Broken by kittykat92002

Chapter:36 Frozen

Chapter:36 Frozen
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(Alex's P.O.V.)

I Finnish up work , and it's now 6:45 in the morning and I'm feeling absolutely exhausted from a long evening and nights and mornings work. I was lucky to removed to quickly duck back to the house to cook dinner for mother and Marie since father was on another business trip I assume and won't be back until god knows when, weeks , months . I feel a slight pang of longing in me and can't help but miss his presence , and even though every rare time he came home he was drunk or high for the majority of it , I couldn't help but feel a slight comfort in his presence , knowing he's at least safe and eating what I'm feeding him . He was depressed , and has been since I could remember and it breaks my heart to see him let go of himself , because in the very very rare moments when he was actually sober , he was the father I once knew , who even though wasn't present for the majority of my life , it was those little rare special moments with him that counted for me. He didn't look at me with the hatred mother did everyday, as if I was an abomination to the world , a disease of some sorts , a poison to the world and everyone in it. He is the closest person I had to receiving affection .

I sighed at my thoughts and couldn't help but worry about where he was now, and how he was feeling and if he was okay, if he was healthy and well fed , if he was sober , if he was happy. Because whenever I saw him it sure didn't look like it. I was shaken out of my worries by a concerned looking uncle , who's kind blue eyes stare back at me as he stands near me a hand on my shoulder jolting my attention completely onto him.

" Are you feeling alright pretty bird? You don't look too well,I could always drive you home if you need a ride."

uncle told me with a concerned frown but I quickly shook my head panic flaring in me .

" No! "

I squeaked out before I could stop myself fear filling me and I watched as his face became taken aback by my sudden outburst and hurt by my rudeness. I inwardly hit myself angry at myself for snapping at uncle and I forced a smile .

" I'm sorry, what I mean was thank you for your kind offer , but I'm fine, and I have to go to school anyways but thank you for your kindness."

I tell him softly and see suspicion fill his eyes but he reluctantly nods and lets me go and I quickly change out of my waitress dress into the clothes I was wearing the day before and quickly packed my boys bagpacks before leaving the diner at around 7:00am. I sigh tiredly and begin my days work , and drop of both the twins reluctantly feeling uneasy about leaving Sam there and quickly shake my thoughts and promised myself if get that damn money for the expensive rare medicine he has to have to keep him alive , no matter what I have to do. I have to keep him alive and healthy , I have to give him the life he deserves , one that I was never given . I swore in my life I'd keep him happy and safe and healthy and this is me keeping my promise .

I walk East to his school and watch him walk infront of me leaving me behind , never once speaking to me let alone looking at me , acting as if I don't exist and I feel my heart go cold from his silent treatment and his cold shoulder he was giving me . I swallow thickly as I watch my heart break infront of me , but why dies it hurt so much more this time than watching as mother punished me and called me all those horrible names.

I stand at the gate and and feel tears sting the corner of my eyes as I swallow back the tears my heart growing colder by the seconds.

" East.."

I murmur quietly but he just walks straight past me not even sparing me one glance before hiking up his bag pack on his shoulder and entering the school alone , never once glancing back. I watch as he fades away into the midst of kids , and I force myself away and start my journey to high school , my heart cold and heavy with hurt , as I walk alone ignoring the freezing chill there was today , in only my tank top and shorts the only clothes I had except for my waitress dress and the two sets in my bag. I arrive at school early desperate to be alone and unnoticed today , desperate to be left to my own thoughts as I slowly felt myself break more and more inside , scared I may lash out again or say too much.