Our Secrets Will Kill Us // Oliver Sykes

Chapter Six: She Has Me Wrapped Around Her Finger

Song: All Around Me by Flyleaf

Oliver~  

Tugging on the ends of my sweater, I ruffled my hair a bit and pulled my hood over my head before grabbing my backpack off the floor and walking out into the hallway. To no one's surprise; I found my father passed out on the floor. The slut he was fucking yesterday must have left because there was no trace of her anymore.  

Quietly, I crept into the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar before hurrying towards the front door. Luckily, I managed to make it our of the house without waking up my father. Plus, I got food this time. I haven't eaten in a couple of days thanks to my miserable father who's too cheap to feed his own son. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, he'll give me what's left over from dinner but that's on a rare occasion. Usually, I'll have to sneak some food in order to feed my starving stomach.  

You would think someone at school would notice the starving boy, right? I would think so to but the thing is, at my school, no one cares about you unless you're pretty or dead. Not a lot of people knew Seth until he committed suicide. At his funeral, complete strangers were weeping over his death. None of them even offered help when he was clearly begging for it.  

My school is filled with a bunch of ignorant idiots. The majority of them follow the stupid trends and like the shitty pop music they play on the radio. Yeah, everyone is entitled to their own opinion but I don't understand how people can say that those stupid pop artists are 'inspirational'. In my opinion, all pop is stupid and meaningless. Maybe it's just how I view things but I cannot stand pop, country or rap. The only music I can listen to without wanting to tear my hair out is rock music. The only type of music I've found that actually holds meaning to it.  

Despite how meaning full the lyrics are in most rock songs, people will still view them as 'satanic' no matter what. I've had people call me 'devil worshiper' or 'satanic' for my many tattoos and different taste in music but I find it funny how I don't even believe in all that bull shit religion and they do. I don't believe in the devil yet they somehow think that I am a 'devil worshiper'. It's amusing and irritating how people can throw assumptions like that without actually knowing the person they're insulting.  

Whatever, people judge others no matter what happens and there absolutely nothing no one can do about it.  

Once I reached the school grounds, I walked through the front door, ignoring the looks some of my fellow 'peers' were giving me. Their glares and judgmental looks are something I've grown used to. Everyone looks down on me for some reason but it's not like I care anymore. Only a couple more months are left before I can graduate from this fucking place and never have to see any of these twats ever again.  

I know some people blame me for Seth's suicide. I am not to blame and they all know it. Seth took his life away because we both were being bullied every single fucking day. The teachers knew what was going on but of course, they didn't do shit. They just ignored the fact that Seth or I were practically dragged into the boy's restroom and beaten by the jocks.  

The bullying has died down a bit. I still get bullied by this asshole named Mark but other than that, things are not as crazy as they used to be for me. The only person that still takes joy in seeing me suffer is my father. He beats me whenever he gets pissed drunk or just needs a way to release whatever anger he's feeling. I have a way to release my feelings but it involves another way of harming myself. In the end, it doesn't matter, I'll always be the one to get hurt. Whether it comes from my father, bullies, or myself; I'll always be the one hurting in the end.  

Before I knew it, I had found my way to my first period classroom. Even though school doesn't officially start for another thirty minutes, I always try to arrive earlier than the other students. Part of that reason being I don't have any friends to 'mingle' with before the bell rings but the main reason is because I'd rather be here than stuck at home with my dad. Anywhere is better than being with him.  

Walking into the classroom, I passed by the many rows of desks until I reached the back row. Normally, people tend to stay away from me and that doesn't bother me. I'd rather be alone than hanging out with a bunch of people I probably hate or hate me. Sometimes I wonder if the way I think is 'healthy'. I find solitude to be more appealing than hanging out with a large group of people.  

I was never intro parties, raves, clubs, drinking and all that typical bullshit people my age do. I'm not a complete square; I do like to have fun but... with who? I have no one to share my 'excitement' with. Happiness itself seems so far away from me. 'Happiness' is just another thing I can't seem to achieve anymore.  

Despite my mother leaving me and my father beating me daily; I used to be somewhat contempt with my life. I had a best friend who I knew I could count on a tell anything to and I also had a beautiful girlfriend whom which I loved and cared about but, as always, nothing good ever lasts. The two people I cared about left me and I was alone again. Alone to wallow in my thoughts and self pity.  

Sighing quietly, I slumped down on the blue chair and placed my backpack on the hard desk. I pulled out my notebook and a pencil before opening up my notebook and turning to a new page. I only have about four more pages in this notebook until I have to go to the store and buy another one.  

I don't have a lot of money but during the summer time, I worked part time at a local grocery store and destracted myself with different odd jobs. All in attempt to save up for the day I turn eighteen, which isn't too far from today. I still have a long ways to go before I can even consider renting out a small flat but at least I have some money saved up, right?  

I know exactly what I want to be when I get older. I want to be in a band. Whenver dad's out; I practice my screaming. In my opinion, I'm pretty good at screaming and growling. One time, I practiced for so long on my screaming that I ended up coughing up blood in our basement.  

Yeah, I definitely want to be in a band when I get older. I've written enough for at least two albums. I have four notebooks filled with random lyrics and various things like that but I've never shown them to anyone besides Seth. Hell, I didn't even tell him that I was planning to become a front man for a band. When he asked me why I was writing lyrics in my notebook, I just shrugged him off and told him that they were just something I did to pass the time while at home.  

The sound of the bell ringing broke me away from my thoughts. Looking up from my notebook, I watched as the classroom quickly filled with students hurrying to sit next to their friends. We don't have a seating chart because Mr. Abbott looks like he could care less about what the classroom does. The majority of the time, most of the students don't even pay attention to the lesson he's trying to teach, they're all to busy chatting away with their friends. Not like Mr. Abbott seems to care, he just blocks their voices out and continues teaching the lesson.

The class went by extremely slow. I was anxious to get out of this classroom for one reason only, I had this class with Giselle. I didn't want to see her. I always tried avoiding her but of course, with my luck, I had gotten stuck having her for three of my classes. It hurt seeing her because I think I still had feelings for her. She was my first grilfriend, the first girl I loved. As much as I hate to admit it, I still miss her.

Despite Giselle cheating on me, I still miss her. Her long black hair, full lips, smooth skin... I hate everything about her but at the same time, I just want to kiss her again. I know I shouldn't feel this way because she's nothing but a cheating whore but what am I supposed to do?...

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I hope this isn't getting boring for you guys. Sometimes, I write down my thoughts and I get carried away. Kind of like what happened in this chapter. Not much dialect but more of just Oliver. I'm going to try to make the chapters at least two pages long. If not, more ^-^ Leave a comment and tell me what you think. ^.^