Temporary {Camren}

Chapter 41

"Ugh Lauren come on, I said I didn't want anything." Camila whined when she saw the pizza box. "I don't care, you're eating it. You've gone too long without food Camz, and I sure as hell am not gonna sit here and watch you starve." "Wait," Camila paused as she gently turned Lauren's cheek. "Did someone hurt you? Your cheek is red." Lauren smiled sadly. "Alexa, I saw her at Mario's when I was getting our pizza. Anyway, she knows damn well now not to mess with me, eat your pizza." "Lolo please, I really don't want any." Camila said in a small voice. Lauren sighed to herself and put the pizza box down, her wife watching her anxiously. Lauren sat next to her and leaned her head on her shoulder. "What's the matter babygirl?" Camila watched as Lauren intertwined their fingers and stroked her thumb so gently she felt a tingle. "I'm just, I don't know, I'm just not hungry." The Cuban mumbled, looking down at their hands. "You should be, are you sure? Try a bite and you might be, don't you remember me after my first round of chemo? One bite and I was sold, half the pizza was gone in a few minutes." Lauren nudged her but Camila refused to look at her. "No thanks, I'm fine." Lauren groaned. "You're not fine! Camz c'mon babe, I'm eating with you. It's not like I'm asking you to eat the whole pizza by yourself." Lauren took a slice and held it up to her mouth. Camila crossed her arms and pressed her lips together. "Mm mm." Lauren smirked and tickled her tummy until Camila had opened her mouth to laugh and before the Cuban realised it, she'd taken a bite. Camila gulped and scowled at her wife. "Fuck you Lauren!" Lauren's eyes widened. "What did I do wrong?" Her bottom lip wobbled. The Cuban instantly felt bad. "No I'm sorry, don't cry baby, please, I'm so sorry mí amor." Camila stroked her hair out of her face and caressed her cheek. "Why won't you eat anything Camzi?" Lauren sniffled. "You're scaring me." Camila gently ran her fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head. "I never meant to scare you." Camila mumbled. "Talk to me then, tell me what's going on with you." Lauren pleaded. Camila took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "D-Do you think I'm fat?" Lauren's jaw dropped in shock. "No! No way Camila. Open your eyes and look at me baby." Camila took a deep breath in, opened them slowly and exposed her red eyes to her wife. "Don't cry, listen, you are not fat. You're absolutely perfect. Your body is healthy and amazing, and baby I do not ever, ever want you to doubt that, not even for a second." Camila sniffled, playing with Lauren's fingers but keeping her eyes on Lauren. "I love you so much Camzi, I love you for you babygirl, forever and always." Camila choked out a sob and Lauren wrapped her arms around her tightly. "Shh," "No-" "Sh sh shh it's okay, it's okay Camila, I've got you." Camila whined into her shoulder as she coughed out another cry. "Let it out mi princesa, I'm right here." Lauren lifted Camila onto her lap and Camila wrapped her whole small body around Lauren's, properly burying her head in her neck. Lauren moved her hand up to stroke Camila's hair and hold her waist tightly with one arm. "I love you." Camila croaked in between her tears. "I love you more baby." Lauren guessed they would be there a while and shuffled back so they were against the headboard, which was velvet anyway so it was comfortable to sit by for a few hours. "Don't go Lolo." Camila whimpered. "I'm not going anywhere." Lauren whispered in her ear as she buried her face in Camila's hair. Camila was crying more than she had seen in a while, but thinking about it, Normani had probably witnessed it more than her lately. Camila squeezed Lauren's body tightly, seemingly in need of further comfort so Lauren mirrored the action. "I'm here babe, I won't leave you." "P-P-promise?" "Babe of course I promise." Lauren sighed into her hair. How did it get like this? "Deseo que usted podría ver cómo perfecto tu está." Lauren mumbled. "Estoy repugnante." Camila cried. "No eres mama. No decir mentiras acerca ti mi amor." "Detenerlo, Lauren." "Eres tan hermosa. Y no voy a descansar hasta que realmente cree que eso princesa." "Yo no te merezco." Camila whispered brokenly. "You do deserve me, don't be silly." Lauren moved her neck slightly so Camila was more comfortable. "Lauren?" "Hm?" "C-can I tell you something?" "Si mama, anything." Camila took a deep breath with more tears falling against Lauren's neck as she spoke in a cracking voice. "Últimamente me hubiera gustado que estaba muerto." Lauren's green eyes pooled with tears at the thought of her wife laying in a coffin. "¿Ahora?" Camila was silent before she let out a weak cry and Lauren knew the answer. "No. No, no, no, babygirl. Never ever think or say that, never say you want to die again, do you hear me?" "Me duele el corazón. Estoy tan cansado." Camila sniffled, sweetly nuzzling her head into Lauren's neck. "Try to relax Camz, hará tal vez ayudar si te canto?" Camila nodded and closed her eyes. "Please." Lauren already knew what she wanted to sing. "When you try your best, but you don't succeed...When you get what you want, but not what you need...When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep..Stuck in reverse.." Camila whimpered and tightened her hold on Lauren who rubbed her back gently to soothe her. The next line felt more than ironic. "And the tears come streaming down your face..When you lose something you can't replace..When you love someone, but it goes to waste..Could it be worse?" Lauren kissed her wife's shoulder lightly to relax her tense muscles. "Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones..And I will try, to fix you.." Camila was breathing very shakily but Lauren could feel her slowly calming down. "And high up above or down below..When you're too in love to let it go..But if you never try, you'll never know..Just what you're worth." Camila thought Lauren couldn't hear her whisper "Nothing." but she did, and it broke her heart. "Lights will guide you home..and ignite your bones...and I will try, to fix you. Tears stream, down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace. Tears stream, down your face and I...Tears stream, down your face, I promise you I will learn from my mistakes. Tears stream, down your face and I..." Lauren moved so her lips were right next to Camila's ear. "Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try, to fix you." "C-can you sing more?" Lauren smiled softly. "Is it helping?" Camila nodded and kissed her neck sweetly. "I can then." Camila closed her eyes and listened for the next song, tears falling silently. "If I don't say this now I will surely break, as I'm leaving the one I want to take." Camila whimpered at the thought so Lauren squeezed her in their hug. "Forget the urgency, but hurry up and wait. My heart has started to, separate. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Be my baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Be my baby. I'll look after you. There now, steady love, so few come and don't go. Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know? When I'm losing my control, the city spins around. You're the only one who knows, you slow it down." Camila smiled for a second so Lauren relaxed a little. "Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh. Be my baby. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Be my baby. I'll look after you, and I'll look after you. If ever there was a doubt. My love she leans into me. This most assuredly counts. She says most assuredly, oh. oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Be my baby. I'll look after you, after you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Be my baby. Oh, oh, oh. It's always have and never hold, and you've begun to feel like home." "Your arms are my home." Camila mumbled and Lauren gently stroked the bottom of her back under her top. "What's mine is yours to leave or take. What's mine is yours to make your own. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Be my baby. Oh, oh, oh..Oh, oh, oh..Oh, oh, oh. Be my baby..Oh, oh, oh..Oh, oh, oh..Oh, oh, oh..Be my baby..Oh, oh, oh." "I'm so in love with you." Camila whispered, moving her head out of her neck to look at her wife. Lauren stroked the tears off Camila's cheeks. "I'm so in love with you..You're my baby." Lauren said in reference to the last song. "One more?" Camila asked her hesitantly, Lauren nodded, so Camila settled her head on Lauren's chest and listened to her heartbeat to relax her. "I'm gonna put the instrumental on for this one." Lauren said, going to reach out for her phone but Camila didn't want her to let go even in the slightest, so she got it for her. Lauren kissed her temple and went through her music to find it. "Got it." She smiled and pressed play. "I got a plane in the middle of the night, don't you mind. I nearly killed somebody, don't you mind, don't you mind? I gave you something you can never give back, don't you mind? You see my face like a heart attack, don't you mind don't you mind? I was late, but I arrived. I'm sorry but I'd rather be getting high than watching my family die. Exaggerate, and you and I. Oh I think I did something terrible to your body, don't you mind? I put your mother through hell, don't you mind? I hurt your brother as well, don't you mind, don't you mind?" Lauren took a deep breath at the next line. "Oh I was thinking 'bout killing myself, don't you mind?" She felt Camila squeeze her protectively. "I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind? I put your mother through hell, don't you mind? I hurt your brother as well, don't you mind, don't you mind? Oh I was thinking 'bout killing myself, don't you mind?" Lauren felt Camila stroking her back and sighed contently. "I love you, don't you mind, don't you mind?" "Not at all." Camila whispered before she fell asleep. Lauren smiled and carefully got them both into a laying down position, holding Camila protectively. "Te amo mí princesa." She whispered, pressing a light kiss to her forehead. Lauren gently and slowly pulled the duvet over them and watched Camila. She looked peaceful for the first time in the last couple of hours, and Lauren was relieved to say the least. Lauren gently ran her fingers across the bottom of her back, the feathery touch bringing a small smile to her wife's face in her sleep. "Sweet dreams mí amor."