Behind The Smile

€HAPTER 53

Days goes by,Seungri was getting slightly better and all of them starting to make out with each other back and catch up their friendship back.Eventhough Seungri was feeling happy and he actually reject all the treatment session but ended up doing it too because all of them begging him until Jiyong even cried.

Yes,chemotheraphy will help Seungri ease the pain and make him live longer but it also had it side effect.So thats why Seungri always deny on doing it.

Result to the chemotheraphy,Seungri easily get dizzy,fever,easily cold and he can't even get the slightest stress at all.

Jiyong and the others try their hard to cheer him up and help him wake up when he sometimes lost hope in life and want to stop the treatment.And thats why,here Seungri is inside the bathroom,vomitting God know what it is including blood when nobody in his room because they went back to get change.

'I'm so weak...I'm getting weaker...' Seungri look at his reflection in the mirror.He can see his body was changing.His appearance is like a dead.His skin was deadly pale,his eyebag was the most seenable.He look like a dying person.

'Hyung..You lie..You said its gonna be better...You said I will survived..What should I do hyung?I had promised you to stay forever with you..But now...What should I do?' Seungri slide down to the floor crying and the knife he stole from Jiyong beg when he bring it to cut the apple.

"I'm sorry hyung...I still make it look like I'm fighting because I don't want to dissapointed all of you..You had done so much for me..But still...I can't manage to survive.." Seungri slide his wrist crying not because the cuts but the sorrow of pain in his soft heart when he replay in his mind what the doctors said to him.

"Mr.Seungri...How are you feeling today?" The doctor visit Seungri like usual but Seungri can sense something bad will come.

"I'm fine Doc...." Seungri reply still smiling.

"I had something to talk..About your condition..I hope you will accept it with an open heart and believe in God..Everything happen must had a reason.Alright?" The doctor said putting down the chart board on the table and hold Seungri hand tightly comforting him.

"What...What happen Doc?" Seungri said starting to get scared.

"I'm so sorry...But...We didn't manage to make you survive.We are so sorry Seungri." The Doc said and Seungri suddenly feel blank.Everything blank.He can't see anything.Its pure black.He didn't even realize tears was streaming down from his eyes and the doctor.

"We tried our best...But you just had a month left to keep going..then..You.." Seungri continued.

"Will be die." Seungri said looking down hiding his sadness.

"We had tried.And its really hard for me to tell you about this.But,you need to be prepare...prepare to said goodbye Seungri..." The doctor said then hug Seungri that really need a shoulder to cry now.

"You had fight well Seungri..Good job..You had make it this far...Its ok...God love you Seungri...It's ok.." The doctor patted his back and Seungri sobbing harder at his shoulder.

Seungri drop the knife on the floor due to the freeze hand he had suddenly because he was so tired.He wipe his face with his hand but blood was staining his face.He failed.He failed his life.He failed to be a good son.He failed to be a good student.He fail to be a good human.He didn't survive.

'Hyung...I'm dying...I'm walking away...What should I do?Why...Why?!' Seungri thought in his mind and he sat in the toilet for 2 hours then he washed everything up,make sure no stained and hide the knife back.Nobody thought he was cutting anymore and thanks to the lomg sleeves hospital clothes he survived to hide it.

Seungri walk lifelessly to his bed and sit on it facing the window infront of him.How long should he lie?How will he tell everyone?Why did God need to break their hope?They was expecting Seungri keep getting better by the doctor that had promised to lie for Seungri until he was ready to tell them by himself.

'How long did I need to lie?It feel so hurt...Looking at their smiles...The happy way they talk when their was planning to bring me everywhere when I recover....How I wish they stop planning and hoping..Because the end the hope gonne kill them back..' Seungri thought and cried himself to sleep and be ready for the day to act like he was fine infront of everyone.

Jiyong walk in the room happily after make sure he had ask the doctor about Seungri condition.He walk toward the sleeping Seungri then pinch his nose making the cuties open his eyes that was swollen die to the crying session last night and look at Jiyong smiling face.

'How I wish..I can keep on looking at this beautiful scene when I'm awake every morning?Its really sad to know that after a few more days,everything will be gone.' Seungri thought then closed his eyes back try to stop the tears then he show the sweetest smile he can then wake up whining like he usually do.

"Hyungiee....Why did you wake me up..I'm so sleepy.." Seungri whine then Jiyong cupped his cheeks and was smiling and chuckling at Seungri cuteness.

"My baby boy..Riri need to eat to recover fast so we can hangout together back.Alright?" Jiyong said then kiss Seungri cheeks.

'I wish I will receive this kiss everyday until the last day.'

"Ri!!I miss you so much!" Daesung shout running toward Seungri with a Doraemon teddy bear.

"Hyung!I miss you too three and four!" Seungri said replying and make the room get chaotic with the laughing noise of four of them.

'I wish I could stay....'

"I buy you a teddy bear!!I hope you will not feel alone if we aren't here everynight kay??Talk to Mr.Bear.." Daesung said happy.

'...stay locked in this moments forever.."

"Noo!!We gonna named that Baebae!" Youngbae said earning a 'waeyoohyungie' from Daesung.

'I wish I would remember...'

"Anniya!!We gonna name that Jiyongiee!Like how Riri used to call me now!" Jiyong said then showing his tongue like a five years old boy to Youngbae that was glaring at him.

'....the times we laugh and have fun together...'

"Noo..Let's name that Big Seunghyun because I'm the oldest here." Top said prentending looking like a leader.

'I wish I could turn back the times...'

"Hey!!You can't used the elder card here!You act childish then Daesung!" Youngbae said then they laugh while Top trying to chase for Youngbae that was hiding behind Jiyong to get him protected.

"How about you Seungri?What would you like to name it?" Daesung ask ignoring Youngbae that was shouting and laughing with the stupid trios there tickling each other.

"I want to name it Kami." Seungri said looking down at the teddy bear.

'..and walk away if we walk past each other that times'

"Ehh??Thats unique.Why Kami Seungri?"

'...if I know this is how we are gonna say goodbye'

'Because I hope God can give me one more chance to be here laughing and tearing up to you guys stupid jokes and dance.No more cuddling.No more eating at the rooftop.No more playing at the park.No more sharing the problems.No more seeing all of yours face forever.I wish I can remember you..Even if my body already seperated from my soul.'

TO BE CONTINUED.
Crying like mess...Kami in Japanese means God.Tommorow i'm celebrating my bestfriend birthday together so I won't be updating during the day maybe on night time..Don't feel bad for my before author notes.Just a bit stress.I'm ok.Love you guys❤❤ and sorry if I make you cried.Its ok...I cry too here.. 😢