she shifted in her place awkwardly. Lauren rested her chin on Camila's shoulder from behind, kissed her jaw and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "We came here to have a good time, and that's what we're going to do. So no more sad talk guys, agreed?" Everyone agreed and grabbed a drink each. "Hey Camz, can I just talk to you for a minute?" Camila gave her wife a puzzled look before she followed her out of the room. "What is it?" "Look I know you say you're okay, but I know how easy it can be for someone to fall into grief's trap..promise me you won't drink too much tonight, please baby." Camila pouted and kissed her before leaning back with a reassuring smile. "I promise, thank you for thinking of me." "I always do, come on. " Lauren giggled as she happily pulled Camila back into the room where the rest of the girls sat. Dinah caught Lauren's eye and Lauren nodded to say she's spoken to her. "So, Netflix?" Normani asked as she sipped on her drink, sitting on Dinah's lap. "I guess so, I'm down for that." Camila nodded and the rest of the girls nodded in agreement. They were about halfway through the horror movie 'Annabel' when the doorbell rang, making them all jump. "Damn, I'll get it." Dinah said breathlessly as she grabbed the money off the counter and opened the door to get their pizzas. "Thank you." She said as she took the food from him, kicked the door shut and yelled, "PIZZA!!" Of course Camila was the first one out of them all. "Mila slow down girl, it's not going anywhere." Normani laughed. "I am extremely hungry right now, so you can shut up Mani." Lauren raised her eyebrows and patted her friend's back. "Ooh, that told you." "Control your wife Lauren. She's being mean to me." "Nah I can't tame her for all I've tried, sorry mama. You've just gotta put up with it." "Geez, I don't know how you married this fool." Dinah joked, Camila looked up and frowned. She was staring down at her plate as the world seemed to go in slow motion. Her father's taunting words and put downs replaying in her head, and then she swore she could hear Lauren's voice. "Babe, hey Camz?" Camila's head shot up with tears in her eyes. "Come with me." Lauren sighed and lead her into Ally's bathroom, she dried Camila's eyes and stared at her wife worriedly. "So do you wanna tell me what happened back there?" Camila shrugged and looked at the floor. "Can I hug you instead?" Lauren answered her question by simply pulling her into her arms. "Whatever did happen to you then, tell me whenever you feel ready." Camila nodded into Lauren's shoulder and sniffled. "Don't cry babygirl." "He's gone and he can still get to me." Camila groaned. "Don't let him, you're strong." Lauren reminded her. "I've got you, of course I am." Camila smiled, Lauren pressed a kiss to her forehead and held her hand. "Let's get back to the girls, if you decide you want to go home, then tell me. I don't mind." Camila nodded but she knew that she wouldn't. Plus, she knew Lauren really missed Ally. "Is everything okay guys?" Normani asked and Camila nodded. "Yeah Mani, just play the film now." Normani nodded, pressing play while Camila and Lauren sat down together. Camila nuzzled her head in her chest and sighed. "Sleep. I know you want to." Lauren whispered to Camila as she started gently stroking her fingers through her head. "Thanks Lauren." Camila mumbled, and she fell asleep just as she finished her words.