Family is Forever

Part 12 Ali's psych consult

'How are you feeling right now Natalia' Dr Palmer asked. Ali shrugged her shoulders and kept looking down at her lap as she was sat up in her bed. 'Natalia, I am here to help you, I'm not going to judge you or get angry with you. I know that it can be incredibly hard to tell the truth, but please try, we can't help you if we don't know what's going on.'
'I don't feel good, I can't really explain why' Ali whispered still staring at her lap. 'I haven't felt good in a really long time'
'I have a little questionnaire to rate how you have been feeling in the last month, could you fill that in for me, and then we'll have a little chat.' Dr Palmer handed the questionnaire and a pen to Ali.
Once Ali had filled in the questionnaire Dr Palmer started to read it. 'Natalia, I'm quite concerned about your weight, what would you eat in a normal day?'
'I can be hard since I've not been living at home. And with my GCSEs I'm not anorexic though, I do eat! So yesterday I was at my friend Jessica's. I wasn't really hungry for breakfast, I had a cereal bar for lunch and half a slice of pizza for dinner. I just don't get hungry. I'm quite big. I've needed to loose some weight for a while. I guess since being on a diet, I'm kind of scared of some foods, like chocolate and Ice cream- that probably sounds crazy. But I do eat!'
'Natalia most people with anorexia do eat, just not enough to sustain themselves. Like a car without enough petrol will break down. Lack of food maybe why you fainted. If you don't mind me asking, when did you last have a period?'
'I'm not pregnant' Ali looked at Dr Palmer confused.
'Sometimes when people are underweight their periods stop' Dr Palmer explained 'I've not had one for a while' Ali mused 'I didn't notice but I maybe haven't had one since Christmas time or maybe January'
'So six or seven months.' Dr Palmer confirmed. 'You said that you weren't living at home, why is that?' Dr Palmer asked 'Ricky, my mamas boyfriend, well fiancée now, kicked me out last month, right after my GCSEs. We,me and my mum, were living at his and as it his home it's his rules, me and Ricky were fighting a lot, he didn't want me, he said I was messing up he and mums relationship so he kicked me out, so I was living at different friends houses and came here to find my cousin. My mum struggled and I spent a lot of my childhood with Zosia and her family. But since my aunt Anja died I haven't really seen them.'
'So you're almost 16' Dr Palmer read Ali's notes 'Ms Campbell told me that you had been hurting yourself, can you tell me about that?'
Ali took a deep breath 'I guess, when I get sad, I feel strange. Like there's so many thoughts inside my head. So I cut. And it feels good, it calms me, the blood and pain helps the sadness go away. And then after I feel angry at myself and want to cut to punish myself. I know that it makes no sense but... I don't know, I can't even explain' 
'Ok, thank you, well done Natalia. Would you be able to text Zosia to come back. I'd like to talk to her and Ms Campbell ok?'
'Ok?' Ali got her phone out and text her cousin, she found her hands were shaking after finally telling someone what had been going on.