Family is Forever

Chapter 61 -Wigilia

Polish translation
Perogi-Polish dumplings
Babcia-grandma
Cześć- hello
Wesołych świąt-merry Christmas
Kocham cię-i love you
Kochanie-sweetheart/darling 
Wiglila-Christmas eve
Przepraszam-sorry

Zosia had been preparing the perogi for most of the day. She was feeling a little brighter, since the party. She still wanted to make it perfect for Ali. They had invited Klaudia, Ali's mum, Colette and Ela and although Zosia really didn't want him there Guy, her father had pretty much invited himself. Traditionally the Wigilia meal had 12 dishes they had decided to do that but not in such a traditional way, Asdas best garlic bread would be one, as would chopped up French stick, and Pizza. More of a European Wigilia than a Polish one. Those three and the perogi were Zosia contribution. Klaudia was doing the rest of the  traditional Polish parts and Colette was bringing some puddings.
Both Ollie and Zosia were both a little worried about Ali, since the party and her dresses not fitting Ali had been really struggling with food. Especially since she didn't have Day treatment over Christmas and her anxieties surrounding food were obviously pretty high and Christmas is so surrounded with food.
Ollie wasn't sure what to do. He was planning to propose to Zosia at the Wigilia dinner, but with Zosia being in the depths of depression and Guy being there who had never really liked him he just wasn't sure. He'd bought the ring ages ago and had hidden it, with the receipt as he wasn't sure Zosia would like it but he thought she would as Dom had helped him choose. He also knew that this Wigilia was more for Ali than Zosia which also put him off. He decided against it.
"Zosia?" Ali yelled down the stairs "can I wear that dress again?"
"Sure kochaine, I hung it in my wardrobe. Feel free to go and grab it. There's a cardi too." Suddenly the landline phone started to ring. "It's for you Zosh." Ollie passed the phone to his girlfriend "hi?" She asked "babica,  Cześć. Wesołych świąt" She greeted her grandmother And wished her a merry Christmas. "What's been going on with you Babcia?" Zosia asked in Polish. "Oh, just boring things. Nothing out of the ordinary, what about you dear?" Her grandmother asked. Zosia told her everything, about Ollie, Colette, Klaudia, Natalia and her hospitalisation.  There was a long pause. "Zosia, kochanie," Zosia could hear that she had tears in her eyes "why didn't you tell me? I know we only used to speak on special occasions, but if you need me I'm here. Half a continent away, but just on the end of a phone line. The only reason I only used to call on special occasions is because your father didn't want you and your mother to force him to move back to Poland."
"Dad?" Zosia asked
"He's quite a man!" Babcia said.
"Thats for sure." Zosia replied rolling her eyes.
"Kocham cię Zosia. Now please give the telephone to Natalia. I must talk to her, and Zosia, don't blame yourself for anything you have told me, Natalia is hurting. Back to your perogi kochaine."
"Kocham cię Babica." Zosia said into the mouth piece
"Natalia, babcia is on the phone!" She shouted up The stairs Zosia could hear Ali's footsteps as she ran down two at a time. Ali had the dress on but no tights or a cardi yet as she was part way through getting ready. Zosia could see the angry red cuts from the other nights as well as many that were healing. She realised that since being off her meds and her breakdown she hadn't thought about keeping an eye out for cuts on her cousin. And Ollie couldn't have been. That would have been completely inappropriate. Babcia had said not to blame herself but Zosia did anyway. It was just another reason she'd failed.
"Cześć Babcia." Ali sounded the happiest Zosia had ever heard her. Babcia was a loving woman and loved everyone but she had a truly special relationship with Ali, more than any of her other grandchildren. Zosia smiled as she heard Ali chatting away to her grandmother asking about her cousins, Lukasz, Wiktor and little Kamila. She knew Babcia started talking about something Ali felt upset about because the tone of her voice totally changed "Przepraszam, Babcia...it just happens sometimes, calms me down when I feel panicked, quiets my mind. Cutting helps. I know I shouldn't do it."
Maybe you should try it. You deserve to be punished A voice in Zosia's head snarled she couldn't believe that she was feeling triggered by her little cousin. She closed the door between her in the kitchen and Ali in the living room and turned on the radio to drown out her thoughts. The familiar sound of the band aid single came on she sang along until it got to the part "and the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears" she then stopped. At that moment Ollie walked in "don't you think it's weird?" Zosia asked.
"What Zosh?" He asked
"That we sing along to this song with massive smiles on our faces when it's about people dying"
"I guess." Ollie replied "but why, why, why Delilah is about murder. You're overthinking it Zosh." He kissed the top of her head "I love you!" He said. "Me too" Zosia replied. Ollie smiled sadly, she had gone back to rolling out dough. He knew it was just an automatic response. He longed for Zosia to feel better mentally and tell her that she loved him, but knew, for now he just had to assure her that he loved her no matter what. Which he did. Forever and Always unconditional love. True love!