Temporary {Camren}

Chapter 12

"Camz for the last time I don't think a gay dinosaur ever existed. Surely we'd know about it if one actually did exist." Lauren insisted but Camila huffed and put both of their plates on the empty table, sitting down opposite her girlfriend. "It's been what, a million or so years since dinosaurs died, we didn't even exist back then so how would we ever know if there was a homosexual animal giant." Lauren laughed at her ramblings. "You are crazy, Cabello." She said pointing her fork at Camila to emphasise the statement before eagerly stabbing her pasta and eating happily. "Would you still love me if I wasn't?" Lauren pouted "Awh, is widdo dino girl feeling insecure?" Camila prodded at her food and refused to meet her eyes. "No, I just wondered. Would things be the same if I wasn't?" Lauren smiled and reached for her hand. "Camz you're absolutely bonkers, no doubt about it. Yes, I love it and I love the crazy, stupid adventures you've taken me on over the years. But your insanity isn't the only thing that I love about you. It wouldn't change a thing." Camila blushed and met her eyes. "Thanks." Lauren smiled gently and squeezed her hand before bringing it back to her body. Their meal was pretty quiet from then on, Lauren took it upon herself to wash up while Camila excused herself from the table and went to "lie down" as she put it. Lauren knew Camila wasn't in the best of moods after the day's events. But she saw this coming she supposed. Camila had always been one to embrace her emotions, but still hide them from the people she loved. Which was difficult when it came to Lauren, the loving and overprotective girlfriend that she was. Lauren put the last plate away before heading upstairs to check on Camila. "Camz?" Lauren knocked on the door, Camila didn't reply, at all, which did worry Lauren. So without a second thought, Lauren opened the door and found Camila sat up against the wall with her earbuds in and tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn't hear her calling obviously, it didn't even appear she had noticed Lauren come in and sit on the bed next to her. "Camz." Lauren said a bit louder making Camila wipe her eyes hurriedly and try to regain her composure. "No, no Camila you don't need to hide it from me." Lauren softly moved the hair out of her face so she could get a better look at her. "You're the one who should be in this position. Not that I like seeing you cry but I just, what right do I have?" Camila said in a soft, scared voice. "You have every one in the world, I know that it's not easy to watch someone that you love so much in pain. And I have no right to ask you to stick around for it, but you said you can and you will, still I wanna remind you that you can walk away at any time Camz. I'd never, ever blame you for it." Camila whipped her head over to the side and stared at Lauren. "You must be insane too, to think that I'd ever do such a thing as walk away from you." Lauren heavily swallowed the lump in her throat as she listened to Camila. "I love you, Lauren Jauregui and I always will. I'd never walk away from you no matter what." Lauren smiled and wiped her eyes again as the brown ones were starting to glisten again from tears. "I love you, and I know. But Camila you have to understand that you're aloud to hurt too." Camila's bottom lip began to wobble and Lauren instinctively held her close. "But I'm supposed to be the strong one." Camila whimpered as she held back her tears. "Even the strongest people cry, we're human. I can take it Camila. Cry, scream, yell, curse, hit me if it'll make you feel better. Just get it all out, and we'll say no more unless it's what you want." So as harsh as it may have seemed that's exactly what Camila did. Lauren sustained a few bruises she would feel the next day but as far as she was concerned it was all worth it for her girlfriend to get her feelings out. Even if Camila regretted it the next day, Lauren knew she would do the same thing every single day if it would help. Lauren would happily go through the worst type of pain to see Camila with a smile on her face. Eventually when the rage had died down Camila held onto her girlfriend as if she was her lifeline and cried into her neck for the entire night. No words were exchanged, they were awake until the early hours of the morning but it was silent apart from Camila's cries of despair. Lauren knew the widely famous 3 words, "I love you" wouldn't do anything for Camila, in fact there was a distinct possibility it would even make it worse. So intervals of heavy silence and cries filled the near to suffocating air while Lauren held the girl she loved; just waiting to see that smile again. But when Camila woke up in Lauren's arms again, the smile still hadn't shown. "Hey baby, you okay?.." Lauren stroked the hair out of her face gently. Camila nestled her head into Lauren's chest giving her no response, but in fact her silence was a response. Camila wasn't okay. "I'm gonna take a shower, I'll be back alright?" Lauren went to move Camila but she held on tighter and whispered words after she hadn't spoken in what had been almost 24 hours. "No. Don't leave me Lolo.." Lauren cupped her cheek and stroked it lightly. "It's okay, I'll be 10 minutes maximum." Camila clung onto Lauren like a koala bear, but for once it wasn't her being playful. "C'mon Camz." Lauren coaxed but Camila was holding on tightly. "Okay, fine. Would you rather you wait in the bathroom while I take a shower?" Camila nodded her head and got off the girls lap with a hint of hesitation. "It's alright. C'mon." Lauren held out her hand for Camila to take hold of and they went together to the bathroom. While Lauren began to strip off while the water ran warm, it was then Camila realised the hurt she had caused Lauren, she had some bad bruises and Camila felt guilty as sin. "I didn't mean to hurt you." She sniffled and Lauren turned around "It's okay Camz, really, don't worry." She smiled reassuringly and despite how untrue it was, Lauren made her believe it really was okay. But while Lauren took her shower, Camila was on edge. She felt like she needed be with Lauren at all times, sitting on her lap, laying with her. Doing anything with her, Camila didn't want to leave her side. Camila stripped down herself and got into the shower. "What are you doing in here?" Lauren raised her eyebrows but made room for her girlfriend. Camila gave a soft, anxious smile. "Missed you." She mumbled making Lauren's heart swell. "Here, I'll wash your hair." Lauren said and Camila turned around and closed her eyes focusing on the warm beads of water hitting her, Lauren's hands softly massaging the shampoo into her scalp, and her voice humming the tune to a song that she couldn't recognise in that moment. Camila opened her eyes when Lauren told her to and turned around to kiss her girlfriend. "Time to get out now Camz." Lauren said as she pushed the sliding door to the side. The girls didn't bother getting dressed into day clothes, both had just changed into their pyjama's for another day of doing nothing. They dried their hair, or more like Lauren did hers and Camila's and they crawled back into bed after Lauren changed the sheets. "Come here baby." Lauren patted the space between her legs but Camila silently gestured she wanted to sit on her lap. So Lauren did as her girlfriend wanted and crossed her legs so she could sit on her lap. "Do you want breakfast?" Lauren asked and Camila surprised her when she shook her head. "Are you sure? Did you hear my question right?" Camila nodded "I don't want anything." She whispered and Lauren sighed, resting her chin on Camila's head. "Oh Camz..this really hit you hard didn't it." If Camila didn't eat, it was really playing on her mind. But Lauren didn't push her, she could get her to eat later. Or maybe Dinah could bring something round. "Can we please just sit like this Lolo, for a bit?" Camila whispered and Lauren could physically feel her heart breaking. "For as long as you want." Lauren said, running her fingers gently through her still-warm hair from when she had just dried it. Camila finally started to semi-relax as Lauren continued her movements, she never stopped despite how much her hand started to ache from doing it. "I love you." Camila leaned up slightly to kiss Lauren's jawline tenderly. "I love you too Camz." Lauren said as her eyes grew tired and she struggled to keep them open. Camila caught on and got in a better position so they were laid down, Camila on top of Lauren's body with the covers over them, Lauren still continued to comb her fingers ever so softly through Camila's hair until she fell asleep, only then did Lauren allow herself to finally slip off into her own slumber. - Lauren sleepily opened her eyes, then she got out of bed carefully avoiding Camila's body which was half on top of her. Her green eyes squinted to adjust to the light and she opened the door to the garden, where Dinah was sat, but she only found that out when she spoke up. "Hey-" "OH MY GOD!" Lauren screamed slamming her hand against her chest in shock. "Fuck Dinah you scared me!" Lauren hit the younger girl. Dinah pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. "Sorry," Lauren sat down on the grass with her. "How come you're in our garden at like 3pm when you could be home?" Dinah shrugged, Lauren narrowed her eyes. "Did something happen? Is Normani mad at you or something, did she kick you out?" Dinah shook her head, it was rare for her to piss off her roommate. The pair were just as inseparable as Lauren and Camila. "No I just needed a place to think, and I love your garden." Lauren smirked "So how often do you sneak over here?" Dinah rolled her eyes "I don't, loser. Well, rarely. It's quiet here, pretty." Lauren smiled "Yeah, it is. But you said you needed to think. So what's on your mind?" Dinah sighed. "I don't know Lauren, it's just kinda mad right now." Lauren raised an eyebrow. "How?" Dinah couldn't think how to elaborate, "I mean..god, I don't know." Lauren rubbed her arm to relax her. "It's a bit of a mess up there huh." Lauren smiled at her best friend sympathetically, Dinah only nodded. "Do you want me to play something?" Lauren offered, getting her guitar from where it sat perched against the sliding glass doors. "That'd be awesome Laur." Dinah smiled and watched eagerly. "I forget sometimes you went to Julliard." Lauren chuckled. "You know, me too until I start playing." Lauren played for Dinah, eventually the relaxing music and Lauren's disappearance brought Camila outside. "Hey, what's going on here?" She asked and Dinah patted the spot beside her. Lauren still had her eyes shut as she played Stay With Me. Unexpectedly, Lauren started singing it too. Camila and Dinah's jaws dropped, Lauren rarely sang, and when she did it blew everyone away. When her fingers stopped playing and Lauren looked up she was met with two pairs of soft and adoring eyes looking back at her. "Hey Camz." Lauren half smiled, putting her guitar to one side. "That was beautiful Lauren." Dinah said, moving closer to hug her best friend. "Aww, I love you Dinah." Lauren hugged Dinah back till Camila decided to sit in Dinah's lap. "Can I help you?" Dinah smirked at Camila who just shook her head with a satisfied smile on her face. Lauren gave a small chuckle. "I haven't heard you play in a while." Camila noted, Lauren turned her attention to her girlfriend. "You haven't heard me, but I have been playing." Lauren said, "When have you?" Camila asked her. "Just sometimes." Lauren told her vaguely, because it's not like Lauren didn't love Camila and didn't want to spend time with her. It was just she also loved to spend some time alone, having time to herself. Lauren felt at peace under the stars with her guitar. But for now, the sun was shining on the three girls. Of course Dinah ended up staying the day and the night as it happened. But still, Lauren waited for the time she would be able to reunite with her 6 strings of serenity.