Our Secrets Will Kill Us // Oliver Sykes

Chapter Ten: Opposites Attract

I aplogize for the short chapter. -.-

Song: Time-Bomb by All Time Low

Oliver~

I breathed in a sigh of relief once I realized that my father had yet to come home. He left around midnight last night and has yet to return. I'm not worried about him, he's probably getting pissed at some pub or snorting cocaine with his crack head friends. I don't give a shit if he dies from alcohol poisoning or snorts to much cocaine. Actually, I could care less what happens to him. He doesn't give two shits about me so why should I concern myself with his safety?

Once inside my house, I walked into the kitchen and began looking through the fridge, in hopes of finding something edible. I only eat the school's lunch but today, Amelia wasn't at school so I didn't get to eat her lunch. I still don't understand why she hangs out with me.

These past two weeks, Amelia has spent her entire lunch period with me instead of her other friends. I don't know why, I mean, I was the fucking kid who would always bully her when we were younger but despite our horrible past, she still finds it in her heart to be kind to me. No, she's too nice. She must be hiding something. No one is that nice without having something hidden.

I still wonder how she manages to put up with me. I'm still distant and cautious around her. I try to not act like a complete asshole around her but dammit, she just... I don't know what it is about her. I can't tell whether she annoys me or she irritates me. Her kindness, her happiness... those are the things that get to me. I don't deserve happiness... not after all I did to her.

I was such a twat to her when we were little kids. I always bullied her, called her horrible names and blamed everything on her. Yet, even after I acted like a complete twat, she still stuck around me. Even her fucking cousin.... Jenna, I think was her name, tried to get her to stay away from me. She told her I was 'bad news' and nothing but a bully but even after that, Amelia followed me everywhere.

I guess that's another thing that annoyed me. It's funny because I don't like to get close to people but at the same time... I hate being alone. Even after spending half of my childhood alone and afraid... I still cannot stand it. Now, I know what you're thinking; But Oli, you're alone right now....?

Well yeah, I am alone right now but I use music as a distraction. Whenever I feel the numb feeling growing inside me again, I turn to music, writing or the blade as an escape. I just want the numb inside of me to leave but sometimes, even Hell can get comfy once you've settled in. It's a fucked up thing I discovered not too long ago about myself. I push people away until they're completely gone and when they do end up leaving, I feel like shit and use one of my methods of 'distraction' to feel better.

I don't understand how I had friends in the first place. I don't know why Seth chose to become my best friend. Maybe he felt sorry for me? I definitely don't know why Giselle chose to go out with me. When she asked me to become her boyfriend, I was startled, shocked and extremely happy. But now that I think of it, I have no idea why I even went out with Giselle in the first place.

After our break up, I learned that we had nothing in common. She loved going outdoors, interacting with people and was outgoing and fun while I was the complete opposite. I don't go outside unless I have to, I don't like interacting with people and I am definitely not outgoing nor 'fun'. Our music tastes were also very different. She liked the pop, rap crap while I preferred rock and heavy metal. Unfortunately, I'm known as 'Satanic' for my choice in music genres but I wont rant about how much that pisses me off.

Dragging myself into my bedroom, I collapsed on my bed, completely exhausted. My mind was stuck on two people and two people only; Amelia and Giselle. Yeah, despite our differences, I still think about Giselle. Well, they say opposites attract right? I hope I get over Giselle someday. I'm sick of thinking about her. I don't want to think about all the times we shared a kiss, all the times we held hands or all the times we got busy in the sheets. I don't want to think about that, I just want to forget it all.

I wonder what Tom would say about Giselle. He was only about three when we left Australia so I doubt he remembers Amelia. He'd probably hate Giselle. I know Seth did. He hated her with a passion. He knew her true colors and warned me multiple times about her but I ignored him. What can I say, I was blinded by her eyes.

Yet, I can't help but think about Amelia when I think about Giselle. They too are also completely opposite. Both physically and personality wise. Amelia has straight, dirty blonde hair while Giselle has wavy pitch black hair. Amelia has amazing blue eyes while Giselle's eyes are dark brown. Amelia's short, well, compared to me she is. She seems to be around 5'4 or something like that while Giselle is at least 5'9.

Their personalities are also very different. From what I've seen, Amelia seems to be the nice, kind caring girl. She tells me that she doesn't like seeing people depressed or bummed out so she'll do whatever she can to get them out of that state. No one seems to hate Amelia, she's such a lively person and seems like she can do no wrong... Innocent, if you will.

Giselle on the other hand is very rude. She can be nice at times but for the majority of times, she's a right bitch. She tends to open her mouth first and think after she's said or done something. When we were dating, she would always get into trouble. She was caught smoking weed in the girl's bathroom multiple times and has been suspended from school at least three times this year.

Yeah, they're both definitely different from each other but there's something about them both that attracts me to them.