Maybe I'm Amazed~Threequel to I Wanna Be Your Man~

Chapter 57

Just some reader discretion advised. This chapter might be a little upsetting as there is mention of thoughts of suicide. If you want to skip through that, read until the first "~" I will bold it. If you're fine with reading it, then start from the beginning~Emma

Alice's P.O.V

Paul walked ahead of my dad and I. I was getting an earful from my dad as a hung my head down in shame.

"Alison! How could you!? You know your mom and I raised you better than that!" dad said.

"I know daddy. I'm sorry" I said

"What would your mother think!? She's probably watching you right now and she's probably very disappointed" dad said

"I know she would be" I said with an annoyed tone. I understand that my father had every right to be upset with me right now but he shouldn't be talking me down like I'm some kind of child! I'm twenty nine for heaven's sake!

"Just tell me Alison, why would you even consider trying drugs in the first place? How long is it going to be before you start cocaine?" dad said. I looked up at him and said words that shouldn't have come out of my mouth.

"At least I didn't steal medication from you and then down all of it down with alcohol!"

My father looked at me with a displeased look. Paul just looked at me with shock on his face.

"What did you just say?" dad asked

"You heard me! How many times did you end up in the hospital?" I said

"Alison Grace, you know never to speak about that!" dad said

"Well it's true! You were addicted to over the counter drugs and you were an alcoholic! You've had to go to the hospital so many times to get your stomach flushed because you mixed the two so often! But you never learned, did you? At least not until I was born but even after that you still thought about it! What would have happened if you continued? I wouldn't have a father!" I said

"That's enough!" dad said

"Do you still think about it?" I said

"What?" dad said

"Do you still think about it?" I repeated with a firm voice.

"Yes! I do! I've been thinking about it ever since I lost Bessie! You know what I do? I always keep a bottle of pills close by in case I ever want to be with her again!" dad said

"You'd leave me behind? You'd leave your grandchildren behind? You'd leave Mabel and Laura behind?" I said. I could feel tears streaming down my face. I had never been so angry and upset at my dad before. Dad realized he triggered something because he reaches over and tried to touch my arm.

"Pumpkin, I'm sorry. That was too far" dad said

"No! What's been said has been said. You obviously don't care enough about me if you even consider overdosing on pills. If that's how it's going to be, never speak to me again!" I spat at my dad.

"Alice..." dad said but I ran off before he could finish his sentence. I even ran past Paul, despite his protesting.

~

When I got to the tour bus, I was crying a river. It was embarrassing when everyone looked up at me. My bandmates, my family and even Paul's family. I went to a quiet part of the bus so I could be alone.

~

Due to tonight's events, everyone thought it was best that we stayed at a hotel for the night. When we got to our hotel room, Paul spoke to me for the first time since my fight with my dad.

"Love, are you alright?" Paul asked. He sat with me on the bed and took my hand in his.

"No. My dad had never spoken to me like that. He was talking to me like I was a child and he started accusing me of doing something I would never do in my life" I said

"I feel like this is partially my fault. If I hadn't even thought about bringing that bag, we would have never been arrested and that fight never would have happened" Paul said

"Paul, don't blame yourself. It was my fault for not shutting my mouth when I should have. I'm the one who crossed the line" I said. I could feel more tears streaming down my face and Paul wipes every single one.

"Love, you didn't mean to do it. That was just out of anger. We all say things we don't mean when we're angry" Paul said

"I meant it when I said I never wanted to speak to him again" I said

"You say that now, but when you lose him and you've stayed true to your word, you'll want to take that back" Paul said.

"I can't believe I ran onto that tour bus crying in front of everybody. I was crying in front of your family. It was so embarrassing!" I said

"Don't be embarrassed, love. Everybody cries" Paul said. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my forehead.

"I think maybe you should get some sleep" Paul said. I nodded. Paul and I laid back on the bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

~

"Sweetheart. Open your eyes" I heard mom's voice. I opened my eyes and saw that I was in the meadow.

"Hi mom" I said

"Something is bothering you because you're in the meadow and I'm here. Tell me what it is" mom said

"I had an argument with dad. I'm not going to get into much detail with it but I told him I'm never speaking to him again" I said

"C'mere" mom said. I walked up to my mom and she wrapped her arms around me.

"When you will want to speak to your dad again, it will be too late. Don't let that happen. Talk to him tomorrow" mom said

"I'm too scared to speak to him. What if he hates me?" I asked

"He's your father. He could never hate you. Just promise me you'll try to at least look him in the eye" mom said

"I promise" I said. Mom was right. I should apologize before its too late.