Behind The Smile

€HAPTER 59

"I am...a suicidal person...I was bullied at my school...I was always the second choice for everyone..Life is getting hard day by day and I starting to give up in my life but I feel so tired that I can't kill myself yet when I think of my parents.They try and work so hard to make sure I get everything I need to study eventhough my dad company gone bancrupt." Seungri story it to Sofea that was just hearing and focussing.

"I was dying to keep on the act that I'm happy..till one day..This guy..that look like an angel that day came into my life.The first thing I thought when I saw him for the first time was...Is it real?Is the person that was looking at me now was real?He look...so handsome and full of the positive vibe aura around him.For a second I feel amazed." Seungri told Sofea the story full with emotions and smile was shown on his face.He was happy.

"That guy was Jiyong right?" Sofea said smiling then Seungri just reply her smile and nodded.

"Since that day..no matter how hard I push him away..he will always be there..Routing for me...keep helping me go through every hardship...Hold my hand when I'm scared..Hug me to stop the pain to cutting back...He help me stop my cutting habits for a while..But..I realize that I was the only one who was happy..He was not...He feel stressed...I was getting better but somehow he was getting bad.." Sofea smile drop slowly as she saw Seungri tears fell down on his cheeks that still smiling.

"I thought...I can help him to feel happy,fun..and joy same as me..But I always brought bad things in his life.Always.Get him in a bad trouble but he always there,hug me,telling me its ok..but I know it was killing him.My presence bring sadness in his life.He got threaten by his father to keep on doing good in company or I will get hurt, and now I'm here to make him follow all this guys needs.He was being by shining armor but somehow I am his killer.I feel like..I betrayed him..I make he feel sad..And now the urge to cuts get morw badly...I want to die..And now I had no more reason to stay alive." Seungri said sliding up his sleeves looking at the cuts he had proudly made.

"If you die..then how about your parents?Won't they be sad?" Sofea question Seungri with tears in her eyes.She never know,even Seungri,the one that was free outside there was facing more hardship then her.He was far more sick and in pain then her.

"My parents treat him like their own son..they love him so much and he loved them as much as I loved them.That's enough for me to feel its ok.Its fine for me to go now because Jiyong will be there replacing my place in their heart.I am nobody..Just a body that was trying to life with a soul that want to die." Seungri said looking outside the window.

"You did well." Sofea said then patted Seungri head lightly make the little boy look at her shock.

"What?" Seungri ask.

"You had survive this far its mean you had endure it well.You had come to here...Don't give up..look how far had you walk until here...there is just a little bit more infront Seungri..Just a bit more.." Sofea said tearing up.

"Why are you here Sofea?I know you are a good girl." Seungri ask and Sofea just look away.

"I was sold off by my dad because of his debt to the loan shark...My dad promised me he will come to find me one day...But it had been 5 years..I wondered if he even remember about that promise..." Sofea said then Seungri just smile.

"You are also an angel..An angel that was tired to live in this hell earth and want to go home..You are trying to go home Sofea.You will reach there soon." Seungri smile and Sofea just look at his glittering eyes sad but she keep that tiny hope that maybe what Seungri said will become true.

After such a awkward silence,Sofea realize that Seungri look pale and his skin was so white and the way he breathe was weird.

"Are you ok Seungri?" Sofea ask worry.

"I'm ok..I'm just..dying..." Seungri said holding his heart and smile while his face try hard to hide the pain.Sofea become uneasy hearing the word dying.

"Hey!Don't said it like that!You will be ok!You must be ok!" Sofea said holding Seungri hand hoping she can give him the same hope he gave to her just now.

"Sofea..You are really good to make me keep fighting..but sometimes we have to accept the fate..Eventhough its hurt and cruel...Its just the destiny..It just how the world keep on spinning." Seungri said smiling while looking at her with his sincere look.

"No...We should keep hope!We should keep on praying..You..You will be alright..Seungri please don't give up now.." Sofea said tears again rolled down her cheeks but Seungri slowly wipe it away with his hand that make Sofea realize it was cold.As cold as ice.

"I won't make it Sofea..I accept the facts..that i'm going to die..Soon or later..I haven't eat my medicines for a while and I was losing so much blood...I can feel my body starting to give up to..And it's telling me it was really sorry..." Sofea hold his hand tight make Seungri look at her shock.

"No!You need to keep on fighting!At least for Jiyong!He must had fight also to come here and save you.He still fighting there to bring you out then why are you losing hope now!" Sofea said angry with the facts that Seungri giving up when she probably know Jiyong on the other side trying hard to bring Seungri home safely.

"I'm the reason he was in danger now..If he come here..He will be in extreme danger..And I don't want that Sofea..They want to hurt him...I'm ok if its was me is hurting but I don't want anybody to hurt him.He had a really bad past,and he was trying to live normally.He lost his lovely brother that he had no chance to said he love him so much when he was alive.My present in his life was like a new chapter for him...."

"If he lose you he will be back to where he was..He will turn his head back to the past and he will be drowning there again Seungri.." Sofea said suddenly but Seungri just sighed but the sad smile never left his face.

"I know..That might be happen...But..Between his safety and that..I'm sorry..He must be safe..He can forget me..He can find the replacement for me..Like I said..I am nobody Sofea..From the start I wasn't supposed to be beside him...It was all a mistake..I was a bad luck in his life." Seungri smile starting to fade as his cries was getting bad.

"You stupid Seungri.You should care more about yourself!You are thinking on how to make everyone happy but never hink on what the sequences on you!" Sofea said hitting his hand lightly sad.

"Yeah..I am stupid Sofea..Always..." Seungri said then the conversation just ended like that and both of them was in tears and their own dilemma then Sofea fall asleep along with Seungri beside him.

'I wish I never exist at the first place..so all this things will never happen to everyone..I'm..sorry..' Seungri though drowning to dreams with tears stained on his cheeks.

TO BE CONTINUED.
Yollo guys ^_^ I'm back!First of all I want to apologize to everyone for my rude behaviour past days..Sigh..😌 I should control my depression well more..I'm really sorry and I deeply apologize to everyone..And Surprisingly we all ahd reach here and its a bit more then we will be done with Behind The Smile (Applause😂✌👏)
And i already have the idea for the next book as well.And I want to tell you that might be some of you won't like the ending of this story so I deeply apologize to that.Don't worry..I promise to handle my depression well after this..I'm really really really sorry if I hurt any of your feelings 😿🙏🙇 Keep on VOTING and left COMMENT of what you think of the journey until here in the comment section down there.Last but not least....

I ❤ You guys so much.Bear with me sometimes...Don't forget to comment kay?Adioss