Family is Forever

Chapter 63- christmas day

"Shit it's after 10" Zosia muttered trying to wake Ollie. "So what," he yawned "we didn't go to bed till late last night...well.. early this morning."
"But it's Christmas!"
"Yes but it's just the three of us, a relaxing day we said, watching shit Christmas tv and eating some chinease food. Who cares what time it is?"
Zosia and Ollie showered, changed and went down stairs. Ali was already there on the sofa playing on her phone with the tv on that she wasn't really watching. She was wearing a pair of leggings and a long cardigan. "Good Morning, merry Christmas" she said cheerily.
"Merry Christmas." Ollie replied. "Oh Ol, some woman called Blanche rang the landline earlier, said she wanted to speak to you and could you call her when you got up." Ali told him.
"That's my mum, I wonder what she wants." Ollie sighed and called his mum.
"Merry Christmas mother.....yes with Zosia and her cousin Natalia......we were up late last night......that's too short notice, we have plans.....yes.....yes.....what about tomorrow?......I know...... yes I know, I am aware of that!" He put the phone down and turned to Ali and Zosia "Guys I'm really sorry. Mum's coming over...for turkey dinner."
"What?" Ali asked "we're not having a turkey dinner, can she not go somewhere else?"
"Apparently not. She started guilt tripping me about Penny." Ollie replied.
"well that's just great Ollie, we said no to dad and Klaudia why can't you say no to your mum!" Zosia asked sarcastically.
"C'mon Zosh, lets see what we can throw together." Ali smiled.
"No way, I'm not letting you anywhere near the kitchen Zosh," Ollie joked, usually that would get a laugh from Zosia but not today. Ali's organised side took over. "Ollie what times your mama coming? What can we find in the kitchen?" They found potatoes and carrots, and had leftover perogi from Wigilia. Ali texted Colette.
Hi Col,
Merry Christmas, we have a favour to ask, Oli's mum is coming over, do you have any traditional Xmas food leftovers? Give Ela a Christmas cuddle from Natala and kisses to you and your family.
N x

Colette quickly texted back by 11.30

Wesłoych Świat We're planing to eat about 12. What about you guys? I would drop leftover off, they'll be loads my family are all round mine and we've gone overboard on the food, but I've had a drink. If you can get Ollie or Zosh to come round I can give you turkey sprouts ect
C x

At 1.30 the table was set ready for Blanche's arrival at 2. The food from Colette's was in the oven. The doorbell went. "Oliver"
"Mother!" Ollie said as she hugged him "Merry Christmas."
"Blanche" Zosia said as they air kissed.
"Hi, I'm Natalia," Ali smiled "Merry Christmas, Mrs Valentine." Blanche looked at her cooly and Ali stood awkwardly. "I'm Zosia's cousin. Call me Ali if it's easier." She said brightly.
"Natalia," Blanche air kissed Ali too.
They all sat down at the table. Ollie and Ali went to the kitchen to get the food and bring it to the living room where Ollie had set the table. Blanche was making unhelpful comments about Zosia and Ali.
"You're being quiet today, Zosia."
"You don't eat much do you Natalia."
"Where are your parents Natalia?"
Ali was really struggling as her every move was being scrutinised by Blanche, she only managed a few mouthfuls. "Is that all you're eating, Natalia?" Blanche asked
"Yeah. We had a big meal for Wigilia- that's Polish Christmas Eve, last night. I'm still full I think." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.
"Why aren't you spending Christmas with your parents?"
"Christmas eve is a bigger celebration for us, and mama is spending Christmas with some friends from the Polish community she met at mass."
"What....." Blanche began to ask until Ollie butted in "no need to interrogate her mother. She's Zosia's younger cousin who's staying with us because her mother has only recently come out of hospital." Ollie looked pointedly at his mother...he wasn't lying, Klaudia had been in hospital he was just being economical with the truth. He wasn't particularly close with his mother and didn't want to explain everything to her.
Ali offered to clear the plates away. She could feel Blanche's eveident dislike of her and wanted to spend as little time as possible in the company of Oliver's mother. She took everyone's plates and put them in the dishwasher. She got some of the leftover deserts from Wigilia and tried to arrange them nicely on a big plate. There was about half a carrot cake, a quarter of a cheese cake, some piernik, a Polish gingerbread cake and some fruit compote, a Polish tradition for Wigilia. As she brought them in Blanche looked horrified. "You're having left overs?...on Christmas Day?"
"Mother, like I already said. For 2 of the 3 members of this household yesterday held the most significance. Plus we didn't know you were coming."
"What are these?" Blanche asked.
"Carrot cake and cheesecake, then the other cake is Piernik- like a gingerbread but cake and the other is a fruit Kompote- they're traditional Polish foods my mama made them." Ali had the tiniest spoonful of fruit compote and a tiny slither of piernek, although she still left half of it. Blanche had a piece of cheesecake and Zosia and Ollie had a little bit of everything.
After dessert they decided to see what's on the tv, Ollie put the table away and they watched Christmas reruns of comedy. Blanche continued to make snide comments about Ali and Zosia. About 7pm she turned to Ollie. "Oliver, can you please order me a taxi, I'd best be going." Ollie went into the hallway to use the landline and Ali was FaceTiming Elsie, who was having a difficult day with the food. Blanche turned to Zosia, "you know that you're not good enough for him, he does everything around here, I honestly dont know what he sees in you, I mean you're perfectly pleasant but you're just not right for Oliver." As Ollie came back in "5 minutes mother" Zosia excused herself and went upstairs to the bathroom. She didn't know what to do. All the thoughts were going around in her head...not good enough...not good enough.....not good enough. She was distraught and hysterical. She sat down on the floor her eyes swimming in tears. She saw Ollie's razor blades and her head brought back Ali's words it calms me down...quiets my mind not good enough...not good enough. She grabbed the razor and before she knew what she was doing there was blood dripping off her arm onto the floor. And she couldn't stop, the tears stopped the calm came over her.
Ali upstairs had heard Zosia crying. "You've got this Elsie, ring me later if you need me darl." She finished and turned off her FaceTime. She went and knocked on the bathroom door. "Zosh....Zosia are you ok?....Zosh." After not receiving an answer she pushed the door open and was surprised to find it wasn't locked. When she saw the scene inside she froze momentarily. Zosia slumped on the floor, makeup running down her face, cutting deep into her thigh, blood dripping onto the floor. She didn't know what to do, "Zosh....Stop.....stop it!" She looked down at her cousin with wide eyes. Zosia seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in. She looked shocked as she saw what she had done to her arm. The tears came again, huge sobs rocking her whole body. Ali's instinct was to pick up the razor herself, but she managed to fight it. She ran down the stairs two at a time. Ollie was showing Blanche out. Ali grabbed onto his arm as he closed the door. Ali was panicking and breathing really fast. "Hey, hey what's happened?" He asked her trying to calm her down. "Zosia, it's Zosia...she's in the bathroom." She breathed. Ollie squeezed her shoulder then ran up the stairs, Ali followed. "Zosia," he said crouching down beside her, "Zosia, it's ok, I'm here."
"Go away....just go away"
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Why have you done this Zosh, hey"
"You wouldn't understand Ollie."
"I would." Ali said quietly "I...I do"
"Natalia, go downstairs and get the big first aid kit from the utility room and a glass of water for Zosh." Ali nodded and did what's she was asked. "Zosia, Zosia...listen" she was still crying looking at the floor. "What brought this on? Look at me! Zosia, I do understand, do you remember another Christmas, a few years back. You were manic. You thought a patient had the spirit of your mother. And I was being operated on in Darwin after self destructing in Mexico. I was never diagnosed with depression but I know what it's like to be in a hole and feel completely hopeless, and how much you need something to distract you but come on Zosia this isn't helping you know that." Ollie said softly as he picked up the razor blade she'd dropped to the floor and put it back on the sink and wondered how he was going to shave if he had to throw away his razors. He felt sick, he knew Zosia was hurting but he didn't know it was this bad. Ali came back with the first aid kit and some water. "Thank you Natalia, if I ask you to go up to your room will you be okay?" Ollie asked worriedly. Ali nodded. She had been taught healthy coping mechanisms at day treatment. She wanted to call Colette or Elsie but she knew she couldn't do that, not on Christmas Day and when she already knew Elsie was struggling. She looked around her room and saw her nail varnishes on her desk. They were currently a Christmassy red but she found a silver and started to paint her nails. The repetitive motion helped keep her calm.
Meanwhile in the bathroom Ollie was cleaning Zosia's cuts and putting steri-strips across them to close them while she cried. He knew that technically he should take her to A&E but everyone there would know her, it would freak her out, wouldn't help her career and it was Christmas Day. He bandaged her leg and sat down opposite her. "Zosia, what happened?"