Our Secrets Will Kill Us // Oliver Sykes

Chapter Sixteen: Strange Feelings

Song: Back From The Dead by Skylar Grey ft Big Sean & Travis Barker [I figured some of you guys might not be into the kind of music but I personally think this song is amazing]

Oliver~ 

Shoving my hands into the pockets of my black jacket, I looked in the driveway of the familiar house and noticed that my father's car was no longer in the driveway. Silently thanking whatever was watching over me, I started towards the entrance of my home.  

Honestly, I never want to come back here, to see this place again but I have no choice. I need to get some clothes for the next couple of days and I need to clear my mind from thoughts of Amelia.  

Whatever was going to happen in the studio, I'm glad it didn't. I'm not sure what my feelings are for Amelia but I know that I still have feelings for Giselle. I don't think it would have been right to kiss Amelia while knowing that in the back of my head, I was imaging Giselle's lips pressed against mine.  

The fact that I can't get Giselle out of my head is killing me. I know I'm not in love with her anymore but I know part of me still holds feelings for her. I want so desperately to forget about her, to move on and not think about her anymore but fuck, doing that seems almost impossible to me. 

Groaning in frustration, I ran my fingers through my hair and forced myselfto push all thoughts of Giselle and Amelia away. Right now, my main focus is to get my things before my father comes back home.  

After I grabbed the spare key from under the mat, I walked inside the dark, quiet house and hurried towards my bedroom. Grabbing my backpack, I wasted no time in shoving as much clothing as my backpack would be able to hold. I didn't have much of personal belongings but there was one thing I knew I would never ever be able to leave behind, no matter what.  

Looking under my pillow, I grabbed the old photograph that my father had taken when we were still living in Australia. He had taken a picture of Amelia, Tom and I. The three of us were happily sitting in front of the swing set where Amelia had pushed me off of months earlier. I will still never be able to understand why she chose to hung around me but I'm grateful that she did. She was truly one of my only friends who stuck by me.  

Once I made sure the photograph was neatly placed inside my backpack, I closed the zipper and hurried out of my bedroom. Thankfully, my father hasn't arrived so I had enough time to sneak out of the house without having to see him.  

Instead of going back to Amelia's house like I had originally planned, I took a small detour to one of the many parks here in Sheffield. I knew that by being out in public, I was putting myself at danger of my father seeing me but I didn't think too much of it. I didn't necessarily feel like going back to Amelia just yet and thought that some time alone would be much better for both me and her.  

After I arrived at the park, I set my backpack down on the grass and sat under a large oak tree. Closing my eyes, I lolled my head back and sighed quietly.  

Despite not wanting to, my mind was still stuck on Amelia and Giselle. I wonder if Amelia was aware of what she was about to do. Who knows, maybe she wanted to kiss me? I don't understand why, though. Amelia is one of the prettiest girls at Stocksbridge and her Australia accent only drives the other guys insane. 

I've heard what they had to say about Amelia in the locker rooms. Sure, they're guys, I understand that us men have sexual fantasies and desires but fuck, some of the shit those bastards say are absolutely disgusting and disrespectful. Well, I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be some fucking saint or anything because I'm definitely not. 

When I was with Giselle, it was like our relationship consisted of us fucking each other's brains out every single day. Not that I was complaining about it, I mean, what guy would? Sure, the sex was great but after the first couple of times, that's all it ever was. Just sex...