Temporary {Camren}

Chapter 21

"Camila, are you going to tell me what this is really about?" Lauren asked the girl as she held an ice pack to her face that Camila had given her guiltily. "It's no excuse for what I did to you Lauren, I'm sorry." Camila sighed as she rubbed at her eyes. But Lauren wasn't going to just accept her fiancé's apology without a good reason for it. "Tell me. Camila I hate fighting with you, and especially like this." Lauren said as she gestured to her cheek. "What did you mean? You said I broke my promise, what did you mean by that?" Lauren coaxed, she had every right to be angry at her, but she knew that Camila felt guilty enough for herself. Lauren would never get it out of Camila just by yelling at her again. "I hate talking about things." Camila sat down next to Lauren slowly, she visibly relaxed when the girl didn't object. "It makes it real." Lauren held the ice pack off her cheek and touched it, gladly the swelling had gone down, so she placed it on the table. "Makes what real?" The older girl questioned, and it wasn't as reassuring as Camila would have liked. But then, what did she expect from her anyway? She did punch and scream at her for no apparent reason. "I just..I don't want you to die Lauren, I really don't want to live my life without you. You promised me you would fight this, you told me, you said that you wouldn't do that to me." Camila's voice cracked, now Lauren was starting to understand where Camila's anger stemmed from. "I'm so mad at the world! I'm so mad at everything, I'm mad at God for being so selfish and for taking the only person I love and cherish so deeply away from me. And I don't think he even needs to now, because after this you're going to run away and leave me. I don't blame you, I would." Camila refused to meet Lauren's piercing eyes as she told her how she felt. "Camila.." She trailed, the Cuban got as ready as she could for her to say it was all over between them and that she would be packing her bags and staying with Dinah, and she wanted no more to do with her. But, no. Or at least not yet. "You shouldn't have lashed out at me. You shouldn't have hit me.." She waited for the bomb to drop, Lauren's voice breaking her fragile heart as she spoke. It was so soft, so tender, almost too tender for a break up. "But I can see why it happened." Camila felt Lauren place a hand over hers, the action made Camila feel brave enough to meet her for-now fiancé's eyes. And she was glad she did, because they weren't icy cold, or even fiery angry like Camila thought they would be. They were so warm and so full of love that Camila was almost convinced it was all a dream. As if she was staring into Lauren's green eyes and it was all just a fantasy in her head; if only. Her insecurities crept in as she whispered in such a small voice Lauren barely heard it. "Are you going to break up with me now?" Lauren let go of her hand, and Camila knew. She let out a sob and put her head into her arms on the table. Until Lauren picked her up and held her. "You may have fucked up Camz," Camz. She said Camz. "But I'm not leaving you." Lauren mumbled as she leant back and moved the hair out of Camila's face delicately. "I love you Laur." Camila choked out, Lauren smiled gently and pressed a light kiss to her forehead. "I know." But something was bothering Camila, she didn't say it back. "Do you still love me, after what I did?" Camila whimpered, because she had to know. Lauren stroked her cheek affectionately. "Something so obvious doesn't need saying." Camila breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "You're shaking baby." Lauren observed, worry evident in her tone. "I'm just so sorry for what I did, I'm overwhelmed. I'm still scared you'll change your mind and leave me Lolo, and I just can't lose you." Camila admitted between cries. "Shh no, baby you won't lose me." Lauren wiped her tears away and pulled Camila into a tight hug. As she rested her chin on her head, Lauren ran her fingers through Camila's hair. "I'll never leave you, not until I absolutely have to babe." Camila whimpered in her arms. Camila fisted Lauren's shirt desperately, as if she still wasn't convinced Lauren wasn't going to walk out the door only a metre away from them. "Don't cry Camzi, please." Lauren whispered, as she squeezed her in the hug. "Will you still marry me?" Camila asked into her shoulder. "Duh," Lauren said obviously, knowing that it would make her nervous fiancé laugh. But it didn't this time, Lauren guessed she was too built up with anxiety for laughter. "Look, there's no one else that I would ever want to spend the rest of my life with, okay? I'm serious. No one can compare to you, nobody." Lauren's words made Camila's cheeks heat up in both embarrassment and love, nuzzling her head in her neck she apologised for the millionth time. "But I'm so sorry for tonight Lauren. Babe I'm really so, so so sorry." Camila whispered shakily. It didn't matter how many times Camila apologised, since Lauren had obviously forgiven her now. "No don't keep going over it in your head Camila, because I know you are. Forget about it and move on, I forgive you. Just please never do it again, you need to talk to me when you feel bad. That's what I'm here for babe, I'm here for you." Lauren kissed the top of her head and pulled back to look at her fiancé adoringly. Camila waited for her to say something but she held out her pinky, Camila's heart melted. This was an old promise method they used to have a while back. The gesture may have seemed childish, but what Lauren was doing showed how serious she was in actuality. Camila linked their pinkies and they kissed their hands before they wrapped each other into another hug. "Let's to go bed." Lauren yawned as she picked Camila up. Camila watched her concentrating as she carried her up the stairs, her eyebrows were furrowed and her green eyes were increasingly darker as she grew more tired. Camila was still now and forever convinced her jawline was chiseled by the Lord himself. But she stopped and inhaled sharply at the small cut on Lauren's cheek, the injury she had caused. Lauren laid her on the bed and noticed her discomfort. "Stop beating yourself up Camila." "I'm not, I beat you up." She retorted miserably. Lauren sighed and knelt down beside the bed, in front of Camila. "Now listen to me, nothing is going to make this go away any faster Camz. Not you blaming yourself for feeling, not me for pushing you to tell me when you quite obviously weren't ready to talk about it. So what would make this better in your pretty little head? Do you want me to punch you back? Is that what that little voice stuck in the back of your head is asking you for? You want me to hit you back?" Lauren asked surely, she knew Camila by now to know that would be the way her mind worked. Camila nodded and squeezed her eyes shut for the impact. She felt Lauren's hand on her cheek but it was a gentle touch. Lauren stroked it and smiled sadly. "Open your eyes, I'm not going to hurt you Camz, I wouldn't do that to you babe, not ever." Camila slowly opened them and frowned. "And I know that you didn't mean to either." Camila shook her head as her bottom lip wobbled, "No you have to hit me! I need to make this right!" Lauren was surprised at Camila's outburst. "No I'm not gonna hit you!" She refused. Before she knew it Camila was hitting herself so hard she had to restrain her and get on top of her trembling body. "Camz, hey, calm down and look at me baby. Look at me." Lauren said in a firm but loving voice. "Don't hurt yourself. That won't make things even. Please honey, it won't make anything better, I think deep down you know it." Camila's eyes overflowed with tears. "It has to. I have to fix it, I have to fix everything." She whimpered. "Please let go." Camila pleaded. "Promise me you won't try to hurt yourself again Camz." Lauren said with worry in her eyes. "Okay." Camila sniffled and Lauren let go, wrapping up Camila in her arms. Camila buried her head in Lauren's chest as she cried into her body as Lauren cradled her close. "I love you to the moon and back Camila. Always, whatever happens, and I know whatever this was tonight, it won't ever happen again." Lauren spoke right into Camila's ear so that she could definitely hear her, before she lowered her voice to a warm whisper. "You're gonna be okay, okay? I'm gonna look after you." Camila sniffled and nodded as she held onto Lauren for dear life. Lauren held Camila tighter with one arm while she pulled the duvet over them both. "I love you too." Camila whispered before she let Lauren fall asleep. "Come here babe, look at me." Lauren spoke in a sleepy voice that made Camila shiver. "We're okay." Lauren promised. Camila was hesitant at first but she nodded. "We're okay." She repeated to herself, Lauren smiled and leaned in to kiss her. When Camila smiled sadly into the kiss she cupped Lauren's face and smoothed the pad of her thumb over the cut. Lauren held her hand up to hold Camila's and moved it, she didn't say anything else on the matter. "Goodnight Camz." She kissed the top of her forehead as they cuddled up together. "Goodnight Lolo." When Lauren woke up in the morning, it was to the sound of clattering dishes and laughter downstairs. Camila was still sleeping so she carefully released her grip on Camila and went down to her friends. "Good morning, Lauren." Ally smiled when she saw her, "Did we wake you?" Normani asked worriedly, Lauren shrugged. "Yeah, but I felt like coming down anyway, are you making breakfast?" Dinah nodded. "Can I help you?" Ally nodded eagerly. "Please!" Lauren giggled and helped Ally make the pancake mixture. "Hey lovebirds, you think you could stop kissing for a second and start on the berries?" Ally asked making Lauren laugh. "Aw leave 'em Ally, they're cute." Normani stuck her tongue out at Ally, earning a smack over the back of the head from Dinah. "Don't make fun of my widdo Smalls." Normani pouted and apologised to the small girl. "Camila and I used to be like that." Lauren said as she watched the pair. The room was filled with silence, and everyone's gaze was directed over at Lauren. "Did you sort it out?" Dinah asked first, "She hates herself for what she did, and I know she didn't mean to do it." Lauren said. "But that doesn't make it right." Ally said sternly. "Yes I know that but she's just angry-" "Yeah and we all get angry. But we don't just go around and beat up people because we get mad." Normani rebutted. "Mani listen to her, as much as I'm pissed at Camila for hurting my best friend, she deserves Lauren to try and defend her." Dinah said, gently laying a hand on her shoulder. "Thanks Dinah, Camila didn't mean to hurt me last night. Camila was just scared, upset and mad because I'm dying. You all know Camila's not really the best at expressing herself like she's meant to." Lauren said quietly, the girls nodded in agreement. "I'm still mad at her." Dinah admitted. "Honestly, so am I." Lauren started, "But we need to get past it and move on. She feels bad as it is, and I for one don't want to make her feel worse." Normani looked Lauren in the eye. "Did you forgive her?" Lauren nodded but she didn't seem too happy. "Did you really forgive her?" Ally asked hesitantly. Lauren sighed, looked up at the ceiling before she spoke. "Well I do wish I could say yes, but I'm not sure." She mumbled and Dinah looked at her best friend in realisation and went over to her. "Lauren look- please don't make the connection. It's not the same thing babe." Dinah held her hands firmly on her shoulders. "It kind of is Di." Lauren mumbled, rubbing at her eyes. "I can't go through it again." She whispered, "I know Mila wouldn't hurt you again Lo. It was an unfortunate accident." Dinah smoothed the hair out of Lauren's face. "What are we missing here?" Normani raised her hand making Ally hold back a laugh. "Can I tell them?" Dinah asked and Lauren nodded. "Before Camila, Lo was in an abusive relationship. She was beaten up almost everyday, every time she came over; she had a new bruise on her body." Lauren closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, leaning her head on Dinah's chest for comfort, memories hitting her one by one like buses. "Oh my god." Normani spoke up hoarsely in shock. "Does Camila know about that?" Ally asked curiously, Dinah shrugged in response. "Hmm I don't know, did you tell her?" Lauren shook her head as she grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl. "Ally look the pancakes will burn if you don't flip them now." Lauren said with a small laugh as Ally turned around in a panic to flip the first three. "So who's going to wake Camila up then?" Dinah asked. "Mani, can you?" Lauren asked making everyone look at her. "I need to process what happened, I'm just going to eat breakfast with you guys and head home to see my family today." Normani kissed her cheek and went upstairs to wake Camila up. "Mila, time to get up." She cooed but Camila failed to stir from her slumber. Normani groaned, okay, old tactic it was. "PIZZA!!" Camila shot up. "WHERE?" Normani laughed. "I'm sorry, there isn't any. That was just all I could think of to wake you up." Camila huffed and threw the covers off, a rush of cold air hitting her as she got out of bed. "Where's Lauren, is she alright?" Normani coughed and followed her. "Yeah of course, she's downstairs." "Are you getting sick Mani?" Camila worried at her friend's fake cough as a cover up. "No, my throat just tickled. I'm okay." Normani lied, and thankfully Camila seemed to buy it. "Morning." Ally said awkwardly, the room was silent as the Cuban entered the room. Even Lauren didn't look up. "Hey.." Camila slid into the chair beside Lauren. She noticed the way Lauren tensed but she relaxed a little when she met her eyes. Maybe it was just Lauren in her own world again because if Camila was the problem, she would have shown it last night. Lauren is a straight out person, she just tackles the problem and then solves it as soon as possible. "Hey." Lauren pecked her lips and Camila smiled but it was more a nervous smile than happy, because it took anyone to know that greeting was too simple for Lauren. Usually, Lauren wanted to know how you slept, or said how you were up early or late, but all she got was a hey, and a quick peck on the lips. Dinah cleared her throat and sat on Lauren's other side. "So Camila, do you want to come help me and Mani start redecorating my bedroom today?" The Polynesian offered, "I'd love to, are we okay though?" Dinah smiled and lay a gentle hand on her arm. "We're fine, I know what happened between you two wasn't intentional." Camila smiled and looked at her fiancé. "Lauren?" Lauren looked up at her name being called out. "Yes?" "Are you going to be coming to Dinah's too?" Lauren shook her head. "I figured I'd go see my family today, is that okay with you?" Camila responded by nodding immediately. "Of course it is babe." Camila was about start a new conversation with Ally and Normani on colour schemes but Lauren tugged at her arm. "Can I talk to you?" Camila nodded and got up, following Lauren out of the room. "Is everything okay?" She asked worriedly. "I don't mean to bring it up again but I have to say this in order for us both to move on, okay Camz?" Camila tensed, "Is this about last night?" Lauren thought on it, "Not exactly. But it's related." Camila sat on the bench swing and listened. "Before we got together, and this was years ago, I was stuck in an abusive relationship." Camila's eyes widened. "I brought that back, didn't I?" Lauren nodded. "You didn't mean to though, you didn't mean for it to happen. Plus you had no idea I had that problem. But I love you Camz, and I want you to know the effect it had on me. I don't think I really need to say any more." Lauren finished as she sat next to Camila. "Camz?" Lauren spoke as the girl wouldn't look at her, when she let out a sob Lauren pulled her into her body. "Camz don't, you didn't know baby, it's okay." Lauren soothed as she stroked her hair. "I'm sorry Lauren, I feel horrible!" Camila sniffled, Lauren shook her head. "Well don't. It's over, it's out and it's done. We're living in the here and now, okay? Now, I want you go and have fun with the girls and I'll see you tonight." Camila wiped her eyes and looked at Lauren with such worry in her eyes it physically hurt the green eyed girl. "Do you promise you'll come back?" Lauren grabbed her hands. "Of course I'll come back. Come here baby, I'll be back." Camila leant in and kissed Lauren so gently as if it would be their last and she was leaving. "Don't kiss me goodbye Camila, I promise you I'm not going anywhere, honestly." Lauren said knowingly and held out her pinkie. "I promise Camila." She reiterated. "I love you Lolo, I promise I'll never ever hurt you again." Camila whispered. "I know, I do and I love you too mama." Lauren kissed her forehead. Camila relaxed at the gesture and held Lauren's hand as she went inside. "Have y'all made up?" Ally asked the couple hopefully. "Yeah." Lauren smiled and pressed a kiss to her fiancé's cheek. "I'm gonna go now but I will see you all very soon." Lauren said as she hugged each girl and then kissed Camila goodbye last. "Bye Laur." "Bye Camz." Lauren waved as she went out to go to her family home. She was still in her pyjamas, but also she knew they wouldn't care. Lauren was completely sure that they would just be happy to see her. "Hey baby." Clara hugged her daughter when she opened the door. "Hi Mom." Lauren squeezed her tightly as she breathed in her scent. "It's been too long." Lauren smiled as she pulled away. "Yes it has mija, hey come inside. We're all in here." Clara guided her in. "Lauren you're here!!" Taylor screamed and jumped into Lauren's arms as soon as she had caught a glimpse of her. The older sibling giggled when she caught her, spinning her around happily. "Hey Tay." Taylor grinned widely and kissed her cheek just before her sister but her down. "How are you?" Taylor smiled. "I missed you, but I've been doing great! I have a part in my school play soon, will you come?" Lauren smiled. "I'd love to, just get me a ticket and I'll be there." Taylor grinned and went to the kitchen where their mother was calling her to help wash the dishes. Lauren jumped a little when she felt arms and a familiar playful growling in her ear. "Oh my god Chris!" Lauren laughed out breathily. "Don't do that bro you scared me!" She whined. "Sorry Laur, how are you sis?" Lauren turned around and hugged him tightly. "I'm doing okay, how are you?" Chris nodded casually. "Yeah yeah, I'm good." Lauren pulled him into another hug. "I've missed you Chris." Chris held his sister worriedly. "You haven't seen me too long ago, are you really okay?" Lauren shrugged and sighed into his shoulder. "Where'd you get that?" He asked as he noticed Lauren's cheek. "I had a little fight with Camila, but we're fine now. It was a one off accident and she said it won't happen again, and I know she meant it." But Chris' blood was boiling. "She better have come off worse." Lauren held his shoulders. "Ah down boy!" She teased. "Don't. Where's Dad?" Christ sighed and rubbed at his eyes, recollecting himself. "He's in the kitchen with Mom and Taylor." Lauren kissed his cheek and then went into the kitchen to find her father. "Dad?" She called. Mike turned around and put the washcloth on the draining board as he held out his arms for his loving eldest daughter. "Hey princess, how are you?" Lauren smiled widely. "I'm good, and you?" Mike smiled and observed his daughter proudly before turning to his wife with a playful frown. "You didn't tell me Lauren was here." Clara only smirked, "Must have slipped my mind." Lauren laughed, knowing her Mom had kept it from him to surprise him. "Dad I asked a question." Lauren reminded him. "Oh yes yes, I'm grand. How are Camila and the girls?" Lauren smiled at him. "They're all good, they're all over at Dinah's today redecorating." "Well if they need any help-" "I know, I'll send them your way." Lauren laughed. "Oh, it's good to have you home for the day Lauren." Her mother dried her hands and kissed her cheek swiftly. "Thanks mama." She smiled showing her teeth. "Why don't we all go into town today?" Mike asked generally, in a voice that all of the family could hear him speaking. A chorused murmuring of all mutual agreements sounded from them and it was settled. A family day about town was just what the family needed right then. Lauren hadn't laughed so much in a while and she missed their family moments together more than she had ever realised. "We should do this more often." Taylor said with a mouthful of pizza. "Taylor Jauregui don't talk with your mouth full." Clara scolded but she definitely had a small smile on her face. Chris swallowed before he spoke so he didn't get a verbal slap on the wrist. "It was great today with you Lauren, I had a lot of fun with you sis." The rest of the family glared at him. "What-look I see you everyday!" He defended himself. A few shrugs and nods told him he was off the hook. "Aw, I had fun too Chris." Lauren grabbed his hand and smiled. "It's nearing 7pm, back home for some family games?" Clara suggested as she waved a waiter over for the bill. "Yeah that sounds good Ma." Lauren agreed. Chris helped Taylor and Lauren up like the chivalrous gentlemen he his, then they went back home. After a movie, a few rounds of Uno and a long game of Monopoly, it was coming up to 10pm and Lauren decided to call it a night. "I really loved spending the day with you all." Lauren smiled as she hugged them all individually before heading to the door. "Aw us too, love." Clara said with a warm smile. "Hey Lauren, don't be a stranger." Taylor pointed at her sister with brown eyes meeting green. "Okay, I got it. Love you guys so much." The green eyed girl was just about to walk out before someone tugged at her arm, Chris. "If she ever hurts you again, you come to me." "Chris-" "No Lo, nobody hurts any of my family, especially not you." Lauren felt her heart warm and held out her arms for a hug. Chris held her and rested his head gently on her shoulder. "I love you, and I know she'd never do it again. But just for the sake of reassurance, I promise." Lauren said and with a kiss on his cheek she pulled away. "I love you Lauren, can I drive you back? It's dark now and I know you walked." Lauren nodded and got in the car. When Chris dropped her off home, Lauren made her way to the bathroom for a quick shower before she went to bed. When Lauren's hair was dry and she was clothed appropriately for the night, she entered the bedroom. Lauren had expected Camila to be asleep, but she was awake, now at midnight. "Did you have a good day?" Lauren smiled as she sat down heavily on the bed. She got no answer though, as Camila stared out the window. "Camz?" Camila didn't even blink. "Camila, hey what's wrong? What happened?" Camila turned her head. "I had a bad dream." Camila said as she shuffled over to Lauren. "What was it about baby?" Lauren rubbed her shoulder supportively as she wrapped one arm around her. "I don't want to talk about it." Lauren kissed her head and pouted. "Okay." Camila was silent for a few minutes before she looked up and smiled. "You came back." Lauren smiled and chuckled before she tapped her nose. "I'll always come back."