This Thing Called Love.

XXXIX

Dani.

Three Days Later.

I laid on the table in my OBGYN office. Today I got to see my baby. His little heart beat keeps me going. I can't wait to hold him.

I've been trying to think of names but so far nothing has popped up. One things for sure he won't be a Junior.

Chris is in a very dark space right now and I don't want anything to do with him. The drugs, the disrespect, all that shit has took me over the edge. I'm still contemplating whether or not if I should go to this funeral tomorrow. Just might send some flowers.

If I do go it'll be for his mom.

I still can't believe this fool tried to rape me! Like why would you want to put me through that again?

Why did he feel like cocaine would be the things to help his situation. It's going to just ruin his life. Is this something he's done before or is it something new? Will I have to worry about my sons father eventually becoming some fucking crack head on the streets?

So many questions are running through my mind, I feel like I'm going to eventually go insane.

A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts.

"Come in." I said.

My doctor came walking in.

"Hello Danielle, how are you today?"

"I'm okay, and you?"

"I'm good. No Chris today?"

"No. He's planning his dad's funeral so he can't make it."

"Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. Well let's check on you little one and see how he's holding up. Have you started to feel more movement yet?"

"I feel his little taps when I'm upset or something."

"Oh he's letting you know to calm it down."

"Yeah or he'll ball up and I have no choice but to calm down."

"That anger isn't good for him. I see you have a smart guy on your hands. So what I'm gonna do is check your cervix make sure everything is okay and then we're going to see what your little one is up to."

I nodded.

She propped up my legs and started getting what she needed. I absolutely hate this shit. It's the most uncomfortable thing ever.

Right now I wish Chris was here.

There was another knock on the door. I quickly put my legs down, don't need whoever is at the door seeing my pot of gold.

My doctor went and opened the door a little.

"Chris is here." I heard a voice say.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was hoping he forgot about this.

"What a surprise!" The doctor said. "Come in, come in. I was just getting started so you haven't missed anything."

"Okay." I heard him say while closing the door.

He pulled a chair over to me. I just looked at him. He looked so much better when he's sober.

I put my legs back up.

"Okay let's get back to it. You ready Danielle? I know this is a little uncomfortable."

She slid that metal thing inside of me and opened it. I gasped and grabbed Chris's hand.