Our Apartment In Seoul || Jikook

이십[20]

I was lying on the ground, crying and sobbing like a child. I shivered from the cold that embraced my body and the realization that my mother had passed away.

I wrapped my arms around my body and cried. Tears were flowing down my face and dripped on the ground. My stomach hurt like crazy from the sudden waves of sobbing that hit my body.

M-mom... I sniveled incoherently and clawed my fingers into the fabric of my shirt. M-mom...w-why...!? I sobbed. I couldn't breath between the sobs, my lungs hurt from the sudden miss of oxygen.

I cowered on the ground, my cheek pressed onto the cold floor while tears were rushing down my face. D-don't be dead! I yelled pitifully and nearly choked on my sobs. Don't... please... I sniveled, yelling in mental pain while tears and saliva dripped on the ground.

The floor was so cold, so cold that it made me shiver. I cramped every time when a wave of sobs hit me and the cold crept into my body. It felt like cold fingers which coated over my skin and didn't dare to let me go.

Y-you can't... please. I pleaded and sobbed. Everything hurt. My ankle, my lungs, my stomach and my head.

I couldn't even look up when I heard the sound of the door. I'm home. A familiar voice shouted and I heard steps in the floor. But I couldn't yell something back. My throat was filled with sobs that came uncontrollably out.

The door opened and someone stopped before he ran towards me. I saw Jimin above me. He crouched in front of me and looked anxiously. Jungkook-sshi!? he asked loudly. What is? What is wrong? I felt his warm hand on my shoulder as he bent down to look at me.

I sobbed and stared at him, my vision blurry from the tears in my eyes. I tried to breath in or even to breath but everything that came out of my mouth were loud and incoherent sobs.

Jimin bit his lip in anxiety and tried to prop me up. Please get up, it's too cold on the floor. He said and gave me pleading glance.

But I couldn't. As soon as he placed me in a sitting position I was about to fall back and cower on the ground again. But he wrapped his arms quickly around me and hold me tightly.

The sudden flush of warmth shocked me for a moment and I couldn't move for a moment. I burrowed my face into his shoulder and cried. My hands clawed into his back as I sobbed and leaned with everything I had into his hug.

Jimin rubbed circles with his palms on my back and tried to comfort me. I hugged the smaller boy tightly and hold him like my whole life depends on it. My face was pressed into his shoulder, tears still flowing down my cheeks and wetting his shirt.

I knew it was wrong to hold him like that, to cry on his shoulder and not letting him go. It was unfair. I was the whole time so shitty to him, insulting and badgering him. And now I hold him like a piece of wood in the stormy ocean, like he was my only hold, my rescue.

And I would've totally understand him if he'd pushed me away and letting me alone. Because I would do it like that. I would treat a person like that if someone would be that malicious to me.

But Jimin was still by my side, hugging me back and letting me cry. He didn't even complain as I dug my fingers into his back.

He waited for me to calm down, still rubbing my back and being there for me. I snuffled and moved a little bit away but didn't dare to break our hug. Whats wrong, Jungkook-sshi? Jimin asked softly and stroked my hair.

My mouth started to quiver as soon as I thought about it. I could hear it clearly. The voice of the woman which told me that my mother had passed away. I could remember how I hang up and fell on my knees, staring at nothing and starting suddenly to cry, ending up on the ground.

M-my mother... I stuttered quietly. M-my r-real mother... had passed away. I whispered, feeling the heaviness of the words and couldn't do anything against it but started crying again. It was so painful, so unbelievable painful in my chest.

I embraced Jimin again, burrowing my face into the crook of his neck and feeling the hot liquid running down my cheeks. Love hurts... I whispered almost inaudible. It hurts so much.

Jimin comforted me again. His hands stroked from the back of my head, to my neck and over my back. Again and again, while I hold him tightly.

He shook his head slightly. Love doesn't hurt always. he muttered quietly.

It does! I yelled sobbing. In the end everything is going to hurt you. It's an endless cycle.

It isn't. Jimin said quietly. It was never a cycle and it'll never be one. Every love has their own path to go. Some of them are cliffy, other ones crooked and some paths are easier than others. But in the end it's an individual path with ups and downs. Sometimes the paths split up and collide with other ones. But everyone of them will find their destination sooner or later, for sure.

I didn't know why but I got strangely calm at his words and closed my swollen eyes. Hm. I made tiredly and leaned against him.

Let's bring you to bed. It's really late. Jimin said and I nodded lazily. He helped me walking to my bedroom because of my ankle and my shivering legs. He turned off the light as soon as I laid in my bedsheets and was about to go but I yelled quickly. Don't go! Don't leave me! I knew I shouldn't do this. To exploit him like this. To be so weak and abjectly. But I didn't want to be alone. Not in this night.

Jimin looked at me, widening his eyes at my words. He went out of the room and came with a chair in his arms back. He placed it in front of my bed and sat on it. He crossed his arms and looked at me with tired eyes. Sleep. I'm gonna be here when you wake up.

I nodded relieved, closing my eyes and felt the heavy exhaustion in me. I turned around and faced the window in front of me.

Thank you. I mumbled quietly. Thank you very much, Jimin.

I couldn't see his face but I was sure it was twisted in confusion. Because this was the first time I thanked him for something.

-,-,-,

It's already chapter 20!!! ^_^

I listened to the OST "And I'm here" from the drama "Goblin" while writing this

I thought this song suits this chapter really well

Anyway a big thank you for reading until chapter 20 ^_^ Hope you like it :D