First Semester

Jayden 43

I remember the night my dad left perfectly, it was around 1 o'clock in the morning and I was trying to sneak in just as he was trying to sneak out. I remember the lie he told as well, maybe I was either too drunk, high or stupid to catch it or maybe it was a combination of the three but I should've known something was up when he came up with that some bullshyt about needing to get some milk...... that was the last time I saw him. My dream shifted and we were in Papi's room drinking while Gio sat there calling us idiots, the door to Papi's room swung open and his mom walked in something in her voice told me something was wrong because she was too calm to have just caught us drinking, 'Jayden you need to come with me.' she said fighting back tears. I remember Jamal's funeral, I sat in the front pew looking at the body of my little brother praying he'd just get up.... just tell me this was all a really bad dream, just to see him smile one more time. The dream shifted again and I was sitting in class throwing paper balls at Papi because I knew he'd get mad as fuck and I found it to be funny then the principle, vice principle and guidance counselor came in the class room and told me to come with them...........

"JAYDEN!!!! JAYDEN WAKE UP!!!!" I sat up so quickly I headbutted someone in the face, it took me a second to realize where I was. I was at Kyrese's place, in his second bedroom..... I looked at him as he checked his nose for blood.

"Damn my bad Ky...... what time is it?" I asked rolling over and checking my phone, it was only three o'clock in the morning, what the fuck was he doing waking me up this early. "Nigga the house better be on fire." I said laughing quietly.

"Jayden..... bro you were screaming in your sleep...... like I thought something had happened to you........" Kyrese said wiping the tears away from my eyes that I didn't even know were there.

"I'm good..... damn I must've been having a crazy as dream. Now can I please go back to sleep unless you trying to get this dick." I said grabbing my dick threw my pajama pants and smirking.

"How...... how did your brother die?" Kyrese asked looking into my eyes, I felt my whole body tense up. We sat there quietly, Kyrese waiting for an answer, me waiting for him to leave. "I lost my little brother too..... Kyle thought he was the baddest dude around and he was heavy into gangs..... one day he met someone who was badder than he was. I blamed myself..... I should've guided him better, I was so wrapped up in being the perfect son that I didn't want to be bothered with him..... I regret that now." Kyrese said quietly.

"Jamal.... was sick, they honestly didn't think he'd make it past his sixth birthday but he was a fighter then one day....... one day he just didn't want to fight anymore." I said trying to keep my voice from cracking. "Look I'm tired I'll talk to you in the morning." I said rolling over and covering my head.

"Aight..... I just want you to know, you won't feel this sadness forever Jay.... I promise it passes." Kyrese said getting up. "I'll be next door if you need anything good night." He said walking out but leaving my door cracked.

Later that day Kyrese to pick up my car, but I could feel that something between us had changed things felt weird.... maybe it was just me but Kyrese picked up on it. As we were waiting for Kyrese's cousin to bring my car out we sat right to next each but it felt like we were miles apart. There were a few times I wanted to talk but I couldn't find the right words; I hated talking about Jamal and my mom because it hurt too much, but Kyrese had seen a side of me that very few people have ever got to see and I honestly felt vulnerable. Thankfully his cousin came and got us saving me from having to open up to him.

"HOLY FUCK!" That was all I could say when I saw my car, it honestly looked brand new..... Kyrese's cousin had really put his heart and soul into fixing up my car. "Damn thanks man how much do I owe you?" I asked looking at my car.

"Don't worry about it just take care of my little cousin." Kyrese cousin said walking off.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked looking at Kyrese who was blushing furiously.

"I kinda told him you were my boyfriend so he'd give me a discount, look I gotta head to class I'll see you at practice." Kyrese said walking off quickly. I stood there stuck for a second, damn I really owed him, I started thinking of ways I could pay Kyrese back when my phone started ringing.... damn I was late, but I would definitely be making this up to him.

I pulled up to the house that looked exactly the same as it did from my earliest memories, I swear nothing has changed; from the white fence that was missing every third picket, the garden gnome that was was missing it's left ear from the time Jamal tripped over it, even the porch swing that was once dark brown but now after many year in the weather was almost white swung carelessly in the wind. I got up to the door and used my key to walk into my grandparents house.

"GRANNY!!!" I yelled walking through the house looking for my grandma. "Wassup Pop-pop." I said and he waved dismissively, I swear he was sitting in the exact same spot the last time I was here and I was starting to think he was stuck. I walked into the kitchen where my grandma was cooking, I walked over gave her a kiss and sat at the table.

"Boy I know you didn't walk through my house with them shoes on?" She asked looking at me like she was going to kill me.

"Sorry." I said taking my shoes off and sliding them under the table and she went back to her cooking.

"Where's my boyfriend?" She asked referring to Gio and I couldn't help but laugh, she really believed Gio was her boyfriend.

"He's probably in class...... but umm when you called you said it was important. Is everything alright?" I asked nervously. My grandma shuffled around the kitchen quietly making me a plate of food the sat it in front of me, here she goes trying to butter me up with food..... I still started eating though because it smelled amazing.

"So how have you and my other grandsons been, is Papi still slutting around with everyone?" She asked laughing.

"Nah he's seeing someone right now, so is Gio......... and I've been good, they're talking about putting me on the team next year." I said smiling and she nodded.

"That's great Jayden..... you need to tell those boys they better come see me. I have no problem showing up to y'alls school and showing my ass." She said and I started laughing because I know she would. My granddad walked into the kitchen pissed.

"He's back..... I'll be in the basement." He said looking at me sadly before walking away.

"Who's back? What is he talking about?" I asked feeling a chill go down my spine.

"Jayden that's what I wanted to talk to you about I......." Her words were drowned out by someone yelling 'MAMA' from the living room and judging from the footsteps they were getting closer. I looked at the doorway to the kitchen and felt myself go from zero to a hundred.

"Ayy mom who's car is that in the driveway?" He asked not seeing me sitting there. I stood up and tried to decide whether to beat his ass our just leave. He turned to the sound on my movements and studied my face for a second. "Who's this ma?" He asked pointing at me and I knew I had to leave because there were too many things in there I could use to beat his skull in with.

"I'll see you later granny." I said putting my shoes back on and walking out the back door, I didn't trust myself not to swing on him if I walked past him. I walked around front just as he was coming out the front door.

"Jayden hold up." He said trying to catch up to me. "Jay please let's talk." He said standing by the driver side blocking my path. "Damn you've grown..... you're almost unrecognizable." He said quietly. How the fuck was I unrecognizable anybody with eyes could see we looked just alike, I thought to myself. "How have you been son?"

"I told Papi and Gio...... that if I ever saw you again I would probably beat your ass, the only thing that's stopping me is the respect I have for my grandparents, now either you can move or get moved but me and you.... we don't have shyt to say to each other Samuel." I said pushing past him, I got in my car and sped off. I've was on ten right now and I knew for a fact there were only two people who could calm me down right now and that was Gio and Papi, I really needed my best friends right now but as I was driving I found myself getting pulled in another direction. I got to the house and saw her sitting outside talking to her ratchet ass friends.... okay maybe I'm a glutton for punishment and Taylor despite all her flaws was exactly what I needed..... a distraction.................................