Royal Bitch

Your courage is that you take action despite your fear.

"Courage is not having the strength to go on; it's going on when you don't have the strength." - Theodore Roosevelt

This particular quote has more significant meaning for me today, this past weekend, someone I loved very dearly lost her battle with cancer. She was like a daughter to me. It is with a heavy heart that I am posting today. I love you all and I hope you enjoy.

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Chapter 57

Fiore had been counting down the days before she started her next round of treatment. This was her Hail Mary, her last stitch effort. She wasn't sure what she believed in, but she hoped that someone was listening to her prayers.

More than anything she worried for her family. What was happening in her absence? She couldn't watch and monitor what was actually happening. Fiore trusted no one else with her family's safety.

Fiore was now sitting in the pristine hospital room, Kenneth by her side as usual.

Fiore underwent the treatment and hoped for the best. Within days she was vomiting and her body was reacting as it usually did with chemo. Pain, exhaustion, nausea, struggling to think straight.

Two days in, Fiore was barely holding anything liquid down, let alone solid.  Miserable was an understatement.  This went on until her next dose of medication and treatment. Fiore felt worse and wondered if that was a side effect from the trial or if her body was losing a battle in this war.

"Dr. Douglas is worried you're having an adverse reaction to the trial."

"It's too soon to stop."

"And what if we don't and it kills you?" Kenneth shot back.

"Shut your goddamn mouth.  Don't say that to me!" Fiore snarled. 

"Don't get her riled up." Chuck warned as he strolled in.  "Fiore, you seem to be having an adverse reaction.  Your doctor has ordered a full round of tests to see if they are having any of the desired effects or just making you sicker."

Fiore was brought down for blood work, ultrasounds, and every other test they needed.  Exhausted she was brought back to her room and given a sedative. 

The next time Fiore awoke, Dr. Douglas was in her room with Kenneth and Chuck.

"About time." Chuck teased.

"What did the test say?"

"I have good news and bad news."

"Bad first." Fiore decided.

"You are having an adverse reaction to the trial."

"What kind of reaction?"

"That does tie into the good news.  It does seem to be having the desired effect on the cancer cells, but it's also destroying the healthy cells around them.  It's more of a battering ram rather than a Trojan horse."

Fiore nodded as she processed this information.  "So what does that mean?"

"We have two options.  We can stop the trial and try something different or we can continue the trial and risk your life."

Fiore let that information sink in.  "If we continue, how bad can the damage be?"

"If it spreads to your vital organs, your heart or lungs or brain, it could stop them if it damages them too severely."

"But nothing else has shown to be effective?  Am I right?"

"That's correct."

"So if we stop, there's a good chance I'm dead anyway."